Stop the Presses! Young & Restless Is Doing the Impossible — Plus, a Big Bad’s Master Plan and the Love Triangle We Never Saw Coming
Credit: Howard Wise/JPI (2), CBS
With Candace Young off living the high life this week, you’re stuck with me, Young & Restless fans. But don’t worry. Much. Even though not a lot happened on the show, we still have a lot to talk about. So grab a coffee — or a nice Pinot Grigio — and let’s dive in.
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“I’ll have scrambled eggs, toast and a nice Chianti, please.”
Time-Out
First, can we just pause for a moment to marvel at the fluidity of time in Genoa City? Thursday, for instance, while Devon and Abby were at the jazz club enjoying a wine-down, and Chelsea and Billy were at Society having dinner with Daniel and Lily, Summer was at Crimson Lights ordering coffee, and Tucker and Ashley were basking in the afternoon sun at the park. So were Devon and Abby day-drinking? Were the double daters hitting an early-bird special? Was Summer supposedly off to work the night shift? All of the above? I have literally no idea, but I think we should still give credit where it is due: Young & Restless has done the impossible and broken the rules of time and space. Or maybe it’s just tossed out the rules for continuity.
“Just how many guys have you clocked with a bottle of champagne, Sharon?
The Element of Surprise… Removed
Although David Kimble is the blast from the past that I’d have loved to have seen back in action, it was instead Cameron Kirsten who was returned to the canvas in… well, the least shocking way possible. His entrance had been telegraphed so heavily, thanks to the blood-stained bottle of bubbly that he sent Sharon, that the reaction to his appearance was less “Oh my God!” than “Sheesh, finally!” We can only hope that his storyline will be more surprising than his comeback. If his master plan is merely to torment Sharon some more, we’ve been there, done that. There is, however, a far more interesting and complicated route in which the show could go. (Read about that here.)
“Can’t talk, Nick. I’m getting… uh, a call. Yeah. From… uh, my hand. That’s the ticket.”
Young & Restless or Dumb and Dumber?
Am I alone in being utterly perplexed by Victoria and Nate? She’s let a fox in the henhouse at Newman and then insisted to anyone and everyone that she likes his ambition the way his mouth waters as he gazes at the chickens. “This is nothing like with Ashland,” she protests. Er, how’s that? Because Nate hasn’t lied about being terminally ill? (Yet.) And another thing: We get told over and over what a shrewd exec Victoria is, but when Nate googled McCall Industries for her, she reacted as if he’d just invented the wheel. I half-expected her to ask him to tell her more about this amazing new invention called the internet.
“Before you say no, you should know that an alliance with me comes with… coffee.”
Then again, Nate isn’t coming off any brighter than Victoria. He formed some kind of goofy alliance with Audra in which he’s promised to help her up the corporate ladder in exchange for… Do I have this right? Her just listening to office gossip about him and the boss? That’s such a lame-ass deal, it makes me want to play Monopoly with Nate just so I can get him to trade me Park Place for Baltic Avenue. But the silliest beat in their plot this week went to his ex, Elena, who, egged on by Audra, marched into Victoria’s office to announce that she was quitting the podcast. Oh no, not the podcast! And the lovers could just forget about exercising her noncompete clause. Oh no, she wouldn’t go do her podcast somewhere else… would she? The heartbreak! The drama! Oof. Elena deserved better than Nate and better than that speech, too.
“There it goes,” thought Tucker. “My last ounce of self-respect.”
Unsolved, Perhaps Unsolvable Mysteries
In other — I’ll be generous and call them… — developments, the show doubled down on its determination to defang Tucker by having him go along with Ashley’s fake-engagement scenario even though she’s all but got “I’m just not that into you” tattooed on her forehead. Not sure why the powers that be are acting as if, even just from his standpoint, his and Ashley’s disastrous marriage was some great love; it wasn’t. Summer spent most of the week acting like she liked Kyle even less than Ashley does Tucker. Guess Summer really is her mother’s daughter since she doesn’t understand why Kyle would want to get Diane out from under charges of attempted murder.
Phyllis’ fatal mistake? Going with real lip gloss instead of a fake mustache.
For her part, Phyllis continued her efforts to establish herself as the heir apparent to Bold & Beautiful master of disguise Sally Spectra (the original). She also revealed a heretofore-unknown knack for magic by slipping a hotel key card in Summer’s pocket without her even noticing. I very much enjoyed how she leaned into Genoa City’s lack of time constraints, too, by texting Summer to meet her in an hour at a location TBD. How could she know that Summer could make it within 60 minutes? What if she had strayed too far from the eventual rendezvous point? No matter, this being Genoa City, where day is night, and night is day.
Chin up, Connor. You’ll be on your third wife in no time.
Naptime and a Welcome Wake-Up Call
I am most definitely not one of those viewers who thinks that a happy couple = a boring couple. But Chelsea/Billy and Devon/Abby hit me as hard as a handful of sleep aids. A little wit goes a long way, gang. Real people are funny; why aren’t these characters? If nothing else, maybe the writers can turn the saccharine down a notch or 10? There is a way to do sweet without triggering our gag reflexes. (The proof here.) Ironically, Young & Restless proved in the same episodes that it can do sweet without making us retch with the freaking delightful scenes between Lucy, Johnny and Connor.
Let’s break it down. First of all, those young actors are hella awesome — adorable and natural and miraculously able to handle the insanely recap-heavy dialogue they were given. They even made their chat about who’s been with whom among their parents lively and fun! Second of all, the hint of a triangle between a clearly besotted Connor and older fast friends Johnny and Lucy was precious. More of that, please. Finally, we got some “young” to go with the “restless”!
“Why is this garbage so clean? Does no one in this town use ketchup?”
Question-and-No-Answer Session
To close out this edition of Soapbox, allow me to leave you with some things to ponder. Why hadn’t the garbage Chance was digging through been picked up since Phyllis’ memorial service? Are Genoa City’s sanitation workers on strike? Why doesn’t Genoa City have any private eyes? Shouldn’t Jack and Kyle have retained some slick gumshoe to investigate Phyllis’ “death”? Speaking of “the deceased,” can we please stop having her ask, “What kind of mother can leave her children?” when she is that kind of mother? There’s hypocritical, and then there’s beating-your-head-against-the-wall hypocritical.
Do I understand this correctly, that Sally and Chloe’s entire business plan was to keep hitting up people they know for work until somebody finally threw them a bone? Does anyone care about Victoria and Adam pitting their media companies against one another when there’s nothing at stake? At the end of the showdown, they’ll both still be richer than all of us combined. Is Ashley’s theory that Jack’s involvement with Diane reflects poorly on Jabot nonsense? Do you know who runs CoverGirl or Sephora… or whether they’re fiancée is accused of murder? (I don’t.)
This is how it’s done, Audra.
Are we still supposed to buy Audra as a “bad girl” after she admitted to Elena that she’d never even thrown a drink on anyone? C’mon, that’s soap-vixen 101 stuff! What was Summer doing ordering “a bag of carbs” when it’s obvious no one in Genoa City has ever ingested one? Why did Billy, Chelsea and Daniel put their kids at not only a different table from them but a table separated from them by yet another table? If I were the youngsters, I would’ve been glad to have sat out the dullest meal on record. But it still seemed damn weird, considering that it was supposed to be some kinda blended family dinner.
She works hard for the money. Way harder than she has to.
Finally — and maybe Candi has chuckled at this before —does Sharon always wear higher-than-high heels to make coffee all day? I guess it makes sense, since she dresses like she’s going shopping on Rodeo Drive even though she’s just hawking cake pops. But when I saw those shoes, I was like, “Really? Sharon, you can be glamorous in sneakers, I promise.” Drop your thoughts on the week in the comments below and be sure to check out our newly expanded photo gallery of bloopers and outtakes from the stars’ most stylish shoots.
