Soapbox

The Good News: Bold & Beautiful Is Finally Telling Multiple Stories. The Bad News: You’ve Seen Them Before.

B&B mashup taylor hope sheila

Credit: CBS screenshots

Even on a show where the standard operating procedure is “wash, rinse, repeat,” there have to be limits. How many times are we expected to sit through literally the same storyline? Right now, two of the main three tales being told on Bold & Beautiful are reruns, while the third is downright ludicrous! There’s a lot to talk about, so we’d better get started… 

Ridge, You Are the Weakest Link

Remember years ago that movie in which a babysitter was receiving terrifying calls. It all built up to a phone call in which a police officer delivered one of the most chilling lines in horror-movie history. Well, we want to dial up Brooke and paraphrase that quote by telling her, “We’ve traced the problem, and it’s coming from inside your house.”

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The look on Ridge’s face says it all. Yeah, he’s pretty pleased with himself.

Credit: CBS screenshot (2), Howard Wise/JPI

Brooke best summed up the entire issue when she told Liam, “My issue isn’t with Ridge. It’s with Taylor.”

Girl, no.

Taylor is only an issue because Ridge is allowing her to be one. the man is an ego with legs who will happily bounce between the two of you until he is forced to stop doing so.

Worst. Shrink. Ever.

They say doctors make the worst patients, and Taylor is certainly living proof of that. It’s embarrassing watch a world-renowned psychiatrist (patent pending) giggle and coo over a man who she knows then goes home to his wife.

Taylor confession B&B

“I can’t help it! Ridge is just so adorable when he’s being indecisive!”

Credit: CBS screenshot

To be clear, I adore Krista Allen and she lights up the screen when Taylor is sharing romantic moments with Thorsten Kaye’s Ridge. I just want all of that charisma redirected toward someone more worthy. At the very least, why not have Steffy suggest that her mom show Ridge what he’s missing out on by going out with another guy and making him jealous? At least that would put Taylor in the driver’s seat.

And if she really wants to drive Ridge nuts, she should spend more time with Deacon. The show may have forgotten how awesome those two were during their bonding sessions a few months back, but we sure haven’t!

B&B Taylor Deacon bond

Deacon and Taylor. This. We want. More. This.

Credit: CBS screenshot

Sense and Nonsense

Deacon has always been the kind of guy who put his own interests first. So it defies logic that he would continue to play Sheila’s game. It would be so easy for him to call the police pretending to be Steffy’s neighbor and say, “You know, I see someone sneaking around the house.” If Sheila tried to throw him under the bus upon her arrest, all he’d have to do is say, “Um, yeah, she’s a lying liar who lies from her throne of lies.”

At this point, Deacon is knowingly putting not only himself and his relationship with Hope on the line, but also the lives of people like Steffy, Finn and… well, anyone else who might cross her delusional path. For what? The supposed money she keeps claiming to have? She hasn’t produced it, clearly, and — more importantly — if we’re supposed to buy that Deacon is a new-and-improved guy, what amount of money would be worth sacrificing his daughter?

Daddy Daycare

Speaking of Hope, this whole storyline about Douglas’ custody baffles me. I mean, she had to know that at some point, it was reasonable to expect that Thomas might come a-callin’ for his son. Now, do I think the timing makes any sense at all? Not a bit. I mean, Douglas has a good home with his mom and stepdad. Thomas is uprooting the kid to… maybe live with grandpa Eric? And what happens when Thomas realizes, “Oh, guess I’m not gonna win Hope away fro Liam” and decides to date. Will he then… go back to dropping Douglas at Hope’s while he plays rich, single dude?

Matthew Atkinson, Django Ferri thomas douglas bb jpi

No, Thomas, Douglas is not old enough to be your wingman. At least not until SORAS hits!

Credit: Howard Wise/JPI

Every single element of this story is a rerun. Thomas is becoming obsessed with Hope again (for no good reason). It’s causing Taylor and Brooke to butt heads (’cause they needed yet another reason to fight). And the dialogue has once again become painfully repetitive, with Brooke lamenting she doesn’t trust Thomas, and it now apparently being a daily thing for everyone to gather at Eric’s and talk about the importance of being a Forrester.

Of course, it’s worth noting that… um… most of the people in that room are actually Marones, thanks to Ridge’s never-discussed paternity.

More: How to play the Soap Opera Drinking Game

Random Thoughts

bb liam steffy hope Jacqueline MacInnes Wood, Scott Clifton, Annika Noelle"The Bold and the Beautiful" SetCBS Television CityLos Angeles, Ca.06/05/18© Howard Wise/jpistudios.com310-657-9661

You just know Liam misses these days.

Credit: Howard Wise/JPI

• There’s been a lot of talk about the Logan/Forrester wars, with Steffy pointing out to anyone who’ll listen that it’s time the Forrester family came out on top. It’s too bad the writers won’t let Hope say, “Steffy, maybe you should use yourself as an example. You didn’t win our battle over Liam, and your mom’s not going to win hers.”

• If you think Douglas casually mentioning that voice-changing software was just a kid playing with a cool toy, you don’t know this soap at all. Remember that digital picture frame that everyone gushed over right up until the moment it exposed Bill and Brooke’s kiss? This is not a show that does casual mentions… or anything resembling subtlety.

• How are Deacon and Sheila getting around town? She went from downtown Los Angeles to Steffy’s beach house in the time it took Steffy to throw her hair into a chic pony. Did Mike give Sheila his car for keeps? And even if he did, how is Deacon following her around? The dude can’t afford track lighting let alone a car.

As Days of Our Lives moves to Peacock, why not take a look at our guide to who’s who — not to mention who’s doing what to whom — in Salem? You might even see a few surprisingly familiar faces… 

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