Soapbox

Bold & Beautiful Resurrected Sheila, But Will It Let Her Kill a Forrester?

B&B sheila mashup forresters

Credit: Howard Wise/JPI (3); D Guignebourg/JPI

Soaps aren’t particularly well known for respecting their audiences these days, so kudos to Bold & Beautiful for basically saying, “Yeah, nobody out there thinks Sheila’s dead. Let’s not drag this out.” Meanwhile, the Thomas/Hope story is already starting to feel repetitive, and we’ve got a few new reasons to do shots for our soap opera drinking game. We’ve got a lot to get to, so let’s dive in! 

Wigged Out

I’m sure there was a viewer in Tortilla Flats, Arizona (population: 6) who was stunned, positively stunned, when Deacon realized that he’d just boinked Sheila. But the rest of us recognized the “redhead” the moment she sashayed into Il Giardino wearing a wig I’m pretty sure was the trashy cousin of the one Krista Allen donned for her debut on the show.

Taylor Sheila offer B&B

“Taylor, do you know if they sell that wig in red? Oh, I’m sorry, are we not supposed to acknowledge it’s a wig? My bad!”

Credit: Howard Wise/JPI

I love Deacon, but was kinda creeped out by the constant “Daddy” references… although it paid off in spades when Sheila, in turn, uttered, “Mama’s back!” Meanwhile, you know how you can tell she’s a total psychopath (I mean, aside from all the things she’s done)? Who else could cut off their own toe and be walking around a day or two later! I guess some people are just better with pain than others. My mom got her ears pierced and spent three days in bed.

We’re just counting down now to the moment when the Forrester family is “reunited” with Sheila. I can’t hope she goes old school, inviting them all to a party where she reveals herself as a gun-toting guest of honor, threatening to kill one (or all) of them as she spirals into madness.

Or that she gets pregnant by Deacon. Either/or. I’m easy!

Family Ties

We’re about a week into the “Who should raise Douglas?” saga and frankly, I’m over it. I’m not sure how Hope and Brooke think keeping the boy away from his dad is a good look for them. Yes, it was awesome of Hope and Liam to step in and help when Thomas needed it, but did they really think they could just… keep his son forever?

Thomas Hope talk B&B

“Hope, I’m pretty sure ‘No takesies backsies’ isn’t actually a legal defense.”

Credit: CBS screenshot

Hope keeps saying that Thomas can spend “as much time as he wants” with Douglas, and yet when Thomas suggested that he and his son have a sleepover at Eric’s — sort of a test-run, if you will — she acted as if he’d announced plans to take the kid to Mexico and begin calling him by another name.

Meanwhile, although it feels as if Thomas should have his own place by now — I mean, why is a Forrester heir couch surfing? — he should get total props for wanting to live with grandpa. That shows he’s not taking his responsibility as a parent lightly and has a support system in place.

Yes, yes, Thomas kinda sorta killed Emma, faked his own death, haunted Douglas and blew up Rick’s car, but if everybody else on this show gets to ignore their past mistakes, shouldn’t he be able to as well?

The L Word

I’ve finally realized what Ridge’s problem is: He doesn’t actually understand the meaning of the word “love.” How else to explain that moments after telling Brooke he loves her more than anything, he was over at Taylor’s place starring in the new sitcom Make Room for Daddy, complete with cutesy looks at his ex and bouncy background music?

ridge and brooke talk taylor bb

You can almost hear Ridge thinking, “Don’t call her Taylor, don’t call her Taylor… “

Credit: CBS screenshot

We’re clearly supposed to think the Taylor/Ridge stuff is adorable, and it would be… had he not just returned to Brooke and declared his love for her. Or had we not been down this road a thousand times. Or were Taylor not a World Renowned Psychiatrist (patent pending) who should know better. Or were we not watching Steffy and her mom gleefully plot the end of someone else’s marriage.

“I’m done being passive and minding my manners,” declared Taylor, indicating that we can expect to see her go to battle with Ridge. But come on… does anybody out there really want to see that? Wouldn’t it be far more interesting to see Taylor declare herself done with Ridge and instead say, “I’m done being treated like a second-class citizen. I’m going to see what and who else is out there!”

And Steffy, having put Liam behind her and found true love with Finn, should be cheering her on every damn step of the way.

Drink, Drank, Drunk

Sheila toe B&B

Not since Passions left the airwaves has any soap featured such endlessly repetitive dialogue as Bold & Beautiful. With that in mind, here are a few new entries for our soap opera drinking game. You know the rules: Chug every time one of these things happen:

• Steffy talks about how fleeting life can be.

• Someone talks about the fact that they’ve gotten rid of all the extra security, clearing the way for Sheila’s next attack.

• The show cuts to Taylor and Ridge’s kiss in Monaco.

• Sheila’s toe is mentioned. Double shot if it’s shown.

Random Thoughts

Bill Li B&B

“I’d just as soon not go to Il Giardino or that seafood restaurant on the wharf. Bad memories at both… “

Credit: CBS screenshot

• The jury — or at least the one that lives in my head — is still out on Bill and Li. I think there’s a lot of potential there, and I love the actors. But I need them to stop talking about how uncharacteristic it is of Bill to have saved someone (which is totally true) and go on a date.

• I never could have imagined that we’d flash back to Taylor/Ridge’s kiss in Monaco more often than Steffy/Finn’s reunion, but here we are.

• For a show that doesn’t do “back-from-the-dead” as routinely as other soaps (I’m lookin’ at you, Days of Our Lives), Bold & Beautiful has played that card three times in recent weeks… and all in the same storyline! Might be time to shelf that particular trick for a while.

• Hearing everybody talk about how important it is for Douglas to understand his place in the Forrester family got me thinking. Shouldn’t Bill, who is all about his sons and the Spencer name, be showing more interest in Douglas, who is, after all, Caroline’s son?

Diving into a soap you’ve never watched before can be tough… so check out our beginner’s guide to all things General Hospital to find out who does what to (and with) whom in Port Charles! 

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