Bold & Beautiful’s Biggest Secret Is About to Explode — Plus, Bring On Dark Finn!

Credit: Howard Wise/JPI (3)

Get ready, because The Bold and the Beautiful is about to do what it does best. Carter and Quinn’s not-so-well-kept secret is thisclose to coming out, which means there will be big confrontations and emotion-filled explosions… although probably very few long-term consequences. How do we know the truth bomb is ready to explode? Read on, and I’ll explain… 

Happily Never After

This soap is many things, but subtle ain’t one of them. (And for once, I’m not even talking about the crazy outfits the cast has been sporting of late.) So when it cut from Eric and Quinn happily slurping martinis at the mansion to Zoe gleefully accepting Carter’s proposal, it could only mean one thing: These happy couples are about to have the rug ripped out from beneath them.

More: What Paris does next will change everything

On Bold & Beautiful, couples are only happy in one of two situations. Either they’re about to be shuffled to the backburner until another crisis comes along (ala Ridge and Brooke’s current status) or everything’s about to blow up in their faces. This show really doesn’t do happy (or unhappy) mediums. If this soap were an E-mail, it would BE TYPED IN ALL CAPS.

Take The Shortcut

When given the choice between having a couple work out their issues and prove themselves worthy of one another’s love or simply rushing into one another’s arms, you know which route this show will take every time. And it’s usually because a plot twist is just around the corner.

Did Liam actually do anything to earn Hope’s forgiveness? Of course not. But him being hauled off to jail for running down PDV (Poor, Dead Vinny) has no emotional weight to it unless he is being ripped from the bosom of his family. Similarly, Carter and Quinn’s secret coming to light can only have the maximum impact if they’ve reunited with Zoe and Eric, respectively.

What I’ve never really understood is why the show is in such a hurry. The frenetic pace at which couples reunite doesn’t allow for viewers to be invested because ultimately, the relationships are terribly shallow. And then there’s the consequences… or lack thereof.

Movin’ Right Along

I’ve written before about the fact that Bold & Beautiful characters don’t remember their own history. Of course, there’s no reason for them to because unlike on other soaps, their actions have no real longterm impact. They say that those who don’t remember the past are doomed to repeat it, and these folks prove that on a pretty regular basis.

More: Watch out, Liam, Thomas is gunning for you! 

If Hope remembered how many times Liam had hurt her by turning to Steffy, there’s no way she’d have taken him back after this latest infidelity. Ridge and Carter have had several conversations about the COO’s relationship with Shauna, never once addressing the fact that she was briefly married to the designer. The same dynamic plays out over (Katie forgiving Bill) and over (Ridge forgiving Brooke and vice versa).

These people don’t even learn from recent mistakes. On Wednesday, Shauna and Quinn’s conversation was overheard by Paris. And of course, they couldn’t speak in code. In fact, their chat could only be called Soap Speak, which is specifically designed to forward plot.

“Eric can never find out,” declared Quinn. “Eric can never know that the woman in Carter’s bed wasn’t you, but his own wife!”

Who talks like that?

Yet despite being busted by Paris, Shauna ended the week by standing in the Forrester living room with zero expectation of privacy and declaring, “She knows I wasn’t the one having an affair with Carter… that it was you!”

I mean, the least these people could do is speak in pig Latin!

Coming Up…

While we had very little movement in the Liam story this week, he’ll at least get another visitor when Steffy swings by the jail to see her ex. Jacqueline MacInnes Wood hasn’t had a whole lot to do since she (and Steffy) returned to the canvas, but it feels like they’re starting to lay the groundwork for what’s to come.

During my recent chat with the new mom, Wood agreed that Steffy and Liam are more than a little co-dependent. “Sometimes,” she admitted, “I just want to shake her!” While discussing Steffy and Finn’s relationship, the Emmy nominee admitted that she’s as curious about the guy’s past as the rest of us. “He does sort of seem too good to be true, doesn’t he?”

Which makes me think that Steffy’s inability to stay away from Liam as he faces this latest challenge could lead to some interesting story down the road. Finn’s been ridiculously understanding where his soon-to-be-wife’s connection with Liam is concerned, but there  might be some dark emotions brewing just beneath the surface.

“Wouldn’t that be kinda fun?” says Wood. (Look for more of our conversation next week!)

Random Thoughts

• Anybody else find it odd that we got scenes of Justin visiting Liam… but not Bill? For that matter, shouldn’t Katie have swung by the jail? Couldn’t we at least have had scenes with Will reacting to news of his dad’s arrest? Wyatt was borderline obsessed with finding out what was going on between his father and brother, yet hasn’t carved out time to visit either of them.

More: Fans react to the show’s latest fashions

• Zoe was working my last nerve this week by repeatedly talking about how it “scared her” that Carter fell into bed with Shauna (or so she believes) so quickly. Girl, the two of you were — as Friends’ Ross loved to remind Rachel — on a break! And you would have happily hit the sheets with Zende while you were engaged to Carter. So please take a seat. On second thought, take all of ’em.

• It was one thing when Thomas lamented the death of his best friend. Now, however, everyone except Bill seems to have sainted the test-swapping drug dealer. And when Bill honestly points out that the guy was a criminal, it’s done in such a way that we’re supposed to think of the Spencer patriarch as the bad guy. Sure, leaving Vinny on the side of the road was cold, but that doesn’t really invalidate Bill’s point that Thomas’ pal wasn’t exactly worthy of the whitewashing he’s now receiving!

Now that I’ve gotten all that off my chest, why don’t you hit the comments section below to share your thoughts on this week’s high and low points? And if you want to absolutely guarantee that you head into the weekend with a massive smile on your face, check out this photo gallery in which we’ve captured some of daytime’s most adorable kids. (Yes, Katie and Bill’s son makes the cut, as do several other past and current Bold & Beautiful moppets!)