Bold & Beautiful’s Paternity-Test Twist Was a Shocker, But It Was Also the Only Game in Town — Plus, the Soap’s Ted Lasso Connection

Credit: Howard Wise/JPI

This week’s episodes of The Bold and the Beautiful managed to be both plodding and fast-paced at the exact same time. I know, I know, that sounds impossible, but read on, and I’ll explain exactly how they pulled it off. We’ll also look at the unexpected connection between the soap and my new favorite show, Ted Lasso. And if that doesn’t make you want to read on, nothing will… so let’s do this! 

Simple Math

It was only last week that Bold & Beautiful started dropping elephant-sized hints that Vinny might have swapped Steffy’s paternity-test results. There was absolutely, positively nothing subtle about the way they played the reveal, with Vinny all but looking at the camera and giving us a “You get what I’m sayin’ here, right?” wink.

This week, Thomas somehow (yes, that’s sarcasm) put the pieces together after his buddy said — and I’m only slightly paraphrasing here — “Sometimes, ya gotta nudge things… well, I gotta get back to the lab!” Then he and Vinny took turns saying aloud things they really shouldn’t in very public places. Heck, Thomas even left a voicemail for Vinny in which he flat-out asked “Did you change the test results?” Vinny then listened to said voicemail — on speakerphone — in the lab without a care in the world that someone might overhear and can his butt.

For his part, Thomas went from making these calls in his sister’s office (into which she of course walked) and in the showroom (into which Paris of course walked). How many times do you have to have your hush-hush conversation almost overheard before you think to yourself, “I should really either go somewhere private or stop using highly incriminating language in these calls”?

More: Thomas’ next move could be a biggie

Meanwhile, although Thomas figured things out quickly, that was the only real plot movement as everyone around him had the same conversations they’ve been having for weeks now. Even the Finn/Liam confrontation had a been there/heard this feel, given that it was more of Finn saying “Stay away from Steffy” and Liam apologizing for the pain he’d caused everyone.

I’m Sorry… Say What?

I had to hit rewind and make sure I’d heard correctly when Finn asked Steffy of her unborn child, “Am I ever going to be able to look at that kid and think about how it’s not mine?”

Finn has pulled a major Liam — meaning he’s flip-flopped repeatedly — where his stance on Steffy’s baby is concerned. For weeks, he vowed that no matter who turned out to be the father, he planned to raise the child as his own. That changed the moment he found out the tot-to-be is (supposedly) Liam’s.

More: Remembering a daytime trailblazer

Now, it’s totally understandable that both Finn and Hope were sort of viewing the situation through rose-colored glasses which were yanked off their faces and crushed beneath reality’s heel by the results. But if Finn thinks for one second that’s the attitude he’s going to have toward the baby, he should just walk away right now. Because no child deserves to be raised in an environment where they are thought of as “other” based on a circumstance over which they had no control.

Be a Goldfish

Let’s talk about Ted Lasso for a second. If you’re not watching the sweet/funny/heartbreaking/romantic Apple TV+ show, you really should be. What does this have to do with Bold & Beautiful, you’re asking yourself? Everything, and not only because it is a fantastically sudsy rom-com with the kind of well-drawn characters and emotionally-involving tales that, frankly, we don’t see much of on daytime.

But as usual, I digress.

In the first episode, our hero asks someone if they know what the happiest animal on the planet is. The answer? A goldfish, because it has a 10-second memory, thus never dwells on its past mistakes.

More: Is another crossover in the works?

Sound familiar? Because to me, that sounds like just about every character on the Bold & Beautiful canvas. They forget past mistakes, relationships and even dialogue, when it’s convenient. How else to explain Wyatt begging Katie to take his dad back without having even the tiniest bit of awkwardness, given that she’s his ex-girlfriend? Or that when Hope drags Steffy — or vice versa — for yet again sleeping with the man who ping-pongs between them, the one not being trashed doesn’t bring up the other’s past offenses?

For fans who know the history — some of which only unfolded a few short months ago — it’s downright maddening. But more importantly, it’s a major missed opportunity when it comes to the show’s scripting. Viewers love nothing more than when scribes not only remember the history of a soap but use it. After any dust-up between Steffy and Hope, head to Twitter, and you will see each character’s respective fans explaining why their fave has the moral high ground.

They are, it goes without saying, conversations which should be happening on the actual show.

Random Thoughts

* Anybody else dying to know Vinny’s backstory? We’ve been told that he and Thomas have been friends since childhood, and he’s in enough with the Forrester family that he feels comfy calling Eric “Mr. F.” But we know next to nothing about the character. How did he and Thomas become friends? I have so many questions.

More: Is this the real reason Vinny switched the tests?

• This was another week where we got no real B plot to speak of. Sure, there was some throw-away Bill/Katie stuff, but given that his whole plan to win her back seems to involve asking their family members to champion his cause, it’s not really much of a storyline.

* How invested are we supposed to be in the Carter/Zoe/Zende/Paris story when the show completely dropped it just as it was heating up? When Paris put in an appearance late in the week, it was only so she could talk about Hope and Liam’s situation. Wouldn’t it have been nice if Hope (or Katie, who was also in the room) had at least pretended to give a crap about Paris’ personal life? Again, if they don’t care, why should we?

Before hitting the comments with your take on this week’s episodes, take a gander at our brand-new photo gallery, in which we rank a closet full of the gorgeous red-carpet looks that Jacqueline MacInnes Wood (Steffy) has rocked.