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Killer Mannequins, Battling Besties and a Trip Named Paris
Thomas may be talking to a mannequin, but we’re starting to think The Bold and the Beautiful’s Liam is the one who really needs a bit of help. This week, both men were acting a little unbalanced, Zoe’s sister lit up every room she entered, battle lines were drawn in the Forrester living room, and one couple decided they were gonna just chillax on the back burner. Ready to do a deep dive on the week that was? Read on, my friends!
Where’s the Top, ‘Cause We’re Going Over It
So when Liam burst through the door to find that Thomas had been hanging out with Fauxpe, I thought, “Well, that’s it. This story is over.” But then I read the spoilers for what’s coming up and breathed a big ol’ sigh of relief, because this journey into madness continues with Hope meeting her doppelgänger and, apparently, Thomas having a dinner date with the most interesting piece of plastic since that episode of The Twilight Zone where the woman trapped in a department store slowly comes to the realization that she’s a mannequin.
So of course, Thomas quickly covered by saying that he’d used the mannequin as a “design prop” — not that Liam was buying it for a minute. But that quick thinking on Thomas’ part allows the story to move to the next phase, and when it comes to the never-ending nature of a soap opera, that’s always the goal.
I’m sure there will come a point at which the entire tone of my weekly columns changes, and I start saying, “Ugh, enough with this story.” But we definitely have not reached that point yet. Why? Because the tall tale is doing exactly what a good soap story should and few modern ones are able to: It’s keeping me coming back not out of habit but because I honestly have no clue where it’s going and can’t wait to see.
Like all of you, we here at Soaps.com love playing the “If I wrote the show, this is how things would go” game. And because we’ve got pretty much the best jobs in the world, we get to share those ideas with all of you on a pretty regular basis (such as that time Charlie suggested Bold and Beautiful’s Shauna could make a few heads explode by chasing after Dollar Bill or, wilder still, Liam). Well, if I were penning the show right now, Liam would realize exactly what’s going on in Thomas’ apartment and say, “Dude, you’re one sick puppy. But if this keeps you away from my wife, have at it.”
Of course, Thomas would sink deeper and deeper into his delusion with no one but Liam any the wiser. When finally the truth came to light — and we learned that the whole situation had been triggered by a brain tumor — everyone (including Hope) would be furious upon realizing that by keeping quiet, Liam had actually put Thomas’ life in danger.
How will things really unfold? Who knows — especially now that the devil doll has begun urging Thomas to kill Liam. But they have my attention, and that’s what matters.
Obsessed, Party of Two? Your Table is Ready
Meanwhile, I had to laugh when Liam suggested that Thomas was unbalanced enough that weekly calls to mom Taylor probably weren’t cutting it. But as Hope’s hubby got increasingly worked up over his romantic rival, I began wondering if Taylor offered friends-and-family rates for which Liam might qualify.
When I suggested as much on Twitter, a few folks responded that Liam was clearly right, what with Thomas canoodling with a doll and all. But what’s important to remember here is that while we know what’s going on over at Thomas’ apartment, Liam doesn’t — or at least didn’t at the time. As soap fans, we often forget that we are omniscient creatures. We see all and know all as opposed to those foolish mortals stumbling about with no clue as to the dark plots being hatched and salacious secrets being kept by their friends and neighbors.
But if you take away that knowledge, Liam’s behavior seems at least as questionable as Thomas’. Liam is like that guy at a party who only has one joke and tells it to anyone who crosses his path. “Hey, did you hear the one about the designer who is obsessed with my wife?”
Meet the New Girl
Well, hello, Paris Buckingham. Aren’t you a breath of fresh air? There’s no denying that soap newbie Diamond White was a smidgen stiff that first day. But she was also radiant, the kind of presence you can’t help but be drawn to. By the time she was fanning herself after having exchanged a bit of playful banter with Zende, I was all in.
Overnight, I went from bored by the Zende/Zoe/Carter triangle (as we discussed last week) to intrigued by the idea of Paris/Zende/Zoe. I feel like maybe I should apologize to poor Carter, but let’s face it… there was literally nobody in the audience thinking he had a shot of winding up with the girl in that scenario. I like Carter and love portrayer Lawrence Saint-Victor, but his relationship with Zoe has come off as borderline pathetic — and it’s a really, really friendly border — thanks to her obvious feelings for Zende.
Let the Games Begin
I will never, ever get tired of someone standing in the Forrester living room looking up at a portrait. It can be theirs or someone else’s. They can be wistfully dreaming of their own hanging in its place or simply admiring their own visage. Doesn’t matter, I love it. Apparently, I want to live in a world where this is a thing people do. I’m not saying I secretly yearn for my own portrait, but if you’re still shopping for my Christmas gift…
Which brings me to the Shauna/Quinn rivalry. Why Quinn moved out of that house, I’ll never understand. As Charlie argued earlier this week, all Quinn had to do was bat her eyes at Eric and he’d have let her stay in one of the mansion’s wings. The guy defied his entire family to make her his wife, after all. But Quinn’s out, Shauna’s in, and despite this being one of those stories you can see coming a mile away, I’m looking forward to it because for my money, two schemers are better than one, especially when pitted against one another.
As for Brooke and Ridge, they’ve apparently decided to live out their days lounging around their well-appointed bedroom, talking about their big-d Destiny. Because that’s what happens when you rush what could have been a fun story lasting years in favor of an instareunion, especially on this show. I’ve often said the whole “married equals boring” argument is meritless (or at least should be), but this show is the exception to the rule. Ridge and his wife may not emerge from their bedchambers until Felicia’s son returns SORAS’d and ready to be seduced by Aunt Brooke.
• You know who could totally help Carter move on when his heart is inevitably broken? Maya. Just puttin’ it out there into the universe…
• Tell me that when Paris said of Xende, “I just met the guy, Zoe, I’m not going to pick out my wedding bouquet,” you didn’t immediately think, “Give it three weeks.” After all, we know how quickly this show moves when it comes to relationships.
• Why is Thomas still living in that crappy little apartment? Back when Sheila Carter was scrimping and saving to pay to have her portrait painted so it could one day hang above the Forrester fireplace (dream big, girl!), the skeezy hotel room she was staying in was nicer.
• I’m willing to bet that a month from now, Paris will have abandoned social work and her talk about feeling like she’s making a difference in the world so she can push Zoe off the runway.
Before hitting the comments with your thoughts on this week’s episodes, check out this gallery of the most memorable triangles to ever play out on The Bold and the Beautiful.