carter mashup women
Credit: Howard Wise/JPI (4)

Nope. We’re all out of sympathy for Mr. Lonelyhearts.

There was a time — a long time, even — when The Bold and the Beautiful had us feeling bad for Carter. There he was, handsome and earnest, stout of heart and ripped of ab. Yet he couldn’t seem to get an “other” to remain “significant.”

“How can this be?!?” we wondered.

Carter pullup work out B&B

“Maybe that one ab just isn’t popping enough?”

Credit: Howard Wise/JPI

It was positively crushing to think that he was destined to be “always the wedding officiant, never the groom.” Lately, though, we’re significantly less crushed by that possibility. In fact, we’ve started to feel like that’s the fate that he deserves.

“How can this be?!?” you ask.

If you’ve been watching the same show that we have, you already know. Carter has revealed that for all his muscles — so… many… muscles — he lacks a spine. What guy is going to let his girlfriend’s mother tell him to his face that he isn’t as good a match for her as the aimless playboy who cheated on his ex-wife? Not an appealing guy, that’s for sure.

Carter confession B&B

The words “Take all the seats, lady” got stuck in Carter’s throat.

Credit: CBS screenshot

More: What’s with this soap’s major plot holes? 

There is a sum total of zero pushback in Carter. Grace made a stink, and boom, he was all, “Yeah, Paris, you should say yes if Zende proposes.” (Facepalm.) That was when it really hit us. Has Carter stood up for himself once since yelling at Zoe over her secret pursuit of Zende? Did he fight for Quinn or just roll over and let go what they had when she decided to reunite with Eric?

Where’s Carter’s passion? His commitment? How are we supposed to invest in his relationship with Paris — or any relationship of his — when he himself holds onto his lovers as tightly as a weak handshake?

Katie, Carter hold hands B&B

“You have unusually good posture for someone missing a spine.”

Credit: Howard Wise/JPI

More: The character who makes the least sense is…

We suspect that the show intends for us to see Carter as such a do-right guy that he’s willing to break his own heart to secure Paris’ future. But the story makes so little sense that all it’s done is point out a pattern of behavior on his part that is anything but appealing. If Carter is too lily-livered to note to Grace that he is an incredibly successful businessman and his halo is no more tarnished than any of the Forresters’ are, he’s less a man than a shell of one. And who wants that?

What do you think, Bold & Beautiful fans? Have we all been too distracted by Carter’s pecs to realize that he doesn’t have a spine? On your way to the comments, stop off at the below photo gallery, a collection of then-and-wow photos of stars of a much-missed soap.