Annika Noelle loss B&B
Credit: Howard Wise/JPI

“If there is one thing I’ve gained from my loss, it is a voice I’m no longer afraid to use.”

Bold & Beautiful’s Annika Noelle poured her heart and soul into her Daytime Emmy-nominated performance as Hope Logan during the heart-breaking Baby Beth storyline, which involved the character being told her baby had died during childbirth. Even without any personal experience to draw on, it was very difficult for the actress, who explained in an essay in her own words in Glamor, “the months of grief on-camera… slowly started to seep into my life off-camera.”

At that time, Noelle had no idea how shockingly close her fictional life would come to parallel her real-life. She mused, “It left a psychological mark that was difficult for me to recover from…if only I knew what cruel irony lay ahead.”

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In her story, Noelle detailed how she became pregnant after the blockbuster storyline and the excitement she and her fiancé experienced at the prospect of becoming first-time parents. However, in a devastating turn of events, they “lost her at ten weeks.”

After a time, they tried again, but that pregnancy “unraveled into sorrow and heartache as well. We lost him at 8 weeks. And all the while, I was filming.”

Noelle told no one at the Bold & Beautiful set, a decision she expressed some regret over. She explained, “The secret was isolating, yet the shame was debilitating. I felt like I had failed at something that should be easy.”

We can’t imagine the strength required to continue to work through all of this without letting on to anyone about her heartbreak and pain. Noelle eventually began opening up, and in time, emerged from the experience as something of a warrior. “If there is one thing I’ve gained from my loss, it is a voice I’m no longer afraid to use.”

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Known for being very private, when it comes to the subject of the female experience, Noelle plans to keep talking and urged others to share openly as well. “Our voices need to be heard. It is a disservice to keep the experience of women in the shadows of silence.”

Our hearts go out to Annika Noelle and her fiancé for the losses they suffered and we applaud her for sharing her story so that others might not feel so alone.

Feel free to share in the comment space, and if you like, take a look back on Noelle’s character Hope Logan thought the years in the photo gallery below.