Credit: Baby switcher! (Soaps.com)

Repeat after me. Soaps aren’t reality!

Soaps.com thought it was time for a little May ‘psychotherapy’ – and we use this term rather loosely. In a recent survey, we asked our readers a few questions in order to find out how many of them were living in a soap opera world as opposed to reality. You’ll be surprised at the zany results. Don’t forget to read our suggestions for each!

“Soaps VS Reality” survey results…

When asked, “Would you help your friend with a baby switch?”

59% of Soaps.com readers said, “I wouldn’t be friends with such a psycho.”
29% said, “No, I’m no Nicole Walker. I’d call the po-po on my friend.”
5% said, “Only if I hate the witch whose baby we’re switching!”
3% said, “I’m still soul searching…”
2% said, “Yes, I’m a loyal friend and would do anything for my friend.”

As you can see, mostly, our readers are sane and should be fine with little to no therapy. A very small percentage might benefit from deep intensive therapy!

We asked, “You know a cheating spouse. Is blackmail the course of action?”

55% say, “Hell no. It’s none of my bees wax no matter who it’s about!”
21% say, “No, I’m no Scott Chandler or Matthew Buchanan.”
19% say, “Shh! It depends on who it is!”
3% say, “Yes, baby needs some new bling!”
1% say, “Yes, give me a shot at the hottie or the secret’s out!”

While most of our readers don’t want to get involved in what goes on behind closed doors to that extent, we figure a small percentage watch too much All My Children or General Hospital!

We asked, “Would you help your BFF switch embryos with somebody else?”

74% say, “No. I live in reality, thanks!”
16% say, “No and I’d kick her soapy self to the curb.”
6% say, “Only if she paid me handsomely would I.”
2% says, “Sure. Just for kicks, in fact!”
1% say, “Heck, I’d do it behind my BFF’s back!”

The majority of our readers who answered this question live in reality. A few others, and you naughty birds know who you are, need to give us your BFF’s phone number, because we’ve got a few warnings to send out!

We asked, “Your frenemy’s preggers. Ever any reason to push her down the stairs?”

88% said, “What? No! I live in reality, not in a fictional land!”
8% said, “Only if she’s preggers with my man’s kid.”
1% said, “Yeah, she does anything I don’t like and witch is going tumbling.”
1% said, “No, but I’d steal the baby after it was born!”

While almost all who answered this question are decent people who don’t live in a world of make believe, we had to worry a little about the rest of the voters who might want to cut back on the soaps, because you’re getting a little scary!

We asked, “Would you get surgery to alter your looks & identity to become somebody you hate?”

63% say, “I can’t even believe that you’d ask me this!! I’m sane!!”
29% said, “No, I’m no psychotic Patty Williams or Sara Smythe!”
2% said, “Yeah, if they were really good lookin’. And I’d kidnap them.”
2% said, “Yes, I’d do what I needed to do. Have a problem with that?”
2% said, “Baby, I already have. Muhahahahaha!” (evil laugh)

We’re thrilled that most people are quite rational who answered this one, but we think we’re going to need a couple of priests to perform an exorcism in order to pull some of you out of soap opera world!

We asked, “Would you date your step-brother or half-uncle?”