Timmy and his Martimmy (Soaps.com)

Two things happened that made me write this article. The first was that I recently realized that Tabitha and Endora never actually make their own food, let alone shop for it. Apparently I wasn’t the only person never to notice this because several people have pointed it out to me. This got me thinking about food on the show and, perhaps coincidentally, posters on the board have been talking about it too.

There have actually been quite a few important food related events on the show, although they are generally of a macabre nature. I don’t think I’ll ever look at a wedding cake the same way again after a dead JT Cornell was dug out of one in a pair of bra and panties. Nor will soup taste quite the same since Siren the mermaid made her sex potion soup from…um I don’t have a euphemism for it, but it certainly drove Sam and Rebecca wild when they accidentally ate it. Then there was the guacamole Theresa made to poison Alistair (which Ethan ate and almost killed him), the Mexican meal that Pilar cooked with her children for Luis while he was on death row and the giant wild turkeys which Endora conjured up on Thanksgiving.

More specifically, there are a series of recipes which were actually created especially for the show and made famous by its characters. The Martimmy, created by the doll who turned into a little boy, are still enjoyed by Tabitha, although no one else seems to be able to drink them without becoming insanely drunk (even Julian). And who can forget that Grace Bennett was famous for her tomato soup cake, which was actually a real dish that has existed for several generations in America. Apparently the doomed poetess Sylvia Plath was a huge fan of tomato soup cake, and often made them in fits of depression. It’s not quite as appalling as it sounds. It’s really just a cheap and slightly eccentric spice cake, not nearly as eccentric as other local desserts such as vinegar pie.

Now, if you’ve never actually tried these recipes, you are probably a saner person than I am. If you are feeling adventurous, however, you can give them a shot. I do not encourage you to drink your Martimmy, or Martimi, depending on how cosmopolitan you feel about it, before eating tomato cake. You may wish to do so afterwards to erase the taste or the memory of it. These recipes come from an official press release the show put out a few years ago. You can find variations around the web and invent some of your own to suit your taste.

Tomato Soup Cake
2 cups flour
1 cup sugar
4 teaspoons baking powder
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoons allspice
1 teaspoon cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon ground cloves
1 can (10 ounces) condensed tomato soup
1/2 cup butter
2 eggs
1/4 cup milk
Pinch of nutmeg
Pinch of salt

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

Grease and flour two 8-inch cake pans. Pour dry ingredients into a large mixing bowl. Add soup and butter to mix, beating them at low speed for approximately two minutes. Add eggs and milk. Beat mixture until well blended, being sure to scrape the sides of the bowl as needed. Pour into pans and bake 35-40 minutes. Let stand in pans 10 minutes then turn out onto rack to cool.

Cream cheese frosting is recommended for the cake, but you could also use a sugar glaze. For the cream cheese frosting, simply combine 8 ounces of soft cream cheese with 1 tablespoon milk and a teaspoon of vanilla extract. Gradually add 1 pound of sifted confectioners sugar and beat until smooth.