With Death Come Regrets

Carly is thrilled to see Jax and pull him into her arms. "Wait a minuteyou slept with Sonny?" Jax reacts to the comment she made when she threw open the door. Carly doesn't even bother to deny it; she comes right out and admits that she did. Then, she fumbles around and explains about the Metro Court and the hostage situation and how for twelve hours she thought that she as going to die, etc. She explains some of the things that she had to deal with while in there, like operating on Robin with a paring knife and fishing line. But Jax heard none of it. "So you slept with Sonny," he stated as if it makes all the sense in the world.

"Mom, I was holding his hand and his heart just stopped," Emily explains to Monica outside of Alan's hospital room. Edward says that Alan shouldn't be alone, so that's when Emily tells them that Jason has arrived and is sitting with Alan. Monica is relieved to hear that Jason made it back in time, but Emily explains that Jason arrived moments after Alan died. Monica feels badly that she sent Jason away to clean himself up first. Edward says that he set a horrible example as a father, it's no wonder his sons weren't close to him.

Dr. Russell goes into Alan's room and tells Jason that no one is allowed in the room but family. "I'm his son," Jason is able to say after some consideration. Dr. Russell explains that Alan suffered several massive coronaries during the hostage situation. He says that Alan was unconscious when he suffered his final heart attack a few minutes ago. When Jason is alone again with Alan, he tells him, "I was coming back to see you. It's what you wanted all alongyou wanted me to come back to you. I didn't make it in time." Jason says that he realized that he was just wasting time trying to kill the man who took the hostages and caused Alan's heart attack, so he let him go. "He said that we only get one father." He chokes back tears when he realizes that Alan was his. "And when you needed me I wasn't here." Then, he tells Alan that Elizabeth is carrying his baby. He says that he would give his life for his baby. Now he realizes that's how Alan must have felt all these years about him. Jason suddenly realizes that all Alan ever wanted was for him to be happy. He reaches out and puts his hand on top of his father's and apologizes for not hearing him until now when it's too late. "I know that you love me."

Lucky and Liz are on Laura's front porch. Liz tells him that they have a chance to try again and that she forgives and loves him. Lucky makes sure that it's just not pity that's making her commit to him again. He assures her that she needn't live in fear of a relapse on his part because he meant his promise that he made to Laura. Liz is in tears when she tells Lucky that Luke said that forgiveness has the power to change everything. She explains to Lucky that years ago he made her want to live again and he's still that same person inside. Lucky promises to give her the best of himself and love both kids with all of his heart.

Carly explains to Jax that she expected to be tortured and shot and yes, she slept with Sonny. She slyly is able to turn it around on Jax by saying how angry she's been that she never once heard from him while he was gone. She told him that she's been waiting every day for him to come home. Jax asks where her engagement ring is, and she tells him that the hostages took it. Then she asks him to explain where he's been. He says he was in Siberia trying to free Jerry from the Russian mafia. But at least he didn't sleep with anyone, he points out, and "emotional duress is not an excuse for infidelity." She tells him that it's not infidelity when the person you sleep with is your husband. He asks how in the world she came to marry Sonny? He doesn't want to hear her story about protecting him from going to prison for shooting Lorenzo. Jax reminded her (for the millionth time) that he doesn't want to be the man who fills the space between her marriages to Sonny. Just as he is getting ready to leave, Michael and Morgan come in and are elated to see him. He admits that he missed them, all, very much. He tells them that their presents are in the back seat of the car. As Michael heads for the door, he turns and tells Jax that his mom only married their dad because he was in trouble.

At the hospital, the Q family is reacting to Alan's death. Monica tells Edward that she had the chance to say everything she needed to and Alan and she felt closer than they had in years. Dillon and Alice show up and Alice takes Monica in her arms for a giant bear hug. Dillon sits with Tracy and listens to her talk about how she and her brother used to watch each other's back. Tracy sadly said, "He was the one person who knew what it was like to grow up in this family and I'm scared to live without him." Dillon is touched to hear this side of their relationship. She makes Dillon laugh a little when she recounted her pigtails and how Alan always teased her about them. She said that they never, ever, said "I love you" to each other. Tracy cries and says she'll never make the same mistake again, so she makes Dillon look at her and listen as she says, "I love you will all of my heart. You are a magnificent son." She takes a crying Dillon in her arms and cradles him.

Jason comes out of Alan's room and sees a tearful Skye. She's glad to hear that the daughter Alan raised was with him when he died -- instead of her. She feels badly for letting him go into the Metro Court knowing that there was a dangerous shipment in there. "Did you want Alan to die?" Jason asked. When she told him of course not, Jason tells her that she's not to blame. They both agree that they wish they had done everything differently. Skye walks away, and then Edward joins Jason. He assures Jason that Alan loved him deeply, but he wanted his son to live his dreams rather than his own. Edward shares that he struggled with Alan as much as Alan struggled with Jason. Edward says the he hopes Jason learns from their mistakes when he's a parent. Never assume that they know you love them, the sad old man says as he turns to leave. Emily finds Jason and he tells her how sorry he is that he didn't make it back in time. Emily explains that Alan wasn't scared or in pain. She tells Jason that Alan loved them all. Then Nikolas finds Emily and she cries about how safe and loved her dad always made her feel.
The nurses have already pulled the sheet over Alan's head, but Monica asks for a minute alone with him. She tells him that she needed to see him one more time to realize that he's gone. She pulls the sheet down and tearfully kisses his forehead. She tells him that she has always loved him with all of her heart.

At Carly's house, the boys have opened their gifts and run off. Carly thanks Jax for the gifts. He tells her that accepts that Sonny probably manipulated the situation to his own end, but he's not sure if he wants to be in her life anymore. Then he leaves.

Skye finds Edward at home looking at photo albums of Alan. She tells him that she loved Alan very much. Then, she makes sure that Edward knows that that he raised a compassionate and loving person, no matter how many mistakes he thanks he made with Alan. She explains that she has wondered what she could possibly give Alan back for all the love he has shown her, and then realized that Alan would be worried about Edward. So, she has come to help him through his grief. Edward simply started talking about Alan as a little boy and how kids grow up and the fighting begins. He breaks down about his "boy" being gone and allows Skye to hold his hand.

Later on, Monica walks through the Q front door and remembers one of her many arguments with Alan. She hears an old debate of theirs"This is my house!" "I gave it to you when I was young and stupid." She walks into the study and carefully sits down. Jason steps out of the shadows and she tells him that she's fine. But, he comes in close and holds her anyway. That's when she loses it.

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