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Holy [Bleep]! General Hospital Just Put Every Other Soap on Blast — and Deservedly So
Thursday, February 16th, 2023
One twist after another left fans asking, “Wait, did that just happen?”
Ask haters of the soap genre, and they’ll joke about how you can easily skip a week or two and pick things up right where they left off. And we’ll admit that there are definitely times when that’s proven true for some of our favorite dramas. But General Hospital just proved that when a soap is firing on all cylinders, the phrase “miss a day, miss a lot” is far more applicable.
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And that’s particularly true if you missed the episode which aired on February 16. Already, General Hospital was rocking February sweeps. Curtis and Portia’s wedding — complete with gorgeous production values and a secret threatening to derail the entire affair — was downright swoonworthy. Ava had bonked Nikolas on the head and stashed his (supposedly) dead body in the stables. Ryan and Heather were plotting to escape and take secret daughter Esme with them.
More: Tragedy brings an alum back to General Hospital
And then, everything exploded in spectacular fashion. What started as a seemingly typical episode slowly cranked up the tension. Suddenly, in an almost casual fashion, Ryan revealed to an uncharacteristically terrified Esme that she is his daughter. Then, in quick succession, Trina found out Curtis might be her dad, Mac was knocked unconscious by Ryan, Sam and Dante found out the truth about Ryan’s connection to Esme, and — in the closing moment — Ava and Felicia opened Wyndemere’s front door to find their mutual stalker, Ryan, on the other side!
“Is it tomorrow yet?” the audience was left yelling in unison.
The episode was thrilling, compelling and everything that we want from a soap. And truth be told, it was everything we’re simply not getting from the other soaps. Bold & Beautiful gave us the wonderfully unexpected moment of Douglas asking to live with Steffy, but as with every other storyline on this soap (including the intriguing Bill/Sheila plot), it quickly devolved into various characters endlessly talking about the twist. Young & Restless has become a show revolving almost entirely around business, which isn’t necessarily a pleasure. And Days of Our Lives is revisiting the devil plot after “killing off” three fan favorites who nobody actually believes to be dead.
More: Go behind the scenes with Laura Wright (Carly)
To be clear, General Hospital is not a perfect show. It’s had pacing issues for years, struggles to land payoffs and has so struggled with romances that we can’t help but worry about current teen dream team Spencer and Trina. But what General Hospital is, on an almost daily basis, is entertaining. That seems obvious and basic — of course a show that wants us to tune in five days a week should be entertaining, right? Yet the other shows seem to have forgotten that, at least at the moment.
Like everything else, soaps are cyclical. When they are in rough periods, we, the fateful, continue to watch because we know they can do better. Six months from now, there’s every chance that General Hospital will be more miss than hit and we’ll be writing a similar article, but singing the praises of Bold & Beautiful or Days.
But right now, all we can do is say, “Bravo, General Hospital” while we wait with bated breath to see what happens next.
As General Hospital approaches its 60th anniversary, dive into our photo-filled flashback covering the history of Port Charles, including pics we’re willing to bet you’ve never seen before.
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Image: ABC/Courtesy of the Everett Collection
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<p>Just have a seat and fill out these forms, the doctors will be right with you. Also the mobsters, strumpets, cult leaders, martyrs and madmen.</p>
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<p>General Hospital’s first patient was Angie Costello (Jana Taylor), a young woman who wound up worse for wear after a joyless ride with boyfriend Eddie Weeks (Craig Curtis).</p>
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<p>Angie was treated by Dr. Steve Hardy (John Beradino) — that is, when he wasn’t being distracted by the likes of Nurse Jessie Brewster (Emily McLaughin), fiancée Peggy Mercer (K.T. Stevens), Priscilla Longsworth (Allison Hayes of <em>Attack of the 50 Foot Woman</em> fame) and… <em>Angie</em>?!? What the heck are <em>you</em> doing in there?</p>
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<p>We can only assume that this is a photo of Steve and buddy Lee Baldwin (Peter Hansen) looking at that last picture and going, “Dude! You had it goin’ <em>on</em>!”</p>
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<p>Of course, Steve was destined to fall in love with flight attendant-turned-nurse Audrey March (Rachel Ames), who first had to brush off infatuated patient Randy Washburn (Mark Miller).</p>
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<p>Giving Audrey advice every step of the way — on everything from gentlemen callers to how to open an envelope — was her no-nonsense sister, fellow nurse Lucille (Lucille Wall, who joined the cast in episode No. 14).</p>
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<p>Throughout the 1960s and beyond, Steve’s right-hand woman was Jessie, who had her hands full with philandering husband Phil Brewer (Roy Thinnes). In hindsight, his wandering eye would’ve been easier to spot if they hadn’t all been looking in the same dang direction.</p>
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<p>Jessie knew better than to buy into Phil’s BS. But then he’d look at her like this, and the words “Take a hike, bub!” would get stuck in her throat.</p>
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<p>After what doesn’t look at <em>all</em> like it was the world’s awkwardest job interview — hello, HR! — Steve added to the hospital’s staff Dr. Lesley Williams (Denise Alexander), who’d end up providing as much drama as she did medical care.</p>
Image: Jerry Fitzgerald/ABC/Courtesy of the Everett Collection
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<p>Did we mention that Steve and Audrey got married? Because they did — three times, as a matter of fact. Apparently, the on-again/off-again Hardys were advised that the third time really <em>was</em> the charm.</p>
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<p>Once the Hardys got it right, buildings were tested against their solidity. If Steve and Audrey couldn’t withstand it, then neither, inspectors wagered, could skyscrapers.</p>
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<p>The Hardys epitomized #relationshipgoals right up until his death in 1996. Though Audrey still had a lotta life left in her, she never remarried.</p>
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<p>In the early 1970s, future Luke Skywalker Mark Hamill was a <em>General Hospital</em> regular as Kent Murray, who moved in with aunt Jessie along with sister Carol (Anne Wyndham).</p>
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<p>Occupying the front burner in 1978 were Craig Huebing as shrink Peter Taylor, Alexander as Lesley, Michael Gregory as her love interest Dr. Rick Webber, newcomer Genie Francis as her long-lost daughter Laura and, naturally, Beradino as Steve.</p>
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<p><em>General Hospital</em> was in danger of cancellation when it struck pay dirt in 1978 with the pairing of Francis’ Laura and Kin Shriner’s Scotty Baldwin. After that, the show was only at risk of being… well, too <em>popular</em>!</p>
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<p>Is a supercouple really super if it doesn’t have a spoiler? Probably not, right? So Laura and Scotty’s title was secured — and then ripped away — by a jealous Bobbie Spencer (Jacklyn Zeman), who sought to break them up with the help of big brother Luke (Anthony Geary, pre-perm).</p>
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<p>That umbrella might’ve shielded newlyweds Laura and Scotty from the sun, but nothing could protect them from the runaway train that was the bride’s forbidden attraction to Mob flunky Luke.</p>
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<p>Luke’s rape of Laura should have put the kibosh on any chance that they might have had as a couple. Somehow, it did not. All it did was ruin Herb Alpert’s “Rise” for the rest of us.</p>
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<p>Laura thought long and hard about her feelings for Luke. And then she cast aside all of those sensible thoughts to go with her gut.</p>
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<p>No matter the obstacles that life put between her and Luke, Laura surmounted them. Yep, even an understandably vengeful Scotty.</p>
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<p>Mind you, Luke didn’t make it easy for Laura to choose him. He was as determined to have her as she was at first unsure that it was a good idea to be, well, had.</p>
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<p>Executive producer Gloria Monty took a hands-on approach with Francis as she studied her lines.</p>
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<p>Yup. Francis made Laura the hottest thing since sliced bread. And who doesn’t love sliced bread?</p>
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<p>While all of that was going on, Rick (by then Chris Robinson) showed an interest in auditioning for <em>Deliverance</em>. Cue the banjos!</p>
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<p>When not sucking face, Laura and Luke sought to thwart the villainous Cassadines’ attempt to turn the world into a popsicle with a formula for carbonic snow hidden in the base of a supremely ugly statuette called the Ice Princess.</p>
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<p>The daring endeavor called for the couple to hurl themselves into one scenario after another that <em>had</em> to have been lifted from a James Bond movie.</p>
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<p>In the end, Laura and Luke were so successful in their endeavor to stop climate change before anyone even knew that climate change was a thing that Port Charles insisted they have the biggest, best wedding ever.</p>
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<p>During this period, the sweethearts were so beloved that their portrayers took part in photo shoots that we’d never even <em>seen</em> before putting together this gallery — and we’d have sworn that we’d eyeballed every picture of them that had ever been taken!</p>
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<p>An unexpected — <em>and</em> unwanted — guest at Luke and Laura’s wedding was Helena Cassadine (Elizabeth Taylor), who blamed the bride and groom for the demise of her husband, Mikkos.</p>
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<p>At least Luke’s pal, Robert (Tristan Rogers), appeared to be able to hold Helena’s interest as much as the notion of retribution.</p>
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<p>Then again, the she-devil might have just been plotting to poison him. She’s always been like that, you know.</p>
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<p>How was Laura — or <em>any</em> bride — supposed to compete with a diva in an outfit like this? The curse that Helena placed on the Spencers was almost superfluous!</p>
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<p><em>Aaanyway</em>… Laura and Luke’s nuptials wound up being a simple affair… attended by some 30 million viewers, making it the most-watched episode of a soap opera in TV history.</p>
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<p>The newlyweds saw a bright future ahead of them. They just didn’t realize how short it would be, at least at first.</p>
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<p>To this day, the Spencers’ lavish wedding remains the standard against which all other soap ceremonies are measured.</p>
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<p>In other plots — and yes, there were some — once Monica Webber (Leslie Charleson) had for the most part stopped ping-ponging between Rick and his brother, Jeff, she focused her attentions on… well, as you can see, <em>General Hospital</em>’s newest doctor, filthy-rich Alan Quartermaine (Stuart Damon).</p>
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<p>Alan’s parents, Edward (David Lewis) and Lila (Anna Lee), knew better than to involve themselves in his squabbles with Monica. This, of course, did nothing to stop them from involving themselves in the Bickersons’ quarrels.</p>
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<p>Here, Edward sits idly by waiting to see if Monica is going to remind his son of the time he almost dropped a roof on her and loverboy Rick. (Hey, we only said that she was done ping-ponging between the Webber boys, not that she was done ping-ponging.)</p>
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<p>Mind you, Alan was not without his own peccadilloes. In addition to his fling with Susan Moore, he up and <em>married</em> gold digger Lucy Coe (Lynn Herring), a move that could’ve put his family in the same color as her plus-sized hat and gown.</p>
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<p>At least Alan’s affair with Susan brought into the fold golden boy Jason (Steve Burton), the saintly antithesis of his ne’er-do-well older half sibling, A.J. (Sean Kanan).</p>
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<p>Jason and A.J.’s early-1990s peers included scheming Brenda Barrett (Vanessa Marcil), muscle-bound Jagger Cates (Antonio Sabato Jr.), secret stripper Karen Wexler (Cari Shayne) and Robin Scorpio (Kimberly McCullough), the daughter of superspies Robert and Anna. More on them in a bit…</p>
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<p>Neither Monica nor brother-in-law Paul Hornsby (Paul Satterfield) were really interested in hearing how justified Alan had been in contemplating dropping a roof on her and Rick. Let it go, buddy. Let. It. Go.</p>
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<p>A car wreck with a drunk A.J. transformed Jason from a promising future doctor into a Mob flunky who, if he was going to wear any shirt at all, was going to wear a tight black T. No exceptions.</p>
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<p>But we’re getting <em>way</em> ahead of ourselves. Let’s rewind to the 1980s once more, shall we?</p>
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<p>In its Golden Age, <em>General Hospital</em> attracted a Who’s Who of famous folks, among them Sammy Davis Jr., who passed through Port Charles as Eddie Phillips for a fraught family reunion with estranged son Bryan (Todd Davis) and daughter-in-law Claudia (Bianca Ferguson).</p>
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<p>Legendary funnyman Milton Berle briefly played Mickey Miller, the talent agent responsible for the career of B-movie starlet Tiffany Hill (Sharon Wyatt).</p>
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<p>Mickey was also the mover and shaker that turned Luke’s bride into a supermodel who vanished in the fog on Port Charles’ docks. That is, Mickey made Laura Miss Star Eyes; as far as we know, he had nothing to do with the weather that fateful night.</p>
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<p>After Laura’s disappearance, Luke teamed up with reporter Jackie Templeton (then Demi Moore) in hopes of finding not only his wife but her sister.</p>
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<p>Jackie’s younger sibling, Laura (Janine Turner), did turn up. But Luke’s Laura? No such luck.</p>
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<p>Viewers didn’t buy Laura 2.0 as a new love interest for Luke. And they soon discovered that they preferred Jackie with Luke’s BFF Robert than with Luke.</p>
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<p>In the 1980s, it was tough for Robert to go anywhere without running into someone with whom he’d been involved. Tiffany? Check. Jackie? Check. Yeah, his little black book really wasn’t little at all.</p>
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<p>“Widower” Luke’s romance with impish con artist Holly Sutton (Emma Samms) was just heating up when he was “fatally” snowed in by an avalanche. (On <em>General Hospital</em>, matters of life and death have pretty much always belonged in air quotes.)</p>
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<p>To save Holly from deportation in 1983, Robert (Tristan Rogers) stepped up and made his “late” buddy’s pregnant girlfriend his wife. As you can see, she wasn’t the <em>least</em> bit nervous.</p>
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<p>Really, it <em>was</em> convenient for the Scorpios to be hitched once they realized that they’d fallen for one another. Naturally, that was when Luke thawed out enough to return to Port Charles alive and well… ticked.</p>
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<p>Losing Holly to Robert turned out to be a blessing in disguise for Luke, who’d have had a lot of explaining to do once Laura emerged from the fog with a wild story about having been held prisoner for years by Stavros Cassadine.</p>
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<p>Monica’s ex, Jeff (future <em>MacGyver</em> star Richard Dean Anderson), tried in vain to get virginal Nurse Anne Logan (Susan Pratt) to play doctor with him.</p>
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<p>Noah Drake (Rick Springfield) also attempted to get Anne to sample his bedside manner. And Noah scored with, like, <em>everybody</em>! But Audrey’s niece managed to leave Port Charles with her virginity intact.</p>
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<p>We don’t have to tell you that while Springfield was making the rounds as Noah, his music career was taking off, do we? Yeah, he wouldn’t be a “working-class dog” for long.</p>
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