gh carly hosed mashup
Credit: ABC (3), ABC screenshot (3)

She may be down, but only an idiot — or someone who has never met or even heard of her! — would count her out.

Lately, General Hospital has dealt Carly one blow (bestie-turned-husband Jason died) after another (husband-turned-“Mike” Sonny gravitated toward Nixon Falls boo Nina) after another (Willow turned out to be, of all people, Nina’s daughter — what are the freakin’ odds?!?). But the worst, it would seem, is yet to come. The week of July 11, Laura Wright’s embattled alter ego learns that “the other woman” has bought the Metro Court, according to Soap Opera Digest.

The reason Nina said no GH

“Room service… whenever I want it? I’m in!”

Credit: ABC screenshot

At What Price Redemption?

“How yummy is this for Nina?” Wright asks the magazine — rhetorically, obviously; any way you slice it, it’s super yummy. (Well, unless you’re Carly, then… not so much.) Since Nina withheld the fact that Sonny was alive, all while making “Mike’s” heartbeat spike, she’s been branded public enemy No. 1. Now she has something that Carly wants returned to her almost as much as she did her husband.

Sorry. Her ex-husband.

And the scandalous scenario only gets tastier the deeper in we dive! The Crimson chief offers her nemesis the hotel back as a kind of Hallmark card that reads, “Oops! Sorry I didn’t tell you that your husband wasn’t dead all those months. Bygones?” But Carly, as you might imagine, is having none of it. Or whatever is less than none of it! She would sooner take a dagger to the heart than accept any kind of mea culpa from Nina, thus granting her a Get Out of Port Charles Purgatory card.

She has a point: What fun is it to cast stones if you’re doing it alone?

Carly loses everything GH

“Why is this happening to meeee?”

Credit: ABC screenshot

Anyway, instead of say, “Golly, thank you. I didn’t know what I was going to do without my fancy-schmancy hotel,” Carly is “like, ‘Nice try, sister!’” previews Wright with a laugh. “She’s not taking money from Sonny, and she’s not taking money from Nina… the people who [bleep] all over her. She is like, ‘I would rather lose everything than take your freakin’ money!’”

Which doesn’t mean in any way, shape or form that Carly has given up. As if! Bobbie’s daughter “is a fighter,” notes the actress. (See the photographic proof here.) Yes, “Carly’s had the Metro Court for, like, 15 years, so not having it — and losing it to the woman who also has her husband — it’s a lot!”

Carly smiles at Michael and Drew

“You think this is a lot? Girl, please.”

Credit: ABC screenshot

Bring It On

However, “a lot” is sorta the former Mrs. Corinthos’ sweet spot. She’d been married to the Mob for a long time. (Heck, she’d even run it for a while!) Her kids were always being kidnapped or killed or falling through ice. (None of this is in the childrearing manual, by the way.) And the one who got away is also the same guy who years ago shot her in the head while she was giving birth.

More: General Hospital supercouple that… fizzled out

Yeah, Carly knows from “a lot.” She also knows how to rebound from “a lot.” In the wake of this particularly devastating setback, “you’re going to see a whole new Carly.” What does that mean, exactly? That remains to be seen. In the past, she’s sunk so low that she seduced her stepfather, tried to convince babydaddy A.J. that he’d fallen off the wagon and ordered the occasional hit. She’s also risen so high that she’s attempted to steer Sonny out of the Mafia. (Needless to say, that worked out about as well as taking chili off the menu at Kelly’s.)

While we wait to see what this “whole new Carly” is like, review the state of all of Port Charles’ couples via the below romance report, a photo gallery full of updates on everyone from “Sona” to “Millow.”