Credit: ABC (8)

Romance ought to come with an instruction manual. And a Cliffs Notes version, too. What? Sometimes we’re in a hurry!

You know how under “relationship status” on Facebook, one of the options is “It’s complicated”? Well, that comes in handy indeed when trying to describe what’s going on between many of the twosomes on General Hospital, yet it’s still not enough. Math is complicated (for us, anyway); these romances… they’re something else! To sum them up, one of the more popular choices would have to be, “Honey, don’t get me started,” “How much time have you got?” and “You won’t believe this [bleep]!”

Yeah. As fans of the ABC soap are well aware, it’s like that.

GENERAL HOSPITAL – Episode “14988” - "General Hospital" airs Monday - Friday, on ABC (check local listings). (ABC/Christine Bartolucci)KELLY THIEBAUD, KELLY THIEBAUD, BRADFORD ANDERSON

“I’m just saying, I call dibs if anyone falls out of the sky.”

Credit: ABC

Nevertheless, we’ve tried to boil down the show’s current and many of its recent duos to their bare essentials, sizing up not only their relationship statuses but where their next — and potentially their biggest — challenges lie. And as time goes on — and parters are swapped, “till death do us part” vows are broken, and sheets are tangled — we’ll update the list with both the good news and the bad news.

GENERAL HOSPITAL - Episode “14978” – "General Hospital" airs Monday - Friday, on ABC (check local listings). (ABC/Troy Harvey)KELLY MONACO

“The wine? Well, duh — that’s for if the news is bad.”

Credit: ABC

So… ready to see where things stand for the sweethearts of General Hospital as of today? All you have to do is click on the below photo gallery. It’s like reading a Port Charles gossip column that knows more than Hedda Hopper ever did!