Look at that face! (ABC)

The GH Rant from April 13 – 17:

Michael’s drug and alcohol induced meltdowns were the most entertaining things in a rather dull week. Let’s discuss what happened on “General Hospital.”

Because it wasn’t bad enough when it was just a triangle.
Ellie returned to Port Charles and threw an even bigger wrench into the mess that is Maxie and her men. She was right about one thing though, and that was that Spinelli was the boobie prize as Maxie only chose him after she thought it was over with Nathan. At this point I don’t know why either of these guys wants her anymore, and I can’t fathom why Ellie would want to take back that boob Spinelli. Perhaps Ellie and Nathan should give each other a shot.

To Tango or not to Tango.
The Duke, Anna, Lucy and Sloane story is just as much of a mess right now too. Duke and Anna obviously still have feelings for one another, which makes Duke shacking up with Lucy, and Sloane’s nearly naked run-ins with Anna even more ridiculous. Speaking of ridiculous, why are all these people living in a hotel? Is there a housing shortage in Port Charles? Perhaps someone should get back to fixing up the brownstone so people can move in. Everyone living at the Metro Court has jobs too, whereas Maxie seems to never work yet has a sweet apartment. Go figure!

Tim Spencer just won’t die.
The scenes of Luke apologizing to Sonny were great, and everything about Luke’s behavior has been explained to the fans. They’ve even given us reasons for his past criminal behaviors, such as raping Laura and running over Jake. Now that it has all been laid out, it’s time to kill Fluke, Tim, or whatever Luke’s alter is called. Kill him with drugs, kill him with electroshock therapy, just kill him and never ever bring him back. Fans have had enough of Fluke to last a lifetime.