The last of the Quartermaines? (ABC)

“General Hospital” Rundown for the week of December 9 – 13:

Estranged, funny, and nostalgic sum up this week that included another return from the dead before any knew the person was missing.

I’m not dead yet.
Just when I thought I’d never look at a BLT the same way again, Heather Webber returned from the grave. It’s not certain how many viewers were thrilled to see her hand reach up to the heavens from her premature resting place but I was thrilled. After Helena and Faison, and almost Jerry, met their final demise, it was a hard pill to swallow to see Heather buried even if the whole scene was funny. It’s too bad they didn’t film it in black and white like an old horror flick with fog and rain pouring down. For a second it seemed as if Franco was going to keep her knife…maybe to go after Scott for good measure. Maybe two slayings before dinner is a job well done in the Webber-Baldwin family. Kevin just might ask him to take care of Scott for him if he ever finds out that he slept with Lucy. The funniest scene this week was when Franco found an already dug grave. That is what you call divine intervention. Did he really need Kevin to confirm that Heather’s murder was warranted? Even funnier was Franco explaining to Kevin how it was the weirdest thing that there was a grave waiting for Heather when he got her there. Everything about Heather’s non-murder was pun-filled and delightful especially since she’s not dead.

I didn’t hear it through the grapevine.
Does anybody gossip in Port Charles anymore? Half of the town is unaware that one of their most respected doctors in the community has returned from the dead. The paper must have died when Julian Jerome shed the name Derek Wells. Please, Sonny and Carly don’t even know that Robin’s alive. What’s a girl got to do on top of crash a wedding to get attention? At least Sabrina and Felix were well aware that she was back but the only people they talked to were each other.

To be or not to be?
That’s what Robin wonders about a life with Patrick. It would be nice if he weighed in on the matter but the best anyone could get from him was a pinky-promise that he’d figure it out before Christmas. That’s all good for Emma but what about undead-wife and almost-wife? He must have forgotten that he had to work with these two. Patrick seems very fickle in this area and is totally acting juvenile. He already invited both women back home, had been in a fight over Sabrina’s honor, and was now considering spoiling someone’s holiday closer to the holiday. Not cool.