Lucky tries to torch the past (Soaps.com)

“General Hospital” weekly rundown for June 13 – June 17:

I’m just filling in for Lori this week. I promise that this exposure to my moaning is momentary and she’ll be back next time.

First up.

I’ll be upfront about this: I haven’t exactly been a dedicated viewer of “GH” over the last few months. I keep up with the plots, and I watch bits here and there, but actually sitting through an episode became difficult awhile back. That’s mostly because of Brenda and Sonny. They’re simply agonizing to me. I used to just take a drink whenever she would pull on her sleeves or he would furrow his brow, but even after imbibing a few bottles of whatever was on hand, they only became harder to take. Luckily, they weren’t around much this week.

Annual hostage crisis.

Like Christmas and the heartburn that accompanies it, the annual hostage taking at General Hospital came this week. Lucky actually rolled his eyes as it started. There was a lack of urgency from everyone. No tension, no excitement. It was more like Lisa was forced to act a script at an audition before a bunch of bored talent judges. The whole thing was played for farce, right down to Spinelli falling from the ceiling in another failed attempt at heroism.

Unlike most people, who are, perhaps, saner than I am, I really enjoy Lisa. That’s why I find all of this so sad. She’s got more spunk in a half baked plot than Robin and Patrick have had in their whole relationship. All that union has managed to create is a child who looks bored when she has to interact with them and this meandering “Fatal Attraction” ripoff. Lisa charged Robin with being whiny, boring and narrow minded and Patrick with being an arrogant self-absorbed twit. I can’t argue with either of those charges. In the world of fiction, they should be punishable by death, preferably one more interesting than what Lisa had in mind. But while my poor Lisa started to see her role getting further flushed into the sewer, at least she got one of the best lines of the week…

Line of the week.

Lisa (to Anthony): You make me feel sane.

Other highlights.

Max and Milo talking about where to dump Ethan’s body while standing beside him. Actually it was a pretty decent week all around for the bumbling brothers. I know they’ll never get real plots, but at least they could get more airtime. Getting Brenda’s goat by teaching her kid martial arts was also a nice touch. And I’m glad that Diane had the backbone to stand up to the little diva in spite of her caterwauling and refused to let Sonny get sucked into another story about fatherhood.