Ah, way back when. We imagine that this is the part where Diane casually explained to John that Kyle was his grandson because she stole what she thought was Victor’s sperm in order to have his baby, but instead Nikki had — believe it or not, accidentally — replaced it with Jack’s sperm. Could’ve happened to anyone. In Genoa City, anyway.
A few years later, Diane returned to town with future General Hospital star Maura West’s face and Kyle in tow. She cozied up to Victor, played nice with Jack… and then pissed off literally everyone in town. By the time Nikki bludgeoned her to death, both Victor and Jack were trying to claim guardianship of the boy, only for Kyle to tell Jack that he wanted to go to high school in New York. Oh. OK.
Eventually, Kyle came back from New York with an adult story and face courtesy of Blake Hood. Jack’s son romanced Michael’s half sister Eden, and sometimes they even took turns going on an imaginary roller coaster. Eden got more turns because she was better at it than him, but — ah, wait, no. This was when she was trying to regain her memories after being attacked by Paul’s psycho son, Ricky.
Once Eden vanished into the soap ether, Summer began her obsession with Kyle. She wasn’t subtle about her seduction attempt, but kudos for committing to it to the point that she stripped down in Jack’s office. Because nothing’s hotter than coming on to a guy in his father’s workplace. Right?
Hartley Sawyer took the reins next, and his Kyle was a lot more amenable to locking lips with Summer. But then things got awkward when the two learned (incorrectly, thank God) that Jack had fathered Summer with Phyllis instead of Nick. Which meant that the supposed siblings had kissed. Passionately. Kyle ran away real fast.
Kyle returned as future Station 19 first-responder Lachlan Buchanan in 2015. In the middle of a snowstorm. After getting his car stuck. And falling in a ravine. Oh, and it was while the cops were out searching for Summer’s missing husband, Austin, who had actually been murdered. Yeah, this return was looking rough from the get-go.
Austin’s murder led to the death of Noah’s almost-wife, Courtney. That got the whole teen/young adult crowd all mixed up in some whacky hijinks. But at least Kyle and Summer had learned that they weren’t related by then, so they could comfort each other with steamy, post-murder sex. Notice how they’re the only two not looking at the corpse?
The next time Kyle popped up, Michael Mealor was in the driver’s seat — and the Jabot throne! Jack was arrested for trying to kill Victor, so his son snatched at the chance to take the family company public. He would have gotten away with it, too, if it wasn’t for his meddling pop getting out of prison just in time to stop him!
Kyle was one of the first to learn that Jack was not John’s son. But if that came out, Jack’s “blood clause” stipulating that only genuine Abbotts could run Jabot would ruin Kyle’s CEO ambitions, so he was definitely not the one who spliced grandma Dina’s confession into her movie. But honestly, we wouldn’t have blamed him, because some of those reactions are hilarious.
Who hasn’t gone through a grave-robber phase or two? In Genoa City, it’s a must, especially when you need to, ahem, dig up some DNA for your dad. The good news is, Kyle’s about the only one who can pull off the “I’m digging up a casket look.” Oh, and also Jack wasn’t Phillip’s son after all but John’s; a spiteful Ashley had faked the whole thing.
Sorry, but we had to. And so did Kyle! Billy dubbed his new sunscreen line Birthday Suit and didn’t have any models in the buff, so Kyle stepped up to the plate and did the obvious. He also embarrassed the whole family on live TV, but they sold a boatload of sunscreen after that, so we guess not all heroes wear capes. Or clothes.
After what we presume was watching one too many John Hughes movies, Kyle and Summer decided to make their own rom-com. They wagered over whether Summer could seduce his Uncle Billy. If she failed, she’d sleep with Kyle. She lost the bet — at the time, anyway — but then so did Kyle when, instead of sleeping with him, she told him she loved him… like a brother. Ouch.
She was not a showgirl. But it was love at first sight from the moment Kyle laid eyes on that food truck. And he didn’t think the lady running it was too shabby, either! Sure, that truck hit a few bumps (most of them named Summer), but meeting Lola was the start of a love that seemed destined for greatness… before it crashed and burned.
Kyle and Lola were on the outs, thanks to her brother Rey’s self-centered wife Mia trying to kill her by knocking her into the pool. Actually, she tried killing Abby. Lola was just wearing the blonde’s coat, and Mia was very drunk. At least Kyle saved Lola! Only for her to end up in a coma! It was like that.
Look at the proud father of the groom. True, Kyle only married Summer in exchange for part of her liver to save Lola’s life, but all Jack knew was that his son was marrying his almost-daughter. Every dad’s dream. In Genoa City, anyway.
Eventually, Kyle convinced Summer that his heart would never be into their sham marriage, and the two divorced. Next on his list? Convincing Lola to take him back so they could jump into a new marriage with her less than two months later! And folks wonder why we had a bad feeling about this…
That bad feeling had a name: Theo. He’s not exactly the reason Kyle’s marriage collapsed, but driving his old New York City frenemy crazy by dating Summer even as he wormed his way into Lola’s life probably didn’t help. Plus, Theo had this weird obsession with Kyle. Honestly, until we learned the two were cousins, we were about 50/50 over whether Theo hated Kyle or was in love with him.
Sleeping with a married woman is never a good idea. Fathering a child with that married woman is an even worse one. And doing that with Tara Locke, the wife of the ruthless, cutthroat Ashland Locke? That’s just suicidal. But that’s how New York Kyle rolled. On the other hand: Isn’t Harrison just the cutest?
After Kyle ended it with Lola, he hightailed it back to Summer. But then Bold & Beautiful pot-stirrer Sally blew into town like a hurricane and proceeded to scheme with Theo to make all manner of trouble for the sweethearts. She thought she’d won when she coerced Summer into taking a job in Milan, but the joke was on Sally when Kyle ran off after the blonde. “Skyle” then married in a lovely wedding in Italy. We assume. We didn’t get to see it.
We can’t decide if “Skyle” attending Ashland and Victoria’s wedding was weird or sweet. On the one hand, Victoria is Summer’s aunt. On the other, Kyle did have an affair with Ashland’s previous wife, leading to an illegitimate child, so… that’s a bit of a bummer. A cute bummer, but a bummer nonetheless.
In 2022, Kyle was poised to be dealt the mother of all surprises when Diane rose from the grave looking like Susan Walters once again. And as you’d expect of the viper, her top priority was… not letting Kyle know that “I’m baaack,” it was hatching a cockamamie scheme to get face time with Jack through his newfound granddaughter, Allie.
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