Look, we get it. Billy (originally David Tom) was the rich kid who fell head over heels for the pretty, popular, mean girl. It’s a time-honored trope, so whatever. But it was the fact that he ran back to Brittany after they’d broken up and she’d drugged him and arranged it so Mac would catch the two in bed together that had us just about tearing our hair out. Really, Billy?
Stop us if you heard this one: there’s this guy named Liam in Los Angeles who bounces around from girl to girl. No, this isn’t Bold & Beautiful’s Liam; it was the alias Billy (then Billy Miller) used to pick up girls while he lived in L.A. A little creepy? Sure, but to make it worse, one of those girls was the always-scheming Amber Moore, who he brought back to wreak havoc in Genoa City with him. Actually, wait, that does sound a lot like Bold & Beautiful!
When it comes to getting the girl, Billy really likes playing pretend. After Liam, he invented “Sonny Crawford,” a fake online persona he used to woo Lily when she tried out online dating. And Kevin was the internet predator? Shockingly, it all worked out and Lily was actually excited to learn she’d been duped! So… yay for catfishing?
Billy’s always had a tough time with boundaries when it comes to Jack — especially marriage boundaries. To be fair, Sharon and Jack were having problems when she and Billy had their affair… but the couple was still married! Even worse, Billy began sleeping with his big bro’s wife right as he moved in with Chloe and little Cordelia to make a go at the family life! Luckily, Sharon cut things off before too much damage was done…
Why stop with one bad choice when you can double down? While Chloe knew Billy had been a cad, Jack was none the wiser. He and Sharon patched things up, so Billy turned his attention back to Chloe and convinced her to marry him. He celebrated by sleeping with Sharon again just before the wedding… Of course, she got pregnant, which led to a slew of “Who’s the Daddy” drama that finally blew Billy and Jack’s relationship up!
When Mac returned to town (now played by Clementine Ford) on the arm of good pal Raul, Billy decided he deserved her more. It didn’t take long for Raul to call off the engagement and Mac to inform Chloe that she and Billy were now an item… until Billy decided he really did love Chloe! Whoops. But then Chloe moved on with Chance (then John Driscoll), so Billy had to wanted to get together with Mac anyway.
After waiting six years for their chance together, Billy and Mac finally got their happily ever after… until Cane and Lily asked her to be their surrogate. Billy tried informing Mac that she wasn’t allowed to be their surrogate, which went about as well as you’d imagine. Come on, Billy. Here was your chance to be a decent human being and hold onto the woman you’d supposedly been waiting years to be with… and you blew it.
With Mac gone, Billy moved on to his real forever love, Victoria! At least, that’s what they thought when they got tattoos of each other’s names. We get it. Billy and Victoria were the life of the party — but this is Genoa City. Next time, just write each other’s names in the sand. It’ll probably last longer than most relationships in that town. Oh, and the tattoo artist died before finishing and left Billy with “Victor” tattooed on him… until the mogul himself paid to finish it!
His heart was in the right place but buying a baby on the black market from Primrose Deville (for the love of God, her name is practically “devil”) wasn’t one of Billy’s smartest moves. When the truth came out that they’d accidentally/illegally adopted Phyllis’ granddaughter, Billy and Victoria not only lost the kid, but their marriage was thrown into such disarray that it never truly recovered.
It took some time for Billy and Victoria to patch things up (emphasis on the “patch”), but then he almost blew the whole marriage again when he discovered an amnesiac Victor living at the docks. Rather than tell anyone back in Genoa City, he paid “Jenny” (who was really Cane’s mom, Genevieve) to watch over Victor! Luckily for Billy, that whole plot, er, bout of amnesia was literally blown up, and Billy Boy earned Victor’s goodwill (for about half a second) by saving him from the explosion.
OK, besides the whole ”What in the world was Pass Key?” thing (Does anyone remember? Does anyone care?), his brilliant decision to invest in it led Billy (now Jason Thompson) right back down his gambling path, put him in a coma and finally cost him Victoria. But we’re pretty sure the real reason Kevin and Mariah look so horrified here is from Billy’s vomit-worthy paint job.
Look, there’s no denying that Billy and Phyllis (then Gina Tognoni) were hot to trot but sleeping with his brother’s lady-love nearly cost him his relationship with Jack. Again. For the — actually, never mind. Billy and Jack were due for their bi-annual falling-out anyway. At least Billy had some fun while he was at it. Carry on.
The affair was one thing, but what in the world was Billy thinking when, after blowing up his relationship with his brother, he used Phyllis’ laptop to copy Jabot files and spy on her and Jack’s plans for Brash and Sassy? For that matter, Phyllis had the same question. And she didn’t like the answer. Remember what we said about Billy doubling down on bad decisions?
You might think we’re going to mock Billy for launching an entirely new chain of stores as online retail kills brick-and-mortar, but, no, apparently, the venture was a huge success or something. So instead, we’re giving him the boneheaded award for the store names: Jabotique? Just no. Then again, that came just after he named the company yacht, Jaboat, (then lost it in a poker game) so we guess it’s a step up.
Look, even Billy realized this was a mistake and ended it. Supposedly, it was super popular, but about the only fans we ever saw were in his own family… and we’re pretty sure they were just pretending to like it so they could get through family dinners. Also, we’d make a separate slide just for the podcast name (The Grinning Soul?! That sounds like a horror movie from the silent era!) but it’s probably best if we just all moved on.
