Credit: Images: John Paschal/JPI, XJ Johnson/JPI (2), Howard Wise/JPI, NBC
‘I’m 10 Years Old!’
Shocking, we know, and yet also true. Born in 2009, General Hospital ingenue Josslyn Jacks has packed into her first decade of existence a whole lotta life — including the death of Oscar Nero, not only her first love but the boy to whom she considered losing her virginity! Guess it’s true what they say: Girls mature faster than boys — a lot faster. And yet, look who’s next!
‘Bro, I’m 19!’
According to the birth certificate of The Young and the Restless’ Kyle Abbott, he should still be enjoying college keggers and worrying about final exams. Instead, Jack’s wise-beyond-his-years son is working at the highest level of his fancypants family’s cosmetics firm and going through wives as fast as… well, come to think of it, his dear old dad! And if you think that’s eyebrow-raising, consider the age of his ex-wife and current paramour…
‘I’m 13 — *and* a Half!’
The Young and the Restless‘ Summer Newman, though played as a twentysomething on the show, is really too young to order a drink, much less take a husband. While others her actual age are getting excited about sleepovers and first crushes, she concerns herself with marketing proposals and the former husband that she managed to snatch back from his subsequent wife!
‘I’ll Be 14 in December!’
Seems that Days of our Lives’ Ciara Brady is a child bride. The heroine, who only recently said “I do” to beau Ben Weston in one of daytime’s more explosive wedding ceremonies, was born in 2006, making her more or less an eighth-grader today.
On the surface, this one isn’t really all that surprising, right? Until you think about the fact that The Young and the Restless’ Lily Winters is the mother of two college-age kids. If she was really the age that her on-screen birth year makes her, that would mean that she had Charlie and Mattie when she was, like, 7 or 8. Now it’s surprising, huh!
‘You’re Only as Old as You Feel!’
We’d expect reformed General Hospital mafioso Julian Jerome to say that since, according to the tombstone that he didn’t need back in 1988, his age today is 61! Not that there’s anything wrong with that, of course, but the guy looks amazing! Apparently, when the WSB gave him a new face way back when, they chose that of Dorian Gray!
‘I’m Totally 20!’
The Bold and the Beautiful diva Steffy Forrester is impressive for many reasons — not the least of which being the fact that she managed to get comfy in the CEO’s seat at her family’s fashion house when, technically, she’s barely old enough to be a college sophomore. And where did she find time in her first 20 years of existence to get married four (!) times! Pace yourself, Steffy! Pace yourself!
‘What? I’m 25!’
We’d buy that Mark Grossman, who currently plays The Young and the Restless’ Adam Newman, is the actual age of his on-screen alter ego. But it’s pretty trippy when you remember that among his predecessors in the role were a 45-year-old (Michael Muhney) and a 43-year-old (Justin Hartley). Is Adam pulling a Benjamin Button us?!?
‘I’ll Be 13 in October!’
Good God, how did Teen Mom manage to miss out on casting Days of our Lives’ Allie Horton?!? Oh, maybe it’s because the new mom is technically not yet a teen — she’s still only 12. Or, to put it another way, the age that mom Sami acts when she’s in a snit.
‘I’m Just 22!’
Handsome as hell? Hell, yes! But 22? Sheila Carter-style, we must arch an eyebrow at that, considering that since being born all over Uncle Thorne’s car upholstery in 1998, The Bold and the Beautiful pot-stirrer Thomas Forrester has tied the knot twice and logged time as the CEO of his clan’s fashion dynasty. Unless… wait a minute? Could he be a not-quite-a-child prodigy?