Back in the heyday of Port Charles supervillains, few and far between were the ne’er-do-wells who made us see redder shades of red than the Russian spy who stole not only lookalike Grant Andrews’ life but fiancée Celia Quartermaine as well.
“Ugh,” we can just hear you saying. “Why is she on this list?” Frankly, it’s because the mere mention of the supervixen’s name can make you say, “Ugh.” Troublemakers who leave that lasting an impression are hard to come by — and harder to forget!
Yes, these two lovebirds have to share an entry. How could they not? From the moment Nikolas Cassadine and Courtney Matthews’ son was reintroduced as a brooding young man, we’ve been all about his ultimate pairing with beleaguered heroine Trina.
Any day now, we expect to see a comeback by the psycho whose machinations kept Port Charles on its toes for decades. So unrelentingly wicked was Peter August’s Daddy Dearest, he seems like exactly the type to whom even Satan would say, “Oh, hell, no!”
Despite having one dad who’s a career criminal (hey there, Sonny Corinthos) and another who never met a plot that he wouldn’t hatch (R.I.P, A.J. Quartermaine), Carly’s son is the straightest of arrows. Unless, that is, he’s out for revenge; in that case, all bets are off.
Once a fearsome villain, Liz’s latest late husband — thanks to the removal of that pesky homicidal brain tumor — became known as not only one of Port Charles’ biggest sweethearts but one of its funniest residents, too.
Talk about carpe’ing the diem! After lingering in a coma for decades, the heiress made up for lost time by losing her marbles, stealing Ava Jerome’s newborn and, ultimately, displacing Carly Corinthos from her spot in Sonny’s bed.
Arguably the ultimate good-and-evil-twin pairing, these siblings have been making the residents of Port Charles say, “Oh, brother!” since the early 1990s. And though Ryan’s reign of terror is supposedly over, we’ll believe it when we don’t see it pick up anew.
The Brooklyn accent. The incredible nails. The yin/yang chemistry with “Eddie Maine.” Ned Quartermaine’s former wife would never have forgiven us if we’d left her off this list, and neither would we.
Whenever we’re feeling especially sentimental about General Hospital, we also get a little mental — because it inevitably brings to mind Jeff Webber’s batty, BLT-loving ex, arguably the most entertaining Port Charles psycho ever to spike a drink.
She’s been naughty. She’s been nice. But one thing Frisco Jones Mac and Felicia Scorpio’s daughter has always been — and will always be — is fashionable. A heart that big and beautiful never goes out of style.
No one ever need wonder what an individual would be like if they possessed in equal measure both light (thanks to mom Laura Collins) and dark (courtesy of father Stavros); they need only meet the Cassadines’ dark prince.
Somewhere along the line, Monica’s “better” half must’ve given himself a heart transplant, since the formerly-mad-as-in-angry doctor went from wanting to drop a house on her to being the true partner that she mourned as mightily as we did.
They don’t make ’em like this anymore! The patriarch of the Quartermaine family was a blustering tyrant whose huffing and puffing did a fine job of hiding the fact that, underneath, he was really a big softy.
Whenever she walks into a room, you know that chaos is going to follow — and we wouldn’t have it any other way. Lucy may not be the conniver that she once was, but she remains as “quacky” and unpredictable as ever.
Jason Morgan’s onetime ride-or-die boasts an enviably all-over-the-place soap-character resumé that’s taken her from con artist and stepfather seductress to action heroine, “widowed” wife and mom. Along that bumpy road, the one thing she’s never been… is boring!
Rumors of the “reformed” con artist’s death were, thankfully, greatly exaggerated. What has never been overstated, however — and perhaps can’t be — is that she is as crafty as she is beautiful.
May we have this dance? If only. No one grieved harder when Anna Devane’s made-man true love was kilt — sorry, killed — than we did. To this day, we haven’t given up hope that the show will resurrect him again.
She’s now arguably Port Charles’ most respected surgeon. But to us, Alan’s widow will always be the impetuous strumpet who drove the Webber brothers to distraction and accidentally had a fling with her own nephew.
Really, this long-running heroine should have her own action figure, because from the moment that we met her — when she was unconvincingly disguised as a boy, no less! — she’s been tossed from one madcap adventure to the next.
James Bond’s got nothing on Port Charles’ answer to 007, the smoothest of operators and shrewdest of characters. Even now that he’s switched gears and become district attorney, many a fan wouldn’t mind calling him “the spy who loved me.”
Cut from the same cloth as grandmother Audrey Hardy, Liz is the inspirational heart and soul of Port Charles, a working wife and mom who strives to put her mistakes in rearview in order to pave the way for a brighter tomorrow.
You’ve come a long way, baby… er, Bobbie! The scheming ex-hooker was transformed over the decades from desperate to dependable — miraculously, without losing the mischievous twinkle in her eye.
A do-right guy in a do-wrong town, Luke’s halo-clad son was destined to suffer — and man, did he, through his own “death,” drug addiction, adultery and, in the end, the demolition of his relationship with true love Elizabeth Webber… at least for now.
Anna and Robert’s daughter is an inspiration, a cute kid who absorbed the blows that life dealt her — and there have been many! — to emerge on the other side a grown woman who is kindhearted, open-minded and far tougher than her warm smile might suggest.
This passion’s plaything always meant to be smart about love, to not only think but think twice. In the end, however, the one that got away from both Sonny and Jax just over and over again wound up putting heart over mind.
Bundles of neuroses don’t come any more compelling than this alcoholic ex-attorney, the brilliant matriarch of the Davis girls and the most engaging disaster you’re ever likely to watch — preferably from a safe distance.
The word “kickass” could’ve been coined to describe the former police commissioner, an all-around Superwoman whose capacity for hand-to-hand combat is matched only by her aptitude for heart-to-heart love.
It’s no wonder this rascally attorney’s hair is always fantastically askew: Next to the wisecracks in his head are countless plots, both the cajillions that he’s already hatched and executed, and — dare we hope? — the many that are yet to come.
Unlike Port Charles’ myriad mobsters and madmen, Jane Elliot’s undisputed queen of mean could kill with nothing more than a well-aimed insult. Mind you, she was just covering up the fact that, like anyone else, she had a heart; hers just happened to cost more.
When Jack Wagner’s crime-fighting pop star sang, “You’re aaall III neeed,” few and far between were the audience members who didn’t wish that he was singing to them. Even now, years after Frisco burned his bridges in Port Charles, we’re dying for him to cross back over them and give us an encore.
All it took was a big car wreck and a little brain damage, and Steve Burton’s squeaky-clean future doctor was reborn as a Mob enforcer whose love of tight black T-shirts was rivaled only by his love of Sam. (And, depending on the year, Liz.)
Fight us if you must, but for our money, Steve Hardy’s stalwart right-hand woman was the all-time most-tortured soap-opera martyr. Emily McLaughlin’s dedicated nurse never ceased to volunteer her big heart for breaking.
A tragic victim of circumstance, a stone-cold femme fatale or a little bit of both? With Maura West’s master manipulator, you can never be sure — but you’ll definitely tune in tomorrow (and the next day!) to see if you can figure out the vexing vixen!
By now, we’ve come to regard Maurice Benard’s dimpled don as The Godfather, Part IV. Formidable and flawed, the smooth criminal is a mass of contradictions that somehow add up to a character that’s as dangerous as he is appealing.
You know how you know that Carly is one of the all-time greats on General Hospital? The character’s withstood two and a half recasts (from Sarah Brown to Tamara Braun to, briefly, Jennifer Bransford, then Laura Wright) to remain an unstoppable force of nature, a freight train you’d be terrified to be in front of but more often than not find yourself willing to get behind.
The white hats in Port Charles tend to get overlooked in favor of the anti-heroes and bad boys — but not by us. We still fondly remember John Beradino’s good doctor — or, as we think of him, the foundation upon which General Hospital is built.
From Mob flunky to mayor, Anthony Geary’s infamous alter ego was fashioned from a mold that was long ago broken, one from which sprang the kind of absolute scoundrel who is as infuriating as he is entertaining, as irrepressible as he is irresistible.
Reunited with her birth mother? Check. Crushed on Mom’s man? Check. Abducted to a Greek isle? Check. Played dead? Nervous breakdown? Elected mayor? Check, check and also check. If it could happen to a soap-opera heroine, it happened to Genie Francis’ erstwhile Miss Star Eyes, along the way making her not just beloved but iconic.
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