Deconstructing DOOL: Delicious Campy Wedding Drama at Every Turn

August 20 – 24


There was a lot going on this week. Many storylines were vying for attention and some could have taken a backseat during the wedding of the year, but there was delicious drama at every turn and it’s not even Sweeps. Last week I wrote in Deconstructing DOOL, about the bizarre things that happen only in Salem such as having doppelgangers, being cured from a mental illness in three weeks, and being surprised when people learn your dirty secrets after you’ve spilled your guts at the public park…I think I prefer that camp to the romance these days…

Jarlena’s wedding vs. nightmare wedding

I absolutely loved the events leading up to Jarlena’s wedding starting with the Marlena doll Kristen sent, then watching John dance around with it, kissing it. That was hilarious. Marlena’s wedding nightmare with elements from John and Marlena’s 1986 wedding was better than the real thing for me. Val offering to sing “Up Where We Belong” and Abe telling her she was no Marilyn McCoo or Tamara Price was a fun throwback. Abe yelling if anyone wanted to ‘speak now or forever hold your peace’ then yelling, “Orpheus? Can I get a motorcycle? A videotape? Something?” was phenomenal, reminding us of Shawn D driving his motorbike through St. Luke’s gorgeous stained glass windows during Belle’s wedding to PhillyK, and Kristen and Brady’s wedding where we saw a recording of her defrocking his brother Father Eric. Susan’s arrival was surprisingly amazing. Stacy Haiduk’s very talented but I wasn’t sure anyone could pull off Susan or Kristen other than Eileen Davidson. Haiduk is doing a fabulous job though I still miss Eileen Davidson. Some fans weighed in on Haiduk’s portrayal of Susan (before the Kristen reveal).

Surprise – I didn’t care for the wedding itself. I know. I’m as shocked as you are. I’ve always been into John and Marlena but these days they get maybe two minutes of airtime every other week which makes it tough for me to continue to invest. Besides, we saw propping of Wilson, and Stayla and Paul all interrupted the beginning of the wedding, which annoyed me. I could have done without Eve and Jennifer sniping at each other, too. The vows were long-winded and oddly I found them boring. It bums me out to admit that, knowing most of you loved them. The highlight was Sami’s appearance, drugged up and dressed in tattered clothing and rocking that smelly matted hair, yelling for her mother not to marry John. Cliffhanger Friday was brilliant – to me – in every way. We knew EJ is alive, but with the actor not wanting to return, will Sami be on this hunt for her true love forever?

The shady cop vs. the serial killer

Hope tried everything to get her daughter to kick Ben out of the loft, but Ciara wouldn’t budge. It was good mother and daughter drama that could have been enhanced exponentially if Ciara and Hope were in more than two scenes every other month together. And if Hope could go ahead and remember that Claire’s her granddaughter, that would be great. Truthfully, Hope should do all she can to get Ben out of the loft after all he has done. I respect that. But without Ben living at the loft, eating cereal shirtless, we’d have to contend with the girls sniping at one another over 1950s bae. I’m down for shirtless stranglebae.

More: Interview on Stacy Haiduk playing Susan/Kristen

WilSon foreshadowing and quick payoff

There’s been a lot of debate over whether Sonny should have shared his feelings of love with Will. Some say, “He just needed to say it aloud and had no expectations,” but that’s a load of BS. If you profess your love, you’re expecting or at least hoping that it’ll be reciprocated. Some found the declaration disrespectful of Will and Paul’s relationship. Possibly. But it’s forgivable. It wasn’t even necessary because Will already knew. Sonny has never made that a secret. The scene felt too obvious that it was foreshadowing a reunion, especially when Will said, “I don’t love you. I love Paul and that’s not going to change.” Famous last words. And the next day we saw Will regain his memory. Chandler Massey rocked those scenes. It’s so good to finally have Will remember who he is and it was emotional for me to watch the guys reunite and I’m not the biggest WilSon fan, so I can’t imagine how diehard WilSon fans felt. I’m happy for them. I’m also heartbroken for poor Paul.

More: Greg Vaughan & Angie Harmon’s real life Brady Bunch

Remember, this is an opinion piece. Popular or not. Feel free to post your own in the comments – again, unpopular or not.

Best lines:

Abe, “Can I get a motorcycle? A videotape? Something?”

Susan, “You and John go together like peanut butter and bananas.”

“Easy cyclops,” Kristen tells Steve.

Will to Sonny, “I felt your love.”


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