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Deconstructing DOOL: Only in Salem…

August 17

Image: Howard Wise/JPI

This week I thought I’d change it up a little and write a focused column on oddities that happen in Salem that can make us chuckle or cringe. Days of our Lives has been known for pushing the boundaries of reality for decades, which is part of the reason we love it so. Soaps.com has seen some occurrences that don’t transpire in fictional towns in other soap operas.

Only in Salem can you…

Commit loads of crimes but never do the time.

Commit any crime if you’re a Horton or a Brady and have it covered up for you by the current commissioner, whether it be Roman Brady from the past, or Hope Brady, the current commish.

Become police commissioner after murdering one of the most prominent businessmen in the city and covering it up with your cop/boyfriend.

Keep your job as police officer when you’ve covered up a crime – even murder.

Die, and die again. Death in Salem is only fleeting. In Salem, you can return from the dead several times.

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Die and become a  ghost, having more screen time than you did when you were alive.

Only in Salem can you have at least one doppelgänger who wants to appropriate your life.

Commit murder and mayhem and a year later be released from a mental hospital for feeling remorse or having an unspecified ‘chemical imbalance’.

Go from having no baby bump to suddenly looking six months pregnant in six weeks. Time flies in Salem.

Rape someone (female or male) and expect forgiveness and to have the violent act forgotten with the passage of time.

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Wind up in prison several times yet still ending up with a good job when you’re out. You may even become a cop with the SPD or work for a multi-million dollar company.

Only in Salem can you be diagnosed with a mental illness and be cured in three weeks.

Be surprised when someone learns your darkest secrets though you’ve spilled your guts at the town park.

Can you leave your house unlocked, and then become incensed that your enemy walked right in, unannounced.

More: You know you’re living in a soap opera when…

Not be the least bit concerned that somebody could switch the paternity test results for your child, when it’s a common occurrence in Salem.

And finally, only in Salem can you justify your right to date a lawyer who is defending the man who murdered your grandson – who came back from the dead.

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