Deconstructing DOOL: Longing For More Happiness – & Less of the Depressing Mishaps

Credit: Image: Jill Johnson/JPI

Much like in last Friday’s column, I’m still not feeling any of what’s happening in Salem except Bonnie’s return. I don’t know what’s going on, but it feels like there’s been a shift in the last two weeks. This is a short week for me as I’m off Friday. 

Did Xander bone the brunette?

That Paul Telfer. No matter how often Xander screws up now, one look at that hangdog expression of his and you sort of melt and feel bad for him. (Well, at least I do and my staff does!) Sarah – not so much. But then it’s easy to melt when you don’t have any stake in the relationship. I understand why Sarah’s having a hard time forgiving Xander. What he did in the real world is unforgivable. And freaking crazy!
Victor cleared up why Maggie keeps going back to Victor for more. He told Sarah that Maggerz would rather be in love with someone who screws up than be alone. Um. Nobody’s perfect I guess? Maybe when you’re older you realize how precious time is. I’m not sure I could stand all the bloody drama at every turn.

Did Xandy bone that brunette he let into his hotel? Doubtful. I can’t see him paying for sex. She’s probably a massage therapist for the hotel. But it’s a good way to get Sarah to realize her feelings for him since she’ll probably be jealous of what she saw.

Wedding fiasco number 2

I was surprised that I felt almost depressed that so far, the two weddings on Days of our Lives were full of so many mishaps. It’s not the fault of the show. Usually, I’d find the mishaps funny but the timing is off. Times are tough enough in quarantine which makes many of us long for just a little more happiness in our one remaining soap. Hopefully, Nicole and Eric’s wedding will be lovely.

The signs that the wedding was doomed were fun with Will dropping his cue cards, and Kayla breaking a shoe.

Justin was brave. Seriously brave, to let Kayla go. How painful. Watching him cry as he left their condo was heart-wrenching. At least he got that passionate kiss out of Bon Bon. (Was anyone else depressed that she’s wearing boring-assed conservative clothing? Bon Bon’s whack clothes really made her who she is.)

I digress. Kayla blamed Steve for her wedding plans falling apart but I blame Kayla as well. She obviously wasn’t ready to move on because when she found out Steve was still in love with her, she ran – not walked – to find Steve. She shouldn’t have accepted Justin’s proposal. Whatever. Should have, could have, would have. None of that matters. I’m just glad they broke up.

I felt for John and Hope when Steve told them he was leaving Salem. John actually cried! Steve’s kind of a vagabond. I get that Steve would have had a hard time being around Justin and Kayla since he’s still in love with her, but it wasn’t lost on me that he’s always running off when things get tough. It hasn’t exactly inspired security for Kayla’s future. That said, I don’t even care. I still swooned when they reunited. (Crazed soap fan!)

Steve is a self loathing mess #days

— Mel #PatchandKaylaForever 🤟 (@SnK4thelonghaul) July 7, 2020

More: Deidre Hall & Judi Evans talk favorite storylines

The key to the city

After all that hullabaloo all month about the key to the city ceremony and it lasted two full minutes and nobody we know in Salem attended. What was the point?! And before I could call BS on Kate telling Abe that his voters gave him almost 300,000 likes on social media for coverage of the ceremony, Kate admitted that the Kardashians follow her. And they promoted it for her. Funny, and I could see them looking to her for fashion tips, but social media likes are meaningless if they don’t convert. It’s the Salemites she should be trying to convert to Abe lovers, not people in L.A. Worse after the ceremony was over, Marlena and John clearly had plenty of time to get to Justin and Kayla’s wedding but instead, they chose to grab a beer at the pub. How supportive.

#DAYS Salem didnt show up for their two hero’s. They decided to skip the ceremony and watch Netflix instead. 😂 pic.twitter.com/k5jUfKGHho

— #JayIsBack 💃🏽 رحمه⏳❤️ #BLM 🕋🖤✊🏾🗣 (@Rahma2701) July 7, 2020

It’s July and a kijilliom degrees outside and Steve is like I think I’ll wear my leather. #days pic.twitter.com/oIAPemEGD2

— Eve_L ❥🐍 (@elle_evil) July 7, 2020

Preggers

I don’t have much to say about Allie and her pregnancy this week except how tired I am of everyone making such a mountain out of a molehill. She’s not pregnant at 15. If she doesn’t want to tell her mother she’s knocked up though, why the hell did she return to Salem as big as a fricken house, where all of her relatives are? I can’t wait for Sami to return so we can move on from all of the pregnancy and adoption chatter.

More: Ali Sweeney celebrates wedding anniversary

Join in on the discussion with your take on this week.

Best lines:

Steve to Hope about getting ready for the key to the city ceremony, “I’ll shine up my fancy patch.”

Victor, “Kayla’s better off without that one-eyed wonder.”

Victor about Xander, “He’s an insensitive oaf but his heart is in the right place.”

Allie about Sami, “My life was a circus and she was the ringmaster.”

Bonnie, “Supercouples, no matter what happens, they end up together.”
Justin, “Super…couples?”
Bonnie, “Duh, like Patch and Kayla, John and Marlena, Jack and Jennifer… me and Lucas.”

Steve to Kayla, “I love you. All the Days of our Lives.”