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Deconstructing DOOL: Sexual Innuendos & Shirtless Men Run Rampant

January 14 - 18

days column sexual innuendos

Image: Jill Johnson/JPI; NBC Universal Inc.

Another week went by with so many reasons to love Days. The one-liners were in abundance, we saw many themes including sexual innuendos, shirtless men, unwanted Salemites visiting their enemies, bad guys getting off without doing time for their crimes…but there were some issues with history being changed that were disconcerting…

Like a dog with a bone

Monday Eve and Sarah were vying for the position of most immature girl in junior high. I don’t know which won. Neither is self-aware which can be either endearing or frustrating, depending. Eve has so much potential. She could have had a great career in Paris, a new life, maybe a new love, with Chad’s offer but she’d rather waste her time taking revenge on HRH Jenn Jenn, trying to get Jack, knowing perfectly well it’ll never work. At least she never gives up?

More: Days winter rumors heat things up in Salem

Dirty dog

Jeeze. What’s wrong with this guy! Rex revealed he had sex with Sarah’s sister, after the umpteenth time she asked and Sarah slapped him and ran straight into Eric’s arms to use him for revenge sex. Um instead of calling her sister and chewing her out. Misguided. Reckless. Rex is an idiot.

Fall from Grace

The pious ex-priest ambushed mean, mean, mean Xander and then attacked him and Xander couldn’t fight him off – uh I had to suspend a lot of disbelief to get through that scene, which was really well done but almost comical, what with Eric crying throughout. I wasn’t worried about Xander doing time because the SPD couldn’t find their asses if they were in the middle of their faces. And Sheila’s such a wonderful mess to have given Xander and his ‘guns’ footage without proper ID. That was an amazing scene, as was Trask’s tirade directed at Abe. Melinda called out Commissioner Brady for being incompetent and a joke – fact. Then she called out Abe for letting this go on. As much as I like Abe, I’m on Trask’s side here. He’s delusional to defend Hope as commish. She’s even worse than Raines in some ways. I’ve always loved this nasty DA and am glad she has more of a story and now a family.

Regarding Eric and Sarah, I have seen a little chemistry between them but am not down with a pairing since he’s her ex-fiance’s brother. It’s incestuous. Monday I wished that Sarah would smoke a big fattie and take that stick out of her butt and Thursday I got my wish until Rex dropped the biggest bombshell of the year.

Jack’s rewritten history

Jennifer revealed Jack’s “traumatic past with an abusive father” after he told her he just learned he raped Kayla. It sounded as though Jennifer was blaming Jack raping Kayla on his past and then proceeded to recount someone else’s history that raised a few eyebrows. Jack was adopted as a baby. He wasn’t abused. And his badass father, Harper, wasn’t around until Jack was an adult. That’s a big boo boo!

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Leo’s selfishness

Last week in Deconstructing DOOL I wondered when we’d see Leander. About Xander’s reaction to Leo’s indecent proposal, Terrymck says, “Xander is enough of a man ho that he wouldn’t think twice about going gay for pay in order to get what he wants. I’m surprised Vic hasn’t thought of that as a way to permanently break up Sonny and Will…pay Xander to seduce Will and have Sonny walk in on them.” Good point. And I don’t know why Leo would care if Sonny dallied with Will, considering he’s propositioned Xander three times already! Leo’s just being selfish.

Does Gabi regret her actions or not?

Last week Gabi told JJ she felt remorse because gaslighting his sister ruined their friendship. That I understood, and when Stefan was threatening her with a fire poker, she told him she had no remorse for what she did. Fast forward to this Thursday and she told Stefan, “Like I said when you kidnapped me and tied me to this chair, I do feel ashamed.” What? No she didn’t. It never freaking happened.

That old Chabby magic

Chad and Abby’s chemistry had me almost rooting for them again this week, but Chad’s still not altogether present in his scenes, which is a shame. The kiss was a nice touch to show they’re still hot for each other, and Abigail maintaining that she’s not ready for more was very realistic but what was with that line, Abby told Chad? “I broke your trust when I slept with Stefan.” WTF? That was rape, not “sleeping with.” She said so herself on several occasions. Why change the story now?

More: Days promo showcases romance on the way

Classic Dr. Evans

I love seeing Marlena in her office with a patient and her therapy with Haley didn’t disappoint. Give us more of this!

Johnny needs Rafe

I really do feel for Hope since Rafe’s heading to see Sami and the kids. Neither seems to trust the other. Their marriage is in no position for them to be apart and yet I think it’s the right decision anyway. Rafe and Johnny have a special relationship and hopefully Rafe can turn the kid around. Don’t worry Hope. Ted’s still around…

More: Days promo, Ted kisses Hope

This is an opinion column filled with thoughts you may agree or disagree with, and I’d love you to respectfully provide your own comments below on this week’s episodes.

Best lines:

Sometimes the best lines come from the fans: elaine999, “So many nipples. So little time.”

John to Marlena, “Keep your mitts off my pancakes.”

Chad to Abigail, “Hammond hammond do, I like, what’s wh… I.”

Sonny’s text to Will, “Can’t meet up. Errand @ hospital & Voldemort insisted on coming. Sorry. ☹”

Melinda, “Someone around here has to pay for their crimes. I mean you have guilty people walking out of here left and right.”
Abe, “And whose fault is that? The last high profile victim you had is Gabi Hernandez. And she turned out to be innocent.”
Melinda, “You know whose fault that is? You and your incompetent police force.”

Eli, “This town is like the walking dead.”

Xander to Sheila, “I swear that I am John Black. And these guns [he flexes an arm] are registered to the ISA.”

Xander to Leo, “Be in my room in ten minutes. And bring alcohol. I’m going to need a stiff drink if I’m going to do this.”
Leo, “Oh I’ll bring something stiff!”

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