Beyond Salem Recap: Kristen Pulls a Fast One as Billie Meets Her Drag Queen Doppelganger
Wednesday, September 8, 2021: On the Days of Our Lives spinoff Beyond Salem, Chad issues a warning, Lani gets her man (in more ways than one), and a "nun" makes a very unholy move.
Declaring that everything is hotter in Miami, Eli and Lani start their morning by making love. Meanwhile, Paulina is annoyed when someone from the IRS shows up at her door but Shane explains he’s actually with the ISA. Abe is thrilled to reunite with his old friend, and Paulina gets the feeling she’s seen him before. When Eli and Lani join the others, Shane catches them up on the orange diamond’s origin. Sounding an awful lot like Golden Girls‘ Sophia Petrillo, he intones, “Picture this: The place is Alamania. The year, 1991… ”
Paulina doesn’t want to believe what Shane’s saying, but eventually says that once she gets her ring back, the Alamanian lawyers can call her if they want it back. But Paulina really loses her cool upon finding out that the guy who was arrested during the attempted robbery has been released! “What does ISA stand for?” she asks. “Ignorant Stupid Ass?” But it turns out Shane does have a plan: They hope to trail the bad guy to both his partner and the diamond. Quicker than you can say “out of their jurisdiction,” Eli and Lani agree to help Shane.
Once they’ve left, Abe tries to calm Paulina down, speculating that perhaps she’s so upset because the ring has something to do with the man from her past who had all the power and money in their relationship. He theorizes that “money is more than a system of exchange to you. It’s something that… makes you feel safe.” She admits it’s true, but says he, Lani, Eli and the babies are worth more than anything to her.
Shane’s plan works, with one bad guy leading him and Lani to the both his partner and the ring. But things quickly go south. Before Lani can be shot, Eli arrives and fires a bullet into the thug’s arm. With the robbers in custody, Shane reclaims the orange diamond… which will be good news to Paulina’s friend Michelle Obama, who calls to take her to task for having let it be stolen in the first place.
Kyle and Billie are thrilled to learn that one of the missing gems has been recovered. Kyle then asks if seeing Jackie Cox left Billie feel as if she was looking in a mirror. “Wait,” she sputters, “you think that drag queen looked like me?” With a sexy smile, Kyle says, “They do say that imitation is the most sincere form of flattery. And I happen to think that Miss Cox was, well, very attractive.”
Chad advises Leo against causing any more trouble for his pals Sonny and Will. “I’ve got my eye on you,” he warns. “Watching you right back,” quips an unintimidated Leo.
Even as John beats himself up for having let Anna outbid him at the auction, Austin presents Carrie with the sapphire necklace. (Now, why he decides to make this big, romantic gesture designed to save his marriage in front of Anna is another question!) “I wanted to show you that I know that what we have is priceless,” says Austin, “and I don’t want to take you for granted again.” Once alone with his mother-in-law, Austin admits he’s shocked by how far she went — and how much she bid — to get the necklace.
Having saved her daughter’s marriage, Anna says to God, “I’m sorry, but when it comes to working miracles, you’ve got nothin’ on me!” At that moment, someone knocks on the door and Anna opens it to find a ruler-clutching nun (Eileen Davidson in full Sister Mary Moira garb) declaring that she’s there to save Anna’s immortal soul from eternal damnation.
Mary explains that she is Susan Bank’s sister and EJ’s aunt, which makes her and Anna practically family. Having seen that Tony and Anna spent a pretty penny at the auction (“We do have WiFi at the convent,” Mary explains), the nun hopes they will be equally generous with a donation for the orphans. Anna writes a check
Tony tries to make peace with John and Marlena by bringing them a box of chocolates. Sure, it’s not the necklace they were hoping for, but they are very, very expensive chocolates! Not swayed, John says that he’s going to do whatever it takes to get that necklace so he can hand it over to Shane. Tony says Anna’s mind won’t be changed, but John says that if the wrong people find out Carrie has the necklace, her life will be in danger.
Having received a tip about Will’s big story, Billie and Kyle show up in Phoenix. She’s surprised to find Chad there… but not as surprised as Will and Sonny are when Leo interrupts their romantic moment in the shower! “What’s the big deal?” asks Leo, adding that Sonny “doesn’t have anything I haven’t seen before, and hubby here has plenty to spare.”
Later, Billie introduces Kyle to Will and Sonny. Her ham-fisted partner is all business, wanting to find out everything they know about the emerald… which means dealing with Leo (who dubs Kyle “sweet cheeks.”) After flirting with Kyle and pondering how Billie captures bad guys with such a killer manicure, Leo says his mysterious contact should be there any moment. The others dub him a con artist and insist nobody is actually going to show up, but at that moment the doorbell rings and in walks…
… drag queen Jackie Cox, in full Lisa Rinna attire. Billie (played, of course, by Rinna) says she has no clue who Jackie is supposed to be, admitting she’s never seen the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. Quickly tiring of the small talk, Jackie says she doesn’t have the jewel but knows where it will be tonight. Eventually, Jackie and Leo say they will take the others to the location, advising them to “dress it up a bit, let your spirits run free and don’t be afraid to let your inner Queer Eye For the Straight Guy out of the closet.”
John, Marlena and Tony arrive at Carrie and Austin’s apartment hoping to reclaim the message. John makes it clear he’s not particularly happy about Anna’s antics. Anna defends herself, but Carrie wants to do the right thing. But when she gives John the box in which the necklace had been stored, it’s missing! Finding out about Mary Moira’s visit, John quickly puts the pieces together. “That was no nun!” he declares. “It was Kristen DiMera!” And in a nearby park, Kristen strips out her disguise and declares, “God helps those who help themselves!”
Next on Beyond Salem: Ben and Ciara get a chance to party.
Want more Beyond Salem but can’t wait for tomorrow’s new episode? Why not check out these gorgeous photos of the cast!
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