Ex-wives Club. (Soaps.com)

These are the “Days” of my week for May 24-May 28:

Due to the pre-emption of DOOL Thursday, the episode I recapped for Friday will be posted Monday. However, my column may make more sense if you read Monday’s update, here. Feel free to do so or simply to read on.

It’s sad that there are no longer couples to root for. I could care less if any of the couples in Salem make a go of it. Are the storylines simply too plot driven instead of character driven? Whatever the reason, it’s a bit depressing. So is the fact that we’re on the edge of a new love triangle with Maggie, Victor and Vivian, and a new ‘who’s yo daddy’ storyline with Daniel, Chloe and Philly. Why, it’s a DOOL writer’s wet dream!

Thicky D:
I’ve had enough of the whiny conversations, the flashbacks to sex with Philly, the admissions to Daniel of guilt over ‘something’, and enough of the discussing of personal issues in public. I wouldn’t be surprised if Chloe spontaneously combusted soon.

He may be the best doctor Salem has seen but outside the hospital, Daniel’s pretty thick. He’s only enabling Chloe’s insecurities by rushing marriage. How embarrassing for Chloe was his faux pas for stealing Vivian and Victor’s thunder by announcing their own impending nuptials at their reception – and without even consulting the bride-to-be?

Me Tarzan, you Zombie Jane:
Carly, along with Maggie and Melanie, need to join a busybody support group. Carly learned Chloe’s ugly truth and decided her own life didn’t have enough high drama in it, so gave Chloe a few glaring looks and tried pressuring Chloe into spilling her secret, before hearing from Kate that Chloe has cheated on Lucas and ‘forced’ Brady into drugs (shakes head). Take my ‘what would you rather’ poll, where I ask If you’d rather put up with icy stares or just tell Daniel the truth!

Carly had to remind butthead Bo that if he killed Vivian it would be murder. She ought to know. And besides, she said, “You’ve a daughter to think about.” (She must have forgotten he has two more kids.) I thought I was ready for Bo’s return and thought I cared about Hope getting her man back but after witnessing his ‘Me Tarzan, you Jane’ persona with Carly, I’m cured.

Rafe’s arrest was an eye-roller. If the big bad FBI agent wanted to harm or do worse to Anna, he wouldn’t have saved her life and stood over her for hours on end, begging her to talk! The saving grace, we’re to assume, is that he wound up with a face from the past, Shane Donovan, as a cell mate. Before my time and if he’s before your time, feel free to read about Shane Donovan here. I don’t know the point in bringing back this character for a few days, nor do I know what country this is. Why hasn’t the show made note of it each time these scenes air?

Red Dogs:
Brady wondered why Ari didn’t fess up to being in a gang called “Red Dogs.” Really? Not only does it take years to get to know somebody, but why would Ari confess to being in a gang with a name some pre-schooler picked out? Jail-bird Ari is more exciting to me and how much fun is it that pretty-in-pink EJ DiMera wound up as her lawyer? This kicks this storyline up a few notches and is already working toward making me care for “Clifford The Big Red Dog,” Arianna. My only hope is that this isn’t a plot to further the Ejami storyline by making Samanther jealous of the time EJ spends with Arianna.