Deconstructing DOOL: Getting hot in here, so take off all your clothes
Salem Shenanigans from June 22 – 26:
You’re entering an all-expense paid trip to the rant-zone. Buckle your seatbelts. You’re in for a ride.
He has returned.
Stefano finally returned to Salem which is great, but seriously it took him this long to grease some judge’s palm to get his tax evasion charges dropped? Even Rafe and Hope wondered, “Why did he wait until now?” We’re guessing it’s all about “The Abigail Deveraux situation.” I can’t help but speculate that this has something to do with The Phoenix wanting another DiMera heir.
I don’t dislike Abigail, in fact she has never really irritated me. Some of her clothing raises my right eyebrow from time to time but still, it’s really a stretch to understand why Chad loves her since she has always been written so one dimensional. I can’t deny that his assessment of her is right, that if he wanted her he could have had her again in a heartbeat even on the DiMera grass with Ben eavesdropping. Either she doesn’t know how to be true to herself or she’s the type who is never satisfied and will always be looking to find the greener grass. Too bad there isn’t any. And now she has moved in with Ben and both are keeping huge secrets from each other. Her that she’s a cheating liar and his secret is that he’s a creepy stalker. Bedding her and then whispering, ‘she’s mine again’ reeks of desperation. It’s been hard enough suspending disbelief that Chad’s a badass DiMera overnight but turning Ben into a stalker when we barely know him anyway, makes it impossible to know if he’s a good guy who’s just insecure or if he’s quickly becoming another Liam Frasier. How is anyone supposed to get behind this couple when things have gotten this bad? They’re not exactly Bo and Hope.
Bev doesn’t waste any time.
Bev didn’t waste more than three seconds making out with JJ after hearing he and Paige were history because he did Paige’s mamma. Did that somehow turn Bev on? I mean who in the world is that desperate that after they hear that news they want in on that action? Gross. And Paige who has been hurt more than anyone in Salem possibly ever has, already has a Tinder profile and is swiping right? Is she seriously of the same mind as Ben that she has to find someone to screw the JJ out of her?
Death makes people do stupid things.
Last week in Deconstructing DOOL I complained that the writers rewrote the Ericole scenes from last January when the duo was gassed by Chyka. This week, Eric and Nicole stared death in the face and made out and groped each other despite it. They also admitted they believe to be the love of each other’s lives. Then they promptly passed out and Danny-boy came to the rescue. Instead of pulling their hot bodies (in more than one way) out into the cool air, Daniel held Nicole close to him, sharing his own body heat. When he realized she had no pulse, he shared his new CPR technique.
1) If there are no signs of life, yell at patient.
2) If patient does not respond, start CPR.
So is Nic Nic still in love with Dr. Dan? Has Eric flipped his “I love Nicole” switch back on or was that just the heat talking? I’m thankful they didn’t have sex. What they did was enough. But alas, now we’re back to the dreaded love triangle. Did you guys miss it? Let’s take a vote. Are you glad there’s another Dan/Nic/Eric love triangle?
Some don't need the threat of death to do stupid things.
I'm talking about our dear young William of course. He played with fire and got burned. It happened pretty fast, too. Who can't wait for Monday to find out what Sonny's going to do about his little lying husband? How exciting!
Sentenced to death.
The scenes with Victor sentencing Xander to death were interesting. In the end he showed mercy, but something tells me this isn't the end of our friend Xander!
Gee no romance spared here.
It’s hard to believe that John and Marlena’s long-lived romance has come to this:
John: "Are we okay? I realize I’ve been blaming you for something that doesn't even matter now."
Marlena: "Through it all I never stopped wanting to..."
John: "I know, I feel the same.”
Gee “Days” writers. Don’t make me swoon. I’m all a-flutter. To be honest, I couldn’t remember if these two had reunited or not, it’s been so long since we’ve seen them together in a scene, let alone as a couple. How sad.
That’s all I’ve got. Be sure to leave a comment with your own thoughts in the comments section!
Best lines of the week:
Anne, “Why not empty out a dresser drawer and stick little Tater-tot in there?”
Photo credit: Howard Wise/JPI
- Christine Fix