Credit: The big reveal... (NBC Universal Inc.)

Salem Shenanigans from March 16 – 20:

Though we finally learned what was in the infernal elephant statue, and Kate was booted out of DiMera Enterprises, it didn’t feel like much really happened. Let’s discuss.

Not even one green beer.
Another St. Patrick’s Day rolled on by without the Brady family celebrating. How sad!! What would Grandpa Shawn say?

Last week’s slapping trend continued into this week when Adrienne gave Justin a soundless one across the noggin for admitting he’s been getting into Elsa’s knickers and can’t stop right now. Last week in Deconstructing DOOL I still held hope that Justin was faithful. I said “…his reaction appears as though there’s something he can’t tell her. Otherwise why not just admit it or deny it?” It’s sad that he’s been written this way especially since we already have another cheating storyline going on but I guess it’s not shocking considering he and Adrienne barely seem to talk anymore. I think it hurt more for her that he wouldn’t dump Elsa because he couldn’t risk having his business deal fall apart. He sounds like Will.

Who’s your daddy?
So Will claims a DiMera is Paul’s father. But who? Stefano? Tony? Andre? Peter Blake? To give Stefano yet another son doesn’t feel right at this point so my money’s on Tony though what do I know? Maybe he’s Bart’s son! No matter who it is, it’s disgusting that Will is using this for yet another story on Paul when he should me more concerned with grovelling for forgiveness from his husband. It doesn’t bode well that during Sonny’s time away his husband turned into his mother. If that doesn’t push Sonny into Paul’s arms the expose will.

Bored meeting.
The board meeting started out boring and confusing to begin with though Kate looked pretty snazzy in her Ted Baker power suit. Shame it didn’t do her any good because she mistakenly put her faith in Chad and then Stefano and Victor set her up. I have to admit it was admirable that Kate gave Stefano kudos on a dirty deed well done and then she basically sighed and told Victor she’ll just get another job. Where will she live though? Kate needs her own executive style home, not another dreary Salem Inn suite or a shotty Salem apartment. Even Jordan had her own apartment and she was on the show for five minutes. I digress. It’s no surprise that Stefano set up his own son having done it with EJ and Kristen time and time again. It’s a learning ritual all DiMera kids are obligated to experience. Chad took it well.