Standing up for herself. (NBC Universal Inc.)

Salem Shenanigans from March 9 – 13:

Everyone’s been so slap-happy lately and those who aren’t slapping each other around are too busy to watch where they’re walking or ruminating over people who couldn’t care less about them. Oy.

Goodbye Jordan.
Jordan dragged that letter around with her all week as a way of telling people about her new job instead of using her mouth to form words to explain it. She left Salem without much fanfare though she did share a tender scene with Rafe. That was some kiss! The song they danced to was a “Days” original from Brent Nelson called My True Love.

How odd was it for Clyde to offer Jordan money to set her up in New York?

“The road may be bumpy but it’s worth the ride.”
I like how Stefano questioned Kate’s taste in men since he was one of many. It was surprisingly dare I say almost sweet -gag- when he gave Kate that fortune cookie? I wouldn’t say they’re a fan fave coupling but at least they know where each other stands. Do you think Clyde’s that stupid that he really thinks Victor has rolled over and played dead where the drug business is concerned?

Kate’s ‘grab for control’.
The big board meeting is upon us and we’ve no idea who is going to come out on top since it appears as though both Kate and Stefano have something up their sleeves. Is Stefano really in Victor’s debt? Is Victor really screwing Stefano or Kate over? It’s like a game and nobody knows the outcome. I love when “Days” surprises us. It’ll be exciting to find out who takes over the company and if the Salem PD gets wind of Stefano’s return to Salem and tries to haul his ass in for tax evasion.

Since Lauren Koslow’s Skype interview went over so well, we went on set to ask her about Kate’s grab for control, the upcoming board meeting from hell, and her love life in this new interview with Lauren Koslow. Koslow even dishes on that blue power suit she showed up at the meeting in on Friday.

Out of curiosity here’s this week’s Days Poll: Who are you rooting for?

An adult.
In a turn of events, Melanie told Brady off for trying to change her. Great scene and perfect timing.

Range of emotions.
Theresa spent the week flitting between moping over Brady and gloating to JJ about screwing up. We thought it was bad when Anne started Happy Hour at work last week but Theresa carried on the tradition and left work during office hours to get soused. We got to see Mandrake again which must mean Kristen’s finally on her way back to Salem. Mandrake asked for Clint to ‘finish it’ with Brady and Theresa but is that what Kristen wants? To kill Brady? The plot thickens.

Dear Abby:
In a strange scene Nicole asked Aiden to tell her how he got Hope from disliking him to falling in love with him. She’s finally learning that her boobs and Bieber hairstyle aren’t cutting it but can’t figure out what else to do to get Dr. Dan. Aiden should have told her she can’t fast track love. Their relationship is pretty one-sided right now. Maybe she needs to play hard to get or stop playing altogether. The chase is getting old.

Elephants.
Serena kind of sucks ass at switching these damned statues. Even a child could have pulled this off by now.

Just a guess…
Jarlena got a whole five seconds canvas time full of kisses to prove to the viewers that they’re still on the show, still a couple, and still in love, though we never actually see it. Once again the plot-driven storyline rears its head which makes us think the couple will be destroyed (again) once Marlena finds out that (speculation) John had an affair with Tori.