Deconstructing DOOL Weekly Blog
New club. (NBC Universal Inc.)
Salem Shenanigans from January 12 – 16:
I love “Days,” whether or not they’re having issues and right now, there are mountains of them. There’s a rant bubbling up inside me this week that’s about to erupt.
Go back to Poplar Bluff.
Clyde had run-ins with Rafe, Victor, and Jordan this week and we’re waiting on the edge of our seats until somebody finally offs the hillbilly. This is why “Days” should stop taping six months in advance. They need to know when to cut their losses quickly, before they lose viewers. The big shocker of the week was that Jordan forgot her mamma was pregnant with Clyde’s hillbilly spawn when she died and Clyde thinks she killed them on purpose. When we have never been introduced to the mother and most viewers cannot stand the rest of the family, it makes a big reveal such as that fall a little flat. The whole two hours that Jordan “went missing” had Anne and Abigail in a tizzy and Ben worrying his sister wouldn’t forgive him for not revealing something he legally could not reveal. Yawn. The whole ‘Clyde’s a horrible villain’ but we’ve never actually seen it makes us as blasé as Abigail about Jordan moving on and accepting that it doesn’t really matter who donated the cash but that it’ll do some good to seniors who can’t get to a doctor for medical assistance. Anne and Kate were the only two who made these scenes even bearable to watch.
Go back to Europe.
This Serena character is just as boring as the hillbillies from Poplar Bluff. Is it wrong that all I wanted Nicole to do at the new club opening was to pull Serena’s red hair out by the roots? Does anyone care about the photo of the King Vulture or why she has the half nude photo of Eric in bed?
Rather chew glass.
John and Marlena got two whole minutes of airtime this week because the hillbillies took up the rest of the week, and all they discussed was the possibility of retirement and Marlena repeating her same old line about how she’d “rather chew glass.” At least John accepted the job with SPD which could mean the possibility of decent storylines ahead for him and Hope and John reconnecting as partners.
Career change could be fun.
Some are finding themselves glad Rafe lost his job, figuring he might be able to have a more exciting life as a nightclub owner or at least be seen more than the hillbilly clan. Maybe.
Make it stop.
Just when we thought we might see the last of the awkwardness between Brady and Melanie there’s seemingly no end in sight. This can’t go on. Either they need to get over how ‘weird’ it is that they’re into each other or just go back to being friends. Brady’s too old for this childishness. And Maggie berating the two for dating just made things worse.
Wardrobe leaves a lot to be desired.
From Will’s ugly flowered shirts and vests, Paige’s grandma clothes, Melanie’s 80s off the shoulder sweater dresses, her 90s cowgirl outfits and too ridiculously high heels, Eve’s 90s ratty, groupie, bedazzled, horrifically beaded, skintight dresses and teeny matchy matchy jackets, Anne’s unlimited supply of wrap dresses, Serena’s trashy red or blue sparkly skintight dresses, to the tacky lace blouses, Nicole just may be the best dressed, even in feathers. Who misses Sami’s wardrobe?
The new nameless nightclub.
Sonny declined Victor’s offer of a new nightclub in order to make it on his own. Hopefully TBD can keep him in diapers for Arianna and Will (grin) because otherwise they’re screwed since young William can’t make more than $150 bucks from each expose and he uses all of that to buy all those horrible shirts and vests. Should Sonny have swallowed his pride and taken the club? Vote! Days Poll: What should Sonny do? Here’s a better question: Should Will get a fulltime job in addition to the writing gig? Here’s the answer: A resounding “YES!” Better than using credit cards to make ends meet. Not good.
We know Chad’s up to something where Jordan’s concerned but now it appears he has feelings for the hillbilly. Otherwise why would he tell Kate off for disrespecting her? It sounded hilarious coming from him. He was so desperate to have Kate believe he was as commanding as Stefano or EJ but Chad couldn’t command a dog to sit. What’s he going to do if she calls Jordan an airhead again? Maybe that scene would have worked better if we’d seen just what Chadsworth thinks he can do.
May as well take an ad out in the Salem Spectator.
All Eve and JJ do is meet in “private locations” such as public parks and woods where anyone can walk by and overhear Eve badger JJ not to tell Paige the truth about them having sex or JJ threatening to tell Paige they had sex. We’re tired of the wasted scenes from two half-wits. When the truth comes out it’ll be almost a blessing.
Does Eve really think that Jennifer wouldn’t have already been pounding on her door and maybe even her face if she knew JJ had sex with Eve? Jenn's been too busy asking her son inappropriate questions such as whether or not he used protection when he cheated on Paige. Boundaries, Jenn. Boundaries! Not that her question wasn’t valid or one we haven’t pondered ourselves. It’s doubtful they used protection but hopefully Eve’s not pregnant because that would spell disaster. Maybe the Salemites should donate their resources for a bus ticket for Eve to go back to L.A.!
A slice of life.
Last week in Deconstructing DOOL I mentioned that Abigail and Ben professed their love to one another. It was a far cry from Hope admitting to her “cuz” that she loves Aiden. It was a nice scene. They started by discussing a movie they’d seen, their book club, and then how much Hope missed Gran. It felt like old school “Days,” and even furthered the story a bit.
Flicker of doubt.
So far I believe in Aiden, mostly because I don’t want to believe that the writers would hurt Hope by turning Aiden into a psycho. Not everyone agrees with my assessment. If I’m wrong, I’ll gladly eat humble pie. Hope advised Aiden to keep the beach house since Chase loves it so much but um since when do kids dictate what their parents can and can’t do? It almost made Aiden snapping at her understandable. Chase will live if Aiden sells the house. Later, her scene with Abe, which was supposed to be a little flicker of doubt coming to light only made her look a little bit dense when she told Abe she didn’t know Aiden as well as she knew Bo. You could hear the word ‘Duh’ when Abe said it takes time to get to know somebody.
That’s all I’ve got – take it with a grain of salt and please, feel free as always to leave a comment or two of your own about this week’s Salem happenings! Don’t be shy!
Best lines of the week:
Victor to Clyde: “You should go back to ‘Assbend’ Missouri."
Chad to Kate: "What was that song and dance about?"
Kate : "I couldn't carry a tune in a bucket."
Chad: "Aw shucks, you sound just like Clyde."
Kate to Chad about protecting the hospital: “Those two airheads could barely run a hair dryer together.”
Kate: “If that woman ever had an idea it would die of loneliness.”
Jenn to her son JJ, about him cheating on Paige: "Tell me that you used protection."
- Christine Fix