Holidays with the Hortons. (NBC Universal Inc.)

Salem Shenanigans from December 22 – 26:

Dustin Cushman here filling in for Christine Fix while she’s on vacation. Tis the season in Salem for Horton balls and the reading of The Christmas Story. “DOOL” aired a new episode every day this week, though due to the holidays the storylines really didn’t advance at all. Let’s get to dishing the week that was.

Big bad Clyde.
Both Chad and Rafe are out to save the fair maiden Jordan from each other and from her hayseed father Clyde. I wish someone would save us from this story. That’s all I have to say about it.

You’ll want to shoot your eyes out.
JJ and Eve’s venomous confrontation once again resulted in the two having sex. The first time was bad enough, so come on! After JJ went off on Eve and told her that he hated her and one day Paige would hate her too, I actually found myself feeling sorry for Eve. Don’t worry, that feeling didn’t last long. However for a moment we saw a glimpse of the damaged Eve who wants desperately to be loved, even if by the wrong person. That was the Eve from long ago who I fell in love with. JJ on the other hand, I don’t feel one bit sorry for him at all. I see no way for JJ and Paige to make their relationship work at this point, though Jack and Jenn did after he bedded Laura, so who knows. Take Soaps.com’s Days Poll: JJ should?

A man like me.
“Days” has been beating the viewers over the head with the idea that Aiden is hiding a dark secret, and Doug’s trip down memory lane this week was the icing on the cake being thrown in our face. Hope seems to attract men like this, from Franco to Patrick Lockhart to her original fiancé Larry Welsh. Bo was there to save her every time before, but I don’t think he’s going to be able to this time. I was really beginning to like Hope and Aiden as a couple, so I do not like that they are turning around and repeating history again.

Liar liar pants on fire.
Will and Sonny are headed for major trouble as we approach their first anniversary. They are working my last nerves lately and I want to shake them both. I didn’t think Will’s lie about why he came home was all that awful, not in comparison to Sonny constantly contacting his ex. However Will not taking Ari to see Gabi was lower than low. Now we have Sonny skimming money from their joint account to pay debts for his new club. Oh brother! Eventually one of these two is going to end up in a compromising situation with Paul, we can see this coming from a mile away.

Saint Serena and Father Finicky.
Serena is simply too nice and too perfect, so she has to have one hell of a hidden past. If and when whatever she is hiding is exposed one has to wonder how Eric will react. Lord knows Eric’s standards are impossible for a mortal to maintain. His constant focus on Nicole as the destroyer of his life has completely turned me against the two as a couple. Don’t get me wrong, Nicole is no saint, but Eric isn’t just beating the dead horse, he’s jumping up and down on its grave daily. I’m over feeling bad for him.