Credit: Nu-Chad. (NBC Universal Inc.)

Salem Shenanigans from September 15 – 19:

Salemites spent the week making a conscious effort to get what they want. There were a few surprises. Let’s get right to it.

Let’s get on with it.
Eric’s really hating/getting off on fantasizing about having angry sex with Nicole. Hair pulling, face eating…why fantasize when he can have the real thing? This story is staler than the bread found in King Tut’s tomb.

“Wild” kegger party.
The cops in Salem must have been bored out of their minds to waste their time breaking up Salem’s “wild” kegger party. That has to be the most sober and quiet – boring – kegger there ever was. There were maybe ten students and when they said it’d be held off campus we all thought it’d be in a trashy house with an old dilapidated sofa that doesn’t match the cheap marked up coffee table. Not at the lake! The only thing out of control about the party was Dana. Why does a hooker have a full prescription of rohypnol? What kind of hijinks does she get up to with her clients? Poor Paige looked nervous and constipated when JJ asked after a mere three minutes there if she was having a good time. The fact that she was sober and that stick’s still lodged up her arse proved she wasn’t having any fun. He told her they could wander off to a quiet spot and be alone. Because that’s why you go to keggers. For alone time.

“Chadwick” arrived home unrecognizable but EJ only noticed the “gangsta” brandishing an empty gun at his noggin. It looks as though Stefano’s been grooming Chad to become more DiMeraesque since EJ turned in his black gloves. Did Stefano send Chad home to neutralize Sami and Kate? Matt and I were hopeful that Chad and Kate would wind up in bed to make the trifecta complete but it’s more likely he’ll pine after Abigail a while and maybe get involved with Jordan.

A list of people nu-Chad resembles according to viewers:

Nicholas Cage
Brandon Beemer
Shia LeBeouf
James McAvoy
Last week in Deconstructing “DOOL” I said, At a glance, nu-Chad looks more like Nick Fallon than the original.

Let’s give the new kid a chance and see what he has to do with this role.

Too much machismo and victimization of women.
How many times can Ben go into protective mode with Abigail? He has “saved her” from Nick, EJ, and Chad and he needs to just stop the unappealing machismo attitude. Rafe’s always had that white knight complex and EJ has tried to protect Sami countless times. Now Chad came to Jordan’s rescue when creepy Jeremiah came on to her. At least he didn’t take out his unloaded gun and threaten to off him. Gah. Does every man have to be written the same? Can at least some of the women stand on their own two feet without a man coming to their rescue?

Does Rafe now have competition? Chad looked interested in super passive, dispassionate Jordan…He has a type. There isn’t a lot of difference between the characters of Jordan and Abigail.

Lucas asked Ben if he thought Jordan and Rafe were really through, but when asked if he was really asking for permission to date his sister, Lucas was quick to point out that he didn’t want to be the rebound guy again. So why ask?!
Weigh in. Days Poll: Who should Lucas be with?

Here he comes to save the day!
Daniel was conveniently at Jennifer’s doorstep at some ungodly hour just in time for JJ to do the zombie-walk home. Then it was once again, Dr. Dan to the rescue. We’ve been down this path so many times… It’s worse torture than water boarding. In an amazing feat, Dan tested JJ for drugs, the drug test results came back five seconds later for roofies, and it took JJ five more seconds to realize he was set up. It was impressive. JJ would make a better detective than the whole Salem police force. Was all of this a set up to make Jennifer once again find out Daniel’s keeping secrets from her about her kid so they can fight some more?