Nic hissing at Kristen. (NBC Universal Inc.)

Deconstructing “DOOL” from September 16 – 20:

Lots to rant and rave about this week. On with the blog!

What the heck?
Kayla’s been hanging around with too many cops and the once highly respected Chief of Staff at University Hospital changed all that in one dense move when she opened her big yap to Chad about his health issues and sent him into shock that she knew of his “tumour.” Not that he has one but the consultation she had with Cameron was confidential. Since Chad’s not her patient, she should have kept it to herself. Who he tells or doesn’t tell about his “illness” is none of her business. Not that he has one, but it doesn’t matter. On to Chad…

Bad to the bone!
Chad’s flying his DiMera flag high which makes for an entertaining story except it’s going to hurt poor unsuspecting Abigail. The DiMera’s no smooth talker like his big brother EJ, but his post-sex banter was amusing and cringe-worthy. Here, he asks if she had an orgasm and if he was good in bed. Oy. “So. Did you um… was I ah? Was I?” Then when she replied, “Yes, and yes,” that he was all that and a bag of chips, he called her a “total pro.” Gah. It didn’t end there…”It’s not like you needed an instruction manual.” Holy crap. Just shhh! On to his lies: He misled Cam, making up this elaborate lie about the tumour in order to throw him off so he could what? Get the girl or get the girl into bed? Either way, dude’s got nothing upstairs. He didn’t think it through. He should have asked EJ for advice on such a big falsehood. Eventually Cameron’s going to figure out he’s not sick and then the jig’s up. I guess he didn’t read Stefano’s “How to trick people and become an evil DiMera the right way” handbook.

Abigail.
Though what Chad is doing to Abigail is sick, it’s a little hard to care. She’s been acting way too much like her mother, trash talking Jack’s memory and telling JJ he’s just like their father, abandoning them, and she was stringing both Chad and Cameron along for months before Cameron had to choose Chad for her. It’s hard to respect such a waffler. And I’m with Gabi. Abby shouldn’t tell her mother she had sex with Chad. It was enough we had to sit through her telling the Gabster.

Meddling Maggie.
Does she really think Daniel doesn’t have a life without Jennifer? She blathered on and on about Daniel and Jenn and he didn’t snap. Man’s a freaking saint.

What?
Stefano told Kate it was a beautiful day – for him, after he got his family back, but she disagreed with him since Sami’s in court and Rafe’s in therapy because of him. Rafe’s actually not in therapy because of Stefano. That’s because of Jenson. “I wonder if you ever really knew me,” he said. How’s that?

Jordan is human?
I like Rafe. I’m getting to the point where I’m not sure he and Kate really could make a go of things. Out of bed they’ve really nothing in common. She’s almost too much of a woman for him. He needs to wear the pants in the family and nobody wears the pants, except maybe for Stefano at one time. There’s no touching, kissing and she hasn’t climbed into his bed. At this point I’m not sure why they’re still together. I still don’t know how to feel about Jordan. She’s boring, she’s snarky, and she’s really got no personality. Sure, it was funny to have her make a joke, but at the expense of her patient’s girlfriend? It made her look unprofessional, and immature. Rafe was worse. He was disloyal. I’m so over this storyline.

Tag team.
Nicole’s decision to help Marlena get the dirt on Kristen came back to bite her in the rump, and now meddling Maggie and Brady think she’s got a problem with alcohol. Great. We can see where this is going. If Father Eric thinks he had sex with Nicole, and it appears that he does, she’s really in it. Victor and Marlena better step up their game and find out who Kristen was calling out the night Eric was ill.

Did you love Nicole and Krissy’s catty scene? See the photo of Nicole hissing and clawing at her.