Fail. (Soaps.com)

Deconstructing “DOOL” for the week of January 16-20:

We had a few big reveals this week. We learned Abby’s fantasies make us queasy, Sami’s a mole, Madison has hideous taste in dresses, and Daniel’s leaving Salem for a while. The big concern for me was John feeding Marlena no name cereal. Should we be worried that there was no product placement? Maybe, but for now let’s worry about the clothes on John’s back and other trivialities.

Less is more.
Sure it’s superficial but I know you’ll understand… I cannot tell you how much I dislike John’s ‘mock turtle neck’ shirt and cheap jeans. Get him into a suit and into the office. And please, enough with his trademark catch phrase which is used altogether too often this time around. “That’s a fact.” Less is more.

The mole.
Sami’s ego has been stroked begrudgingly for the better part of the week by Kate. It’s almost a shame that Sami’s taking Kate for a ride considering they seem to work together so well. I’m not much of a fan of a newcomer besting my Kate. Sure, some will argue that Kate never gets comeuppance but that’s the beauty of a villainess in soaps. The moment they do, they lose their edge and who wants to see a kind villainess? We’ve got a Carrie Brady already. Bleh. I can’t even use that line anymore. All in all, the story is well executed though Madison’s scheme seems a little tame for a Salemite, so I’ll assume there’s much more going on than meets the eye.

Best line comes from Sami and Marlena debating Sami’s mothering skills. Sami reminded Marlena, “You’ve been telling me to get a job since I was sixteen and now I have one.” Enough said.

Hiring out.
I don’t know whether to poke fun of them or applaud them. Abe wanted Bo and Hope to crack down on crime. He didn’t say so but the words ‘for once’ lingered on his tongue. Or maybe that was my tongue. Bo decided the best way to do that was to hire out. He went to Rafe, the cop Roman fired a few weeks ago. Hrm.

Stroking the key.
After once again watching Hope rub that key like it was a lucky rabbit’s foot, I told Matt, “I think that key gets more action from Hope than Bo does these days.” Best response of the week from Matt, “Don’t be lewd.” I’m still laughing. For those who haven’t read Matt’s Musings, sometimes I almost have to rate them xxx!