Hello, Everyone. Corbin posted this around 1:20 this morning:
"Tough day. Really tough. Missed mom more than you can imagine, and was reminded of her at every turn, every corner. Spent some time with the good folks and friends at Young and Restless, first having a good ole cry and then trying to figure out "what to do." I mean, mom's been a presence in that building and on that show for 40 years. You can't just say, "oh well, it was a good ride!" So we dealt with stuff, some of the what I'm now calling "mechanics of death." Stuff you gotta deal with even while grieving.
Over on the spiritual ball field I tried to find "signs" that she was okay - stupid stuff. Okay, I did see a pretty amazing butterfly and an incredible garden of roses while listening to George Jones' amazing song "Bed of Roses." I also saw an incredible rainbow tonight... maybe... All in all I might of worked it too hard and just didn't let go. Faith was also tested. Too many times the question, "what if this is it, the rest... a manufacture of our minds to ease the pain?" It's okay, faith is strengthened when tested. I say bring it. Clearly all over the map tonight but that is a true reflection of where I'm at today. Just letting it flow through, work it's way through my veins, sweat it out. Sorry if it's pouring out on you.
I had been thinking of writing a book for some time now (well before mom became ill) So many thoughts and shapes that I wanted to put into words regarding faith, family, and community that have become new cornerstones of my life and, to be a bit lofty, solutions for a hurting world. But I waited to begin writing as I generally do. I have no need, no deadline or financial gain in doing so, I do it for me and and for us. So I can afford to wait until that exact moment where pen must hit paper and I'm no longer in control. While my mom was battling these last few days it became clear, almost an "order," that I should start writing the day after she passes (and it was certain by then that she would pass soon.) But today came and went and I didn't begin. But I still have a few hours so I will do so here, and then perhaps copy and paste a few days from now. I tend to follow through on promises made, especially to self. It has also become clear how it must begin, and I think goes something like this...
My mother died yesterday, May 8, 2013 at 9:50 A.M. Pacific Standard Time. And while the weight of the moment crashed down on me, crushing me; "the end," I knew in my heart that was false. Categorically false! A journey I had begun several years earlier simply hit another milestone, though one so powerful that it would bring all the uncategorized shapes and rough edges of a lifetime into a single, concise focus and reference point; not "the end," but a "true beginning."
I feel better already."
I would love Corbin to write that book he spoke of, and maybe someday he will. I know he has so many wonderful memories of his mother and some great stories to tell. My prayers and thoughts are with him, Collin, Caren and their entire family. Through them, Wilma Jeanne Cooper's legacy will continue. And, all of us on this YR board will always remember Jeanne as Brock's Duchess, the great Katherine Chancellor. She may be gone, but she will never ever be forgotten.