Is Mariah Sharon's? (CBS)

Yep. (CBS)

Spying on Genoa City for the week of July 14 - 18:

This week, much like the past 3 years, has been flat, dry, and uninspiring. The storylines move so s l o w l y and characters have this subdued energy. There’s a running theme in Genoa City that people just can’t seem to let go and move on which makes for no escapism for fans. The stories aren’t there. It may be promoted as the highest rated soap but how many fans are watching out of habit more than anything? Please weigh in and let know why you continue to watch Y&R and leave a comment about your thoughts of the GC goings on this week.

Jack did the right thing, showing up for this ridiculous farce of a wedding. Instead of alienating his “daughter,” he made the right choice and walked Summer down the aisle with Nick. Still, it was almost a crime that they felt forced to defend Austin when the coppers stopped the wedding. Meh.

Insurance fraud.
This storyline isn’t very juicy so far except that it’s good to see two strong women in scenes together. Lauren would have done well not to have welcomed ole Colin into the family business. You know he’s only going to mess things up. They may be strong but on this subject, they’re a bit daft.

Who is Mariah?
It’s time to get the skinny on Mariah’s past. Are you concerned that it’ll go something like this: Mariah is somehow really Sharon’s kid, that Ian somehow stole at birth and somehow Sharon didn’t know she was carrying twins. Hopefully that’s not what’s coming but with Mariah’s mother arriving in CG this August, one wonders what we’re in for.

The mysterious case of the lipstick.
There's really nothing worth discussing this week concerning this storyline. It's dragging on... and on...and on...Out with the revelation already. The clocks a tickin'.

Names: Jack and Kelly
Location: Snoresville.

Cady McClain’s a brilliant actress, hilarious and yet Kelly has zero personality and nothing compels us to care for her let alone her relationship with Jack. Why bring in such a heavy hitter if not to use her to the best of her ability? Maybe when Phyllis wakens from the coma we’ll see some changes. Anything but this shrinking violet.

Y&R does love to dangle a carrot in front of us for a full year before giving us a bite.
After an entire year, we now know a bit of Ben's history and that he and Kelly are siblings. My how far we’ve come from thinking they were married. We also know Ben stole someone’s identity and he’s a murderer. Even though Kelly spilled to Jackie Boy, it’s probably just the tip of the iceberg. Let’s get a move on and tell the rest of the story already. We’re not getting any younger.

Viewers are still getting used to Nu-nu-Billy. It’d be easier if the writers would tweak his dialogue more to match Billy Miller’s Billy. Sadly, the show hasn’t selected a replacement for Michael Muhney yet, so it’s likely we’re looking at several months until that story with Adam goes anywhere. That’s “Y&R” for ya. Dangle that carrot!

Cricket and Paul.
Who discusses whether or not to have a baby at the office? And maybe they should hold off on having a kid. Paul’s got a lot to wrap his head around with the news that Dylan’s his son. The man needs some space. Besides, it’s not as though the kid would ever see its parents since they’re both workaholics.

“Saint Nikki.”
Drama queen? Fragile alcoholic? No matter how fans view her, Nikki needs a friend and therapist. Without Katherine or AA will she resume drinking? She’s thisclose to diving off the wagon and into a bottle of Grey Goose over this ridiculous lawsuit of Ian’s, not to mention her MS issues. It actually could be more fun to see than watching what we’re subjected to otherwise. Some viewers have to dive into a bottle themselves just to get through a week of watching this show... but I digress. It’s gotten so bad that Nikki actually thinks her diary is somehow concrete proof that Ian has caused her stress. Did she have a secret drinky before handing the journal over to Michael? Shouldn’t Michael have told her that the defense would argue that she could have written it yesterday? What planet are these people on?

Some things aren’t for sharing.
Ew. Whether or not Devon and Hilary AKA Miss Low Rent and Looney (special thanks to BronzeBritBabe for that) are good together, you don’t do your daddy’s wife even if she is a yummy mummy. For some reason many of us thought they’d try harder than an entire week to maintain their willpower but at the first chance got down and dirty in the laundry room where anyone could and did walk in on them. Hilary proclaimed her love for her new husband to Cane but her actions moments before told another story. She should thank her lucky stars Miss High and Mighty Lily wasn’t the one to catch them in the act. Lily’s disparaging comments have already gone way past the point of disrespect for her father, even if she’s right. It’s time to just let Hilary ruin herself and be there for her dad when he needs her. Since Neil’s been dumbed down beyond belief, he’s going to need all the support he can get when he learns the truth so that he doesn’t drown his sorrows in Nikki’s bottle of Grey Goose. As Candi said last week in her Restless Rant, “It's not realistic that someone who has been around the block, and who has been burned before, is not seeing the signs right in front of him.” You said it, sister. I didn’t even want to bring this up but what if Hilary becomes pregnant? Oy.

Incidentally, this is not the first time something like this has happened in a GC family. Check out yesterday’s Y&R Throwback Thursday to find out who else aside from Jill and Katherine had this now recycled ‘keep it in the family’ storyline in the past!

It’s always good to see Traci but here we go again with this altogether too familiar theme of mourning over a dead child. Really, it feels as though that’s all “Y&R” is about anymore. It’s very dark. The best part of Traci’s return was seeing her tell Abby to look to herself for happiness. Excellent advice even if it’s a tough sell for our ditzy Abby.

Another one who isn’t happy.
Sure it’s with good reason that Kevin's unhappy and blah blah blah but he’s so much better than the storylines he’s given. All I have to say about this is thank goodness it appears as though he’s moving on from Chloe and hopefully – hopefully into an exciting storyline. We miss Chloe but it's time to move the story along.

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- Christine Fix