Restless Rant
Week of October 27 - 31:

Who's hoping Jeffrey and Gloria will fall into a vat of tainted face cream? Moi! Make no mistake, I thoroughly enjoy these characters and the actors who portray them, but this has become the mother of all dragged-out storylines - enough already! Other storylines are also stretching our patience - why is it that the writers seem to have characters endlessly repeating their most un-entertaining behaviorisms?! I never want to see Jeffrey threaten Glo with that cream ever again, nor do I want to hear the zombie-like Victor tell someone he just wants to be alone, nor do I want to ever see Lily giggle, sulk, or stomp out of a room like a teeny-bopper again! Stop the madness! I'm afraid I just haven't enjoyed the show much this past week, although with Y&R I can always find positives! Here goes:

It's awesome having Marge back and enjoying Jeanne Cooper's range - such an amazing actress! I'm looking forward to the twists and turns this will bring about for Katherine. But what's up with that witch Jill? She is just the biggest bully! Feigning concern one moment, and plotting to save her own skin, and keep Katherine's memoirs from being published by having her declared incompetent, the next minute! I always found something to admire in the Jill character in years past, but now there is no other side to her - just a crabby, selfish woman! Even her love for her sons has an undercurrent of an agenda! Let's pair up Amber and Esther to bring Jill down! Katherine also has the devious Gloria and Jeffrey to deal with, who even as they team up, become further apart. Between his threats, and now Gloria's seeming sympathy for Katherine, this is one doomed duo! I just wish they'd get on with it. The endless specter of the face cream has become a total turn-off. It was a nice twist to have Jeffrey notice Marge drunk in the bar and assume it was Katherine - there's hope for this plotline yet!

Not a word from these main players this week. Asking again - continuity please!

Heather: The 'Ditz in the D.A.'s Office' was up to her usual tricks this week. Paying visits without warrants, asking questions she has no business asking, trying her best to intimidate everyone in her path (including her own boyfriend), and on the whole being a terrible A.D.A.! The whole exchange between her and Phyllis at the tackhouse was bizarre at best. Anyone familiar with the Phyllis character knows that Heather wouldn't have got further than the doorknocker! Since when does Phyllis become all self-doubting and vulnerable when confronted? Since never, that's when! It's when she's cornered that her real defense mechanisms come out - Heather should have left there in tears! To have Summer tattle about the bugs and Heather leave with a smirk was unsatisfying and utterly ridiculous! Then, about, oh, two days after everyone else figured it out, Heather shows up at Newman Enterprises bragging that she's linked Victor to the Chateau fire in France, only to have Nikki Newman throw her bag o' bugs back in her face! She followed that up by telling Brad that the charges against him had been dropped - because both Walter and David were dead. Only weeks ago, she put him on notice that he was in deep doo-doo for exactly that same reason - there was no one to clear his name!! Next up, a visit with Sharon in her office, wherein Heather acts her usual condescending self, and winds up being duped with the help of her own secretary! Ye Gads! By week's end, she's so full of herself that she's taken to ordering Adam to clean up his act and get a job and maybe she'll consider staying with him! Man, who'd want to be with a piece of work like her!

Jack/Adam: Jack's little foray into the world of breaking and entering was a tad far-fetched, but I can live with that. My question is, after being so clearly double-crossed and set-up by Jack, why didn't Adam rat him out to Sharon, and why was he sitting with Jack in Crimson Lights at the end of the week, chuckling about the diary being printed in a magazine?! I was just starting to look forward to Adam's wrath against Jack, when suddenly, he lost steam and became desperate for reassurance again! It will be excellent to see this story come to fruition, especially when Victor finds out, but I get weary just imagining how long that will take!

Another back-and-forth scenario that has gone on too long. Sharon has known for a long time what Jack's true colors are, but is still doing this dance with him about it. Her 'spinning in a boat with one oar' analogy was great, and I, for one, am as sick of the going around in circles as she seems to be! We can only listen to the same conflict so many times - it's just not compelling anymore. Time to move on! Pack your bag, girl! **Mini-Spoiler** Watch for Sharon to go off on Jack big-time next week!!

Phyllis/Sharon/Brad: I found it interesting that Phyllis's needling at the coffeehouse didn't really seem to bother Sharon or Brad very much, considering they were holding hands when she walked in. This tells me that the Jack and Sharon marriage is done in Sharon's mind - she doesn't seem to care anymore, whereas only a couple of weeks ago she was on pins and needles that Jack might discover she had been talking to Nick. I think Phyllis senses the difference too, and the idea of Sharon being single is not one that she likes. As for Sharon and Brad, they certainly have chemistry, and perhaps even unfinished business as well, but somehow they don't figure in as a long-term coupling. On the bright side, maybe spending time with Sharon will boost Brad's testosterone and make his sexy, beautifully textured hair grow back! Oh, and by the way - how is it that this incredible man has no one to celebrate with other than a married ex-flame that rejected him once upon a time? Hello?!

Nikki/Victor: Eric Braeden is doing a great job of portraying Victor's abject misery and helplessness as he struggles with depression - that's not the problem. The problem is with the scenes themselves - they're mind-numbingly dull, and this stuff is being dragged on way too long! Even as a build-up to November sweeps, it's a dud, because there's no drama or suspense. It took days of Nikki talking in riddles before she revealed that she was going to see Ashley Abbott. Predictable! Does anyone even have to wonder if Ashley will be able to 'get through' to Victor? Of course she will. Next! Luckily the chemistry between Eric Braeden and Eileen Davidson is off the charts - that's worth looking forward to!

Hallowe'en Haunting:
I actually enjoyed the scenes at the tackhouse. I thought the shadowy, drafty nuances were perfect for a Hallowe'en episode, although Sabrina's voice at the end saying Victor's name was a little too cheesy. It was interesting to see Victoria and Nick discuss how Victor never made it home to be with them on Hallowe'en as kids. Good comic relief from J.T. and Phyllis lightened the conversation just enough. Wasn't Reed a cute little pirate?!

Hallowe'en Party: If that Billy gets any hotter our screens are going to burst into flames! Wow! The costumes were good for a giggle for the most part. Devon made me smile in his seventies 'fro, and I loved seeing him get hot n' heavy with his naughty nurse, Roxanne. It's about time they spiced up Devon's life a little! Kevin was strangely cranky, but Jana was divine as a cupid. Loved the shirt she had Kevin put on, "I'm with Cupid." Too funny! Chloe as a knocked-up prom queen was inspired, and Cane was casually lookin' good with his handy-dandy plastic vampire teeth and black leather jacket! Colleen as a witch was very appropriate! I'm glad she got a drink poured on her - she's got such a snarky attitude! Daniel and Amber were a rockin' duo - good to see someone having fun! So, this was a party just ripe with possibilities, but for the most part it fell flat. There were some good one-liners, and I loved the insight of Chloe's flashback to her and Billy in happier times - I need that to keep seeing Chloe as human! The downer, though, was once again, the writing for the Lily character. Maybe I'm just missing something, but isn't this supposed to be a fairly mature young woman who has lived abroad, experienced tragedy and a failed marriage, is well-educated, and has had her own career?! Pardon me, then, for asking why she is still being written as a teeny-bopper! Giggling over a text message like a fourteen year-old with Colleen?! Sulking and pouting when Cane says he isn't 'Sonny Crawford'? Storming out of the party? I want to connect with this character, but she needs to act her age and have more of an edge to make her interesting and relatable. And what's with Billy's interest in her? That's not working for me at all! Other than a means of sticking it to Cane, I can't imagine why he would be into such an immature, broody girl. Give him an intriguing, experienced, slightly older love match - that would be much more up his alley!

This was a really moving story this week - to find out that Karen had a hysterectomy years ago before she met Neil, and that because of this gene she can't give him kids. Ahhh! I know, I know, many are saying that Neil's already got Lily and Devon and they don’t need to be starting a new family anyway. But when you're in love, that's the logical progression for most couples, and Karen knows that Neil would love to have a child with her. I just found it heartbreaking that she had to tell him it would never happen, and I thought Nia Peeples did an amazing job acting those scenes - so believable! As for sourpuss Tyra, although she kept her nose out of Neil's business this week, she still managed to be a downer - this time it was when the hot police officer flirtatiously told her she didn't look old enough to be Ana's mother (as a compliment), and she proceeds to hiss and spit to Neil about how it was 'suspicious' and she 'didn't like it'! Good for Neil for telling her to get real!

Time to snap out of it! May the month of November change everything for everyone on the canvas, because the way the show is right now, I'm antsier than a clown on caffeine just trying to sit through it! It's just not exciting enough! Someone needs to spice this show up, ramp up the pace, get the characters to stop repeating themselves, wrap up the plots that are not working and dragging on, and most importantly, stop watering down people like Phyllis and Lily - let them be edgy and interesting!

Don't forget to leave your own rant or thoughts below - no matter if you agree or disagree with me - you might change my mind! It's all in fun! Check out the Hallowe'en Surprise too!

-Candace Young