I'll Never be Separated From Your Skull.Tuesday, July 22 2008
Norma and Edna have a wedding of their own, Sheridan has to battle her dark side, Fancy panics.
Tabitha is frustrated searching for Endora at the church. She worries about what trouble a baby witch can get into. Edna tells her to relax. Tabs doesn't want parenting advice from the mother of Beth. "Single mothers have a tough row to hoe," Norma says defending, her Eddy and wondering if Beth would have been better off if Norma had been with her back then. "If I'd have been a good mother, I would have found a nut house to take her to when she was five," Edna says. They search for Endora and spot a strange man down the hallway. Norma chases after him but he disappears. Tabs says it doesn't matter; they need to get out of there right now. Norma stops her and pulls out her ax. "You ain't goin' nowhere Tabby cat!" the ax killer growls. Tabitha's not impressed. Norma and Edna burst out laughing. Edna says Norma doesn't kill people anymore. Norma keeps her mouth shut but thinks about all the women she's killed because they gave her Eddy the "glad eye". Tabitha is ready to leave again but Norma stops her, saying they need a favor first.
Norma and Tabitha stand in the courtyard. Since the sisters of Sappho can't get married inside with a priest, they'll get married outside with a witch. They hum the wedding march and Edna walks out, wishing Endora could be a bridesmaid. Tabitha wouldn't have let her; she doesn't want her to have nightmares. "Doesn't she make a lovely bride?" Norma says of her Eddy. "I trust that's a rhetorical question?" Tabs quips. She tells them that she has no authority to marry them: It won't be legal. They don't care about the law; hundreds of people would still be alive if they did. Norma starts chanting "bananas, rice, cheese" and cuddling Edna. They babble until Tabitha starts the ceremony. Norma reads her own vows, though she accidentally begins by reading her lunch order. "I'll love you 'till the day you die... and after. When the big day comes, I'll steal your head and boil it down. I'll never be separated from your skull," Norma vows. Edna's touched, but asks her to make sure her front plate is super-glued in so the teeth don't fall out.
Gertrude slumps in a pew. Her mother tells her she should leave: Seeing Gwen and Ethan get re-married will be too much for her. Theresa agrees but decides to stay and see Luis and Fancy get married. They wonder where the bride and groom could be.
Juanita wanders the church basement and stares into the closet where her bomb continues to count down. "I don't like you Gwen and, from what I hear, I like your mother even less," she says to herself, smiling at the thought of blowing the Hotchkiss women up alongside Pilar's family. Her murderous thoughts are interrupted when she hears Pilar and Gertrude coming down the stairs. She tries to get away but Pilar stops her before she can. Pilar asks her if she's seen her son. Juanita says she's seen no one. Pilar and Gertrude discuss Juanita while she listens. "Why would Pilar talk to this ugly woman about me?" she wonders. The women run off and Juanita laughs about everything Pilar will soon lose.
Fancy paces around, asking Sam where the groom could have vanished to. Sam promises to search for him and hurries off. Fancy quivers and cries. Julian arrives to escort her down the aisle. She tells him she's sure her aunt has stolen Luis away. Sam soon returns after having no luck. Fancy blurts out that Sheridan almost let them all die from poison. "She must be barking mad poor thing," Julian says. Considering her life it's no wonder she has emotional problems. He asks "Sherlock Holmes" what to do. Sam suggests they keep looking. Julian calls Crane security. Fancy wonders how everything can keep going wrong. Her mother tries to think positively.
"I love being in your arms," Sheridan says as she and Luis tango in the courtyard. The dance reminds her of the legend of the couple who died from tangoing too intensely. She spots some sharp garden sheers and smiles deviously. As they dance, she debates with herself about whether she can give up the man she's lived for, even if he has betrayed her. Her good and evil sides argue until she starts to cry and tells him to go. When he reaches out to her, she pushes him back and he accidentally falls, impaling himself on the garden sheers. They stick through his body and he collapses in a bloody mess as she gasps in horror. "Oh God! I can't lose you!" she screams. Spotting a jug of poisonous weed killer, she begins gulping it. "I can't be separated from you. If we die together, we begin our next life together," she whimpers, collapsing on his chest.
But that was just in her mind. In reality, they stop dancing. She's depressed. She tells him he was her only true love. He reminds her of her love for Antonio. "I wasn't myself. I had amnesia," she says. He insists it was still true love. Luis will never forget the love that he and Sheridan had, but it's time to move on and he's sure there is someone else for her.
In the chapel, Sam and Julian search for Luis without luck. He suddenly walks in. They're angry at him for vanishing. He says everything is fine and tells Julian that Sheridan will be fine. He asks them to go and get Fancy so they can be married. Julian wanders over to her and tells her they're ready to go. He grabs Ivy before she can run off and give Luis a piece of her mind. Julian calms his daughter and Ivy begins fixing her makeup while Sheridan stands in the shadows. Sam tells Fancy she's gorgeous and leaves to tell Gwen and Ethan that they'll be next. Fancy still can't shake the feeling that something will go wrong. Her mother tells her just to concentrate on the man she's fought for. "I haven't been the best of fathers, but I'm at your disposal today," Julian says, offering Fancy his arm. As they walk down the aisle, Sheridan steps from the shadows.
In the church rectory, Gwen tells her mother that Juanita knows where they are. She needs to marry Ethan and get out of town quick. Rebecca tells her to relax: Juanita owes them. Gwen doubts that and feels terrible for what might happen to Pilar's family. "Pilar's past is just catching up to her," Rebecca sighs. She tells her daughter to be happy: "We won. We beat Theresa... and we have gotten away with everything." They continue to speak, unaware that Sam's video camera is sitting on the table and recording everything. Rebecca starts detailing all of their deceptions one at a time and gloating about how brilliant they were. Beccs laughs about how furious Ivy would be if she discovered what they did to Ethan. Gwen tells her to be quiet, but Rebecca is sure they are completely safe and no one will hear them. Gwen is tense. Rebecca suggests they have a drink. Gwen continues to worry but her mother giddily continues to go over their crimes. Sam interrupts and compliments them on their looks. Rebecca starts to flirt with him and feels him up until he tells her to take her hands off. As they walk out, he spots his camera and grabs it, noticing that it's been recording the whole time. He starts rewinding to erase so there will be room for all the weddings.
Back in the chapel, Theresa rants to her mother about Gwen and Ethan. They sit as Julian walks Fancy to Luis. Sheridan squints as she watches. "Watching Luis marry another woman is going to drive me mad!" she cringes. Her head throbs and she paces, trying to force herself to leave. She wonders if he could still come to his senses... She senses someone approach her. When she turns, she gasps: "No! It can't be!" and collapses.
Next on Passions:
The Demon Elf returns.
"Did you just call Gertrude Theresa?" Ethan asks Pilar.
Sheridan announces she has a gift for the whole Lopez-Fitzgerald family.
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