Dolly the Evil Genius.

Tuesday, July 1st, 2008

Vincent and Viki prepare their poison for the wedding rehearsal, Julian tells Eve how he feels, Sheridan discovers the plot and weighs her options.

Dolly the Evil Genius. image

Luis and Fancy arrive at the church for their wedding rehearsal. They kiss, thrilled that the wedding is so close. Sheridan arrives and watches from a distance, remembering her commitment ceremony with Luis. She tries to wish good luck to both of them, but it's painful. "I can't give Luis up. I wish this was our wedding rehearsal," she admits to herself.


Ivy asks Sheridan where she went wrong. One son is dead and one daughter is in a mental hospital. At least she has Ethan and Fancy, Sheridan reminds her. Ivy explains that she has an order with the florist to send flowers to Pretty everyday. Looking over at Luis and Fancy, she's happy that one of her daughter's is doing well. As Ivy walks over to congratulate the couple, Sheridan wonders if she is really any better than Pretty is. Meanwhile, Ivy hugs Pilar and hopes that they can be close again like they were in the past. Pilar would like that too, but it will have to wait until after the family trip. Later, Ivy and Sheridan talk again about how awful it was to see Pretty be taken away. The topic turns to Sheridan's Great Grandmother. "All Crane women fear that they will go mad like her," Sheridan says. Ivy thought they all went crazy when someone they loved was taken from them. "I'm glad you didn't go crazy when you lost Luis," she comments. Sheridan looks uncomfortable.


Paloma asks her mother to be happy and enjoy the weddings, but Pilar is still paranoid with worry about Juanita. Meanwhile, Ethan, Rebecca, Gwen and Gertrude all arrive. Ethan walks off to hang up their coats while Gwen tells Gertrude that she has a special task for her to do. Moments later, Theresa takes her sister aside to congratulate her and give her a hug. Paloma knows this must be hard for her. Theresa claims she's over Ethan. "Liar," Paloma says. Theresa admits it; now she has to watch the man she loves renew his vows to a woman she hates. Gwen walks over and reminds Gertrude that she has a task for her. She sends her down to the basement to get a box for Ethan. Rebecca strolls over, guessing that that was part of her daughter's plan to keep Theresa away.


In the courtyard, Vincent, in disguise as an old woman, and Viki, dressed as a waitress, watch from the distance while tending to the meal they are preparing. "Those fools have no idea that death is lurking just outside the church," Vincent says as he stirs the poisoned mushroom sauce. Esme arrives and Viki introduces him as "Dolly" the caterer. Esme is excited and hurries inside, sure that everyone will remember this dinner. Vincent and Viki smirk: No one will be alive to remember.


Julian arrives at the church. Eve has been waiting for him. They are happy for everyone getting married, but they have more urgent matters to discuss. Eve just talked to a surgeon about his penis. Before she can explain the prognosis, Esme walks in. Julian explains that he went to see a doctor who was a "penis expert". She tells him there's nothing wrong with a doctor being gay. That's not what he meant. She asks him if the doctor can turn the "wingle-wangle" around and make it bigger. Julian asks if he can talk to Eve in private. Esme takes the hint. "Am I being abandoned again? The end of a dream?" she cries melodramatically. "Thurston Howell the Third didn't end up with Ginger," she says sadly. Julian explains that he likes her, but what's happened to his penis has made him reconsider his future. "We will always have the mausoleum," she says. He'd like to forget that part. She announces that she has an exciting career now as a caterer and is sure to nab another billionaire. After she rushes away, Eve asks Julian what he meant when he said his life has different priorities. "All I care about now is love... and the woman I love has always been you," he says. She smiles. He asks her what the doctor said. "The penis can't be turned around," she says, apologizing. He doesn't blame her. They kiss and she holds him. He starts to get an erection. Remembering that this will kill him, he starts gasping for ice water and runs outside.


Esme stumbles outside and orders "Dolly" and Viki to unload the delivery truck. After they leave, she decides to teach herself about food and starts to stir the sauce. Before she can taste it, Viki rushes over and stops her. They cover, explaining that the sauce isn't ready. Esme walks off. "That was too close. We can't kill Aunt Esme," Viki says. Vincent doesn't see why not, though he wouldn't say so aloud. Viki doubts his poisoning skills. He asks her to get a cat so he can prove them. She refuses to hurt a kitty so he poisons some flowers which quickly die. "You are an evil genius," she glumly shrugs. Sheridan stands in the doorway eavesdropping. When she hears the details of their plot to kill everyone, she gasps and walks back into the church. She wonders if she should tell Sam that Viki is Harmony's killer. When she spots him standing at the altar beside Fancy and Luis, she wonders if she should let the plot go ahead. If she could find a way to let Fancy die and everyone else live, she could have Luis all to herself. She decides that, for her son's sake, it's best to let Viki and Vincent go ahead.


Fancy tells Luis that Father Lonigan has been called away to someone's death bed. Sam announces that he will perform the ceremony instead. They wonder where Julian is. They need him to try walking Fancy down the aisle. Meanwhile, Julian runs around the church with Eve chasing after him. He tells her to stay away. "I can't look at your face because I get that feeling," he gasps before grabbing a bowl of ice and placing it on his genitals. He soon breathes a sigh of relief: "Ice cubes... what are marvelous invention!" He asks if there is another doctor he can consult. She says they may have to wait until medical technology catches up to his problem. Ivy arrives, startled by the sight of them. He says he'll be along and waves her off. "Can you imagine a life with a man that could never make love to you again?" he asks Eve. She says that "intellectually and emotionally" they're constantly making love. She kisses him and he jumps back, pouring the ice cubes down his pants.


Everyone takes their places as the rehearsal begins. Pilar looks around, continuing to worry. After Sam finishes rehearing, he gets down beside Ivy and tells her he remembers when he was as much in love as the young couples are. "I'm still that much in love," Ivy smiles. Julian watches with a grin. Eve puts her arm around him and tells him that he could find happiness too. At that moment, Viki and Vincent walk into the back of the church. Esme hurries over and asks to taste the sauce again. They tell her the bar just opened and she runs off in the other direction. Spotting his parents, Vincent turns to Viki and tells her he can't wait to have his final revenge. "I just hope there's not too much vomit. I always think that's icky," Viki says.


As Ethan searches for Gertrude, Rebecca tells him that ugly people shouldn't be allowed at weddings anyway. He walks off and Rebecca congratulates her daughter on taking care of her "little problem". Meanwhile, Theresa searches in the basement for the box. Once she finds it, the door locks her in. She pulls at it without luck. She bangs on the door and calls for help. While searching for a key, she knocks some boxes over and these cause the gas line to start leaking. Soon the air fills with the toxic gas and she begins to gasp for breath and collapses.


Juanita and her henchman arrive at Tabitha's while the witch is out. He reveals the bomb to her. She sighs in excitement and looks forward to planting it so she can blow Pilar and her family to Kingdom Come. He continues to fumble with the explosives while she stands impatiently. "Go tell your grandmother to suck eggs," she says, pushing him out of the way. She fiddles with it, suddenly arming it. "Say your prayers! We're about to die!" her henchman panics. He's ready to run, but she won't let him and she won't let the bomb explode since there's no time to build a new one. He drops on the ground and prays while she disarms it. He begins thanking God while she rolls her eyes. "There will be justice. There will be blood," she announces. Placing her hand on the bomb, she vows that Pilar and her family are damned to die in Hell on earth.


Next on Passions:

Tabitha gets another warning of disaster.

Eve sticks a needle in Julian.

Gwen won't let Theresa stop her ceremony.

Noah finds Gertrude on the floor.

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