The Best Revenge.

Monday, April 7th, 2008

Eve performs surgery on Julian, Gwen stops Pilar from telling Ethan the truth, Ivy and Rebecca question Gertrude, and Ethan and Little Ethan meet the new nanny.

The Best Revenge. image

A very drunk Eve walks into the hospital in scrubs with Vincent who encourages her to perform surgery on Julian. Vincent's in scrubs as well thinking no one will recognize him in his "get up." Esme sees Eve and urgently asks if she can reattach Julian's penis. Vincent puts a surgical mask on so as not to be noticed and Eve tells Esme she needs to examine Julian before she can make any promises.

In Julian's hospital room, Viki continuously stabs him from under his bed. Julian wakes up in pain, but Viki realizes that she's only stabbing the mattress. A nurse enters and gives Julian more medication so he can go back to sleep.


Eve and Vincent go into Julian's room and look under his covers. Viki crawls out from under his bed and leaves the room. Eve and Vincent are shocked by the sight of Julian's wound and Eve looks for Julian's "member." She finds it in a cooler and says at least it's on ice. Out in the hall, Viki finds Esme who is worried about Julian. Viki consoles her aunt, but thinks to herself that Julian's life will be over soon. Esme comes into Julian's room pleading with Eve to make Julian whole again and Eve drunkenly promises to do her best. While sleeping, Julian has a fantasy about him and Esme fooling around in the hospital, but sees that his penis is missing. He starts to freak out and his monitors go off. Eve yells, "Code Blue!" but she can't think of what she needs to do and Vincent whispers, "It's his heart." Eve agrees and uses the defibrillator on him, but Viki unplugs it so Eve won't be able to save him. Julian flatlines and Viki and Vincent revel in the fact that Julian will perish. A nurse sees that the machine has been unplugged and plugs it back in. Eve uses the paddles again and brings Julian back to life.

Alone with Julian, Eve tells Vincent she's still too drunk to operate. Vincent assures her she'll be fine and fakes worry about his father, begging Eve to save his daddy. Julian has another fantasy, this time about Eve. When he takes off his gown so they can have sex, Vincent's face pops up in his groin area! Julian starts to shake and mumble and Vincent tells Eve she's Julian's only hope. Eve eventually agrees to do the surgery and Vincent says today she's really going to make a difference in someone else's life.

Julian gets wheeled into surgery and Esme tells Eve she needs to save Julian and "Little Julian." Eve almost drops the cooler containing Julian's organ and says she'll do her best and walks off. In the OR, Vincent helps Eve put her surgical gloves on and the anesthesiologist comes into the room. Vincent explains that he's a nurse and the anesthesiologist puts Julian under. Eve asks Vincent for a scalpel and he hands her one thinking, "All these scalpels. Maybe my father's death isn't the best revenge after all."

Esme worries in the waiting room and asks Viki what she's supposed to do. Viki suggests she pray, so Esme launches into a bizarre prayer about sex and Julian's "winkie dink." Viki thinks to herself, "God can't help you Julian. No one will stop me from killing you."


At the Crane Mansion, Pilar tells Ethan she has something to tell him about his relationship with Little Ethan. Before she can spit out that he is Little E's father, Gwen comes in the room interrupting them. Ethan tells her Pilar has something important to say, but Gwen says Little E needs him right now and Ethan leaves the room. Gwen demands to know what Pilar is doing and Pilar tells her Ethan deserves to know the truth about his son. Gwen insists she won't let that happen and threatens to call Juanita if she tells Ethan the truth. Ethan returns and says Little E didn't need him and asks Pilar what she wanted to tell him. Pilar thinks to herself that Gwen really will tell Juanita where her family is and then they'll all die, so Pilar tells Ethan that Little E is emotionally fragile and that he needs to be careful with him. Ethan promises to always be a good father to him because he loves him as his own. Little Ethan enters the room and Ethan suggests they go raid the refrigerator. Gwen, Ethan and Little E leave and Pilar thinks that Gwen will get hers sooner than she thinks.


In the living room, Ivy and Rebecca tell Gertrude they checked out the last family she said she worked for, but they aren't on vacation and don't remember her. They accuse her of never working as a nanny and Gertrude tries to talk her way around it. Ivy wants to take back the job offer, but Rebecca pulls her aside saying her looks are perfect for the job because Ethan will never stray while she's around. Ivy demands a logical explanation from Gertrude as to why the family doesn't remember her and then maybe she can keep her job. Gertrude makes up a story that she never met the parents because she was hired by another staff member and the parents weren't around much. Considering they don't interact with their own "help," Ivy and Rebecca accept her explanation and allow her to keep the job.


As Ivy and Rebecca go over the rules of the house with Gertrude, Ethan, Little E and Gwen come in the room. Little E goes to the kitchen and Ivy and Rebecca introduce Gertrude to Ethan and Gwen. Ethan shakes her hand and asks if they know each other. Gertrude says she doesn't know him, but Ethan gets a flash of Theresa's face. Ethan says she reminds him of old friend. Gwen pulls Rebecca and Ivy aside and asks where they found such an ugly nanny. They explain Ethan will never be distracted by her, but Gwen wonders if she will be good at her job. Pilar enters the room with Jane, and Gwen takes the little girl in her arms. Gwen tells Gertrude that Jane has a hard time with strangers, but Gertrude asks if she can hold her. Gertrude takes Jane and everyone marvels at how at ease Jane is with her. Gwen is shocked because Jane never likes strangers and Ethan says the only other person that could put Jane at ease was...and thinks "Theresa." He says Gertrude reminds him of Theresa because of her nurturing way. Pilar introduces herself to Gertrude, takes Jane back and heads upstairs with her. Little Ethan returns with a sandwich and he is introduced to Gertrude. He asks, "Haven't I seen you before?" Gertrude says maybe she was a nanny to one of his friends, but Little E doesn't think that's it. Ethan and Gwen talk to Gertrude, while Little E wonders where he's seen her before. He suddenly blurts out, "Mom!"


Next on Passions:

Sam tells Pretty, Fancy and Luis that Julian's organ was severed.

A member of the medical staff tells Eve, "Mr. Crane's penis is upside down."

At the hospital, Fancy wants to know why Pretty is really there.

Rebecca learns that Julian's penis has been cut off.

Thank-you for your comments and feedback! We do ask that our visitors abide by the Guidelines and try to keep all posts on the topic of the show. If you have a Spoiler that you want to post and/or discuss in the comments section below, please always remember to start your post with ***Spoiler Alert*** so others who do not wish to read spoilers can skim over your post. Please feel free to Contact Us if a moderator is required to handle any bad posts. Above all, have a great time posting!

All photographs are courtesy of

Previous in Recaps No Passions Today April 4

Next in Recaps Someone Slashed my Poor Pookie's hot...