Quote HOT PINK: Hello, Everyone. Corbin posted this around 1:20 this morning:
"Tough day. Really tough. Missed mom more than you can imagine, and was reminded of her at every turn, every corner. Spent some time with the good folks and friends at Young and Restless, first having a good ole cry and then trying to figure out "what to do." I mean, mom's been a presence in that building and on that show for 40 years. You can't just say, "oh well, it was a good ride!" So we dealt with stuff, some of the what I'm now calling "mechanics of death." Stuff you gotta deal with even while grieving.
Over on the spiritual ball field I tried to find "signs" that she was okay - stupid stuff. Okay, I did see a pretty amazing butterfly and an incredible garden of roses while listening to George Jones' amazing song "Bed of Roses." I also saw an incredible rainbow tonight... maybe... All in all I might of worked it too hard and just didn't let go. Faith was also tested. Too many times the question, "what if this is it, the rest... a manufacture of our minds to ease the pain?" It's okay, faith is strengthened when tested. I say bring it. Clearly all over the map tonight but that is a true reflection of where I'm at today. Just letting it flow through, work it's way through my veins, sweat it out. Sorry if it's pouring out on you.
I had been thinking of writing a book for some time now (well before mom became ill) So many thoughts and shapes that I wanted to put into words regarding faith, family, and community that have become new cornerstones of my life and, to be a bit lofty, solutions for a hurting world. But I waited to begin writing as I generally do. I have no need, no deadline or financial gain in doing so, I do it for me and and for us. So I can afford to wait until that exact moment where pen must hit paper and I'm no longer in control. While my mom was battling these last few days it became clear, almost an "order," that I should start writing the day after she passes (and it was certain by then that she would pass soon.) But today came and went and I didn't begin. But I still have a few hours so I will do so here, and then perhaps copy and paste a few days from now. I tend to follow through on promises made, especially to self. It has also become clear how it must begin, and I think goes something like this...
My mother died yesterday, May 8, 2013 at 9:50 A.M. Pacific Standard Time. And while the weight of the moment crashed down on me, crushing me; "the end," I knew in my heart that was false. Categorically false! A journey I had begun several years earlier simply hit another milestone, though one so powerful that it would bring all the uncategorized shapes and rough edges of a lifetime into a single, concise focus and reference point; not "the end," but a "true beginning."
I feel better already."
I would love Corbin to write that book he spoke of, and maybe someday he will. I know he has so many wonderful memories of his mother and some great stories to tell. My prayers and thoughts are with him, Collin, Caren and their entire family. Through them, Wilma Jeanne Cooper's legacy will continue. And, all of us on this YR board will always remember Jeanne as Brock's Duchess, the great Katherine Chancellor. She may be gone, but she will never ever be forgotten.
Quote HOT PINK: Hi, Everyone. Hope you are all having a nice Friday morning so far. Here is Corbin's latest post:
"Interesting morning. Met with the publisher's of my mom's book who happen to be in NY. I really do want to do what I can to help knowing that she was planning on more book tours and the rest to promote it. Her agent told me that one of the most exciting phone calls they shared was when she informed mom that the book had made the New York Times Bestseller list. I knew she was happy for this, but now know the full impact in had on her. My mom was a bundle of contradictions, or rather, there was a ton of "life and history" below the surface, old news, stuff that hurt. The book - again - incredible timing given all things in perspective now - allowed her to release some that which she held onto so privately for so long. I don't think it was a release but rather a true sharing of who she was and what made her tick. She wanted people to know. And to some extent, I did see a "lightness of her being" after the book came out.
So with that in mind, and fully weighing the whole notion of promoting anything at this time as potentially seeing it as "profiting from her loss," I want to cautiously move forward and help get the book out there. I've discussed a portion of the book proceeds going to one of the many charities that she supported. In the end however, it is really everything I've been discussing in keeping her light burning. I am to a degree, consumed by this notion. Is it just me mourning or wanting more? Maybe. But I also believe she had so much to share and good lessons for us all. That is why she was here, to make her mark, that mark that we can all benefit from. Her book is certainly a good place to start. More on that to come as it becomes clearer what it all entails.
All that said, it does feel good to try and do something in her honor, takes away some of the sting of the loss. Calls continue to come in from old friends and that alone is almost worth the price of the ticket. She is reconnecting people. So much continues to happen in her name that... it almost feels as if she is here."
It looks like Jeanne's light is going to shine on thanks to Corbin and the rest of his family, and through all of the people who loved her. I am so glad I was able to get her book. It will always be one of my most treasured possessions.