Remembering Y&R's Jeanne Cooper

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Re: Remembering Y&R's Jeanne Cooper

Postby HOT PINK » Mon Jun 17, 2013 11:09 am

Good Monday Morning, Everyone! I want to congratulate Doug Davidson and Billy Miller on their Emmy wins! It's about time Doug was recognized for his great work as Paul after all these years (35).

Corbin posted this about an hour ago:

"You can't please all the people all the time..." That's the general consensus from everyone this morning. Nobody knew this better than my mom. She was, if you really knew her, often a confusion. One one hand you had the most generous, graceful, loving, compassionate person on the planet... then in a rather abrupt about face, she could turn on the tap and out came a mouthful of profanities I challenge any man in a bar at 2 AM to outdo. But somehow, they were poetry and so well placed, well timed, no other words seem to accomplish the task at hand. Then in another abrupt about face, she would slap us silly for using the very same words! A confusion to say the least...

Over the years however, I realized that there is a time and place for all things. A perfect time and a perfect place. And she knew that timing better than anyone. But never, NEVER, did this detract from her character or the true actions of her life. Again, that phrase, "no line on the horizon." If you are pure of heart, you are pure of heart, always. If you are true to yourself, you are true to yourself, always. If you love God, you love God always. You don't fake it and pretend to move in and out of circles to please "the group." - You are simply YOU!

So in the end I would judge my mom ALWAYS based on who she was, those actions of her life; her love for God and Nature, her love for her fellow man, her love of the work, her love for family, her honesty, her brutal truth. And the words she used... just that, simply words to best convey what was on her mind at the time - no judgements or even planned adjectives of expression, but simply words... her truth in the moment.

Some have stated that as a Christian I shouldn't use words like I did last night.... some going so far as to say I can't truly be a Christian. I say you are wrong, on both accounts. But none of us are the judges here. I decided several years ago that I wanted to find my truth. My absolute truth. I wanted, in short, to be more like my mom. I did so, not to please her, but because I knew in my heart that the kind of truth I sought was sorely needed in this messed up and confused world we live in. I wanted to find a place where my expression of loving God and Christ could co exist with moments of human frailty and error and yes, even the occasional curse word! The two do not have to be mutually exclusive if we are all One. I firmly believe that. That is what I'm trying to do in the films I write, in the messages I write here. A love for all, a love for the actions of our life, a love for our humanity, Christian or not, Curser or not.

As a side note: You realize that even saying here that I "love God and Christ" could be taken by some who would say, "Oh no, you're one of those guys!" I say to them, and those who worry about my cursing from time to time - or a good stiff Vodka for that matter - I'm not "one of anybody, I'm me, I'm one of you! We are one in the same.

You can't please all the people all the time. You can only be true. And in that truth, my mother's kind of truth, I firmly believe you'll discover the most magnificent gift that God has given each of us. Love."

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Re: Remembering Y&R's Jeanne Cooper

Postby countryMomof4 » Mon Jun 17, 2013 12:00 pm

Wonderful words again from Corbin. I didn't watch the show but I have heard about it. I have no problem with what he said.

Thanks HP!

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Re: Remembering Y&R's Jeanne Cooper

Postby HOT PINK » Tue Jun 18, 2013 12:23 pm

Hi, Everyone. Hope you are all having a wonderful day so far. Corbin posted this about two hours ago:

"Up in Vancouver today for Psych. Wow, the traveling... Moving around so much does cause one to get introspective, maybe being so high, above the clouds, above it all, time to reflect on those things that bind us to the earth but not the truths of the Heavens Above. (Unintended plug for my next movie "Beyond the Heavens - October release - stay tuned!)

But I do tend to reflect when flying, traveling between "here and there." Felt very close to my mom last night when flying last night... connecting the dots of the whole Emmy event, reaching out to her, seeking her truth, her honest. Landed with a feeling of closure about it all... I could only see her bright smile, no words, just a smile on her face, content... her eyes slightly squinted, challenging me, daring me to continue in the same manner. Yes! A challenge! That would definitely be her... "Are you truly comfortable in yourself, your expression? Do you have the balls!" She would quietly do that to those she mentored... teach us, breath the lesson, and then say, "now, it's up to you... do you have the stuff to back it up?" I suppose that's what she told me when I decided to become an actor... "go train, learn it, become it, become one with it... now, can you stand on the stage and take it? Can you take the criticism, can you take the surge, the rush, the overwhelming thrill of the moment and keep your balance? Can you take the defeat, the pain, the mud? Can you swim in the mud because that's often where you'll find yourself." Yes, she would train us then challenge us.

That was what the Emmys were about, a challenge. Yes, it was an honest attempt to honor her as she would have it ... but the bigger picture... the journey she handed off to me in her passing... it was a challenge. Do I play it safe or do I be true? It was only in her truth that my mom could get away with half the stuff she did... because it was honest, human, and always, always done with respect and her ultimate love for her fellow man.

So yes, up there at 36,000 feet, where I was still questioning myself, the truth of my actions, she was smiling... "okay, you passed that one... but still, do you have the balls... your journey has only begun."

And then I landed. And truthfully, I feel more in touch with everything God intended for me than ever... both in my personal life, but maybe even more importantly in my professional life. I know I want to tell stories of faith, family, and community... highlighting the best of our human capabilities for compassion, love and ability. I know I want the stories to travel from a truthful darkness to the light, the magnificence of our creation and gift... and this is very important... I want the journey from dark to light to be honest, feel familiar with the the truth of our times in it's portrayal. Does that take certain language? Does that take certain events on screen to feel true? I think it does. But I also know it will offend some. In the end, it will always, always be about enlightenment and a for me, a journey toward good, the magnificent and ultimately what I know to be God. The only question I wrestle with... how pot holed do I make the road to it in my quest for honesty, to bring those into the fold who would flinch at anything but that. I want my very own sons to recognize the road... be drawn to it... and know the light at the end of the tale. I do this for them, for their generation and all who feel a bit disconnected from a loving humanity that was intended.

That is the greatest gift my mom gave me - both in life, and in her passing... She put my shoes at the door with a piece of fruit and a biscuit to fill my belly, a taste of water to keep my whistle wet... and a note that said, "Go forth! Stay true and go forth!"

The truth of her message was so clear, all in that little smile and twinkle in her eye... I felt so close to her up there, above it all...

Maybe we were soaring a little higher than 36,000 feet!

Truth and love, the words of the day."

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Re: Remembering Y&R's Jeanne Cooper

Postby HOT PINK » Wed Jun 19, 2013 6:29 pm

Hi, Everyone. Hope you are all having a nice Wednesday. Corbin posted this about seven hours ago:

"Back in Los Angeles and back to the drawing board...

People often ask me what I like best; acting, writing or directing. My usual answer and that while I love acting, I've grown to love the process that involves all three, at once, working on a single project. I love switching gears from one to the other... on a dime. But then pressed for a single answer I normally default to writing. Something fascinates me about the blank page... the clean slate... back to the drawing board. You have to tap into the deepest of inspiration to utter a first word, a first letter of that word. It ultimately makes you go to the source of all things and draw from it an idea, a concept, a story. I LOVE that process! I love the exercise, the challenge because suddenly revealed is who you really are. You become vulnerable... in touch and out of touch all at once. It then is up to you how truthful you want to be in that reveal, but no matter what you put down on paper (or a blank screen) - even if you deter from honesty - you know it. You know what you've left on the table in terms of truth.

Today I do feel like it's time for a new page. The Emmys and all the events of the last few weeks; the memorial, and even a celebration at the TV Festival in Monte Carlo honoring the Young and the Restless, I feel like there is some closure to my mom's passing. We are now dealing with perhaps the last mortal ties she had the earth... her "things" she left behind. The house, her stuff... so much stuff!

NOTE TO SELF: Start lightening the load for my kids. Her stuff makes my stuff look like minimal living! Garage sale at my house this weekend! Kidding. Please don't show up!

There is a sadness to it - unloading the stuff - but also a cleansing. You suddenly realize the "stuff" of our lives isn't what represents our life. My mom is so much more than all of that - I've learned that over the last few months. But still, you have to deal with it. And so we will. Respectfully. Quietly.

But the new page is ready. I'm staring it straight in the face! And it scares me a bit because included in that is the natural ability to "forget" and move on. I think that is one of the greatest gifts we have, that ability to get over the great obstacles in life... clean up after the storm and rebuild... rebound from accidents and illness, correct our wrong doings. Our ability to change and adapt; absolute magnificence! But it does scare me... I know I'll never forget my mother completely, but even her fading away into the background... right now... just not sure how I feel about that. I so enjoy keeping her alive, right here, with all of you, each day. And that will continue... but the hard core reminders... no matter how persistent I am, they will fade. That is natural. That is a gift so I may move forward.

I'm excited. The writer in me is excited. That challenge once again looking me squarely in the face... time to invent, interpret and inspire.

So here I go.... here we go..."

(To be continued)

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Re: Remembering Y&R's Jeanne Cooper

Postby HOT PINK » Thu Jun 20, 2013 12:41 pm

Good Thursday Afternoon, Everyone. Corbin posted this about two hours ago:

"The passing of James Gandolfini at 51 yesterday - a terrific actor I never had the good fortune of meeting or working with - reminds me of how lucky my mom was to make it to 84 and continue acting right up to the moments before her passing. It reminds me of my own luck to continue working (with 60 starring me down!)

I'm also struck with the reality of how fragile this life is. We are to some degree like a coastline, subtly shifting our shape and measure with the waters that touch our shores, and then, sometimes without warning, a rogue wave crashes down on us and changes our dimensions forever. In an instant, life is altered.

I suppose the take away is the old adage; live in the moment, appreciate the moment, live for today... any one of those. And they are true. But perhaps even more true is to appreciate the larger picture and appreciate the fragility. That's where you appreciate the gift of this life, in knowing it's full potentials; the ones we celebrate, and the ones we fear. Only in knowing those, appreciating the full scope of this life can we truly live in the moment. And all of this of course leads back to mom...

If ever there was someone who lived in the moment, it was her. 'No line on the horizon." She's the only person I've ever known who could utter a sentence that went something like this," You're a stupid little fu**er, a fu**ing idiot! How can I help you?" She let you know that you failed at the lowest level, but then in the same instant let you know that she was there to lift you up. And along the way, she didn't edit much. Sometimes that became a problem for those around her, especially me. Often, time was short and she'd go off on a rant (that ultimately had great meaning) but it would just go on and on. (Makes my rants here look like one word poems) I always knew there was some extremely important point being made, but I had to endure the full lecture if I was to find it. And that was often annoying. But I usually stayed the course and listened, struggling to mine the gold hidden in her speech. Thank God the phone would ring or some other Divine intervention came along to bring the lesson to a close, but by the end, I usually got it. That was her way, the moment was sometimes several minutes, but she was always in it! Fully! Committed.

I think that's why she uttered the improvised "Goodnight" in the final piece of acting that she would ever do. Something in her knew, instinctively, by being in the most precise of moments, that those would be her final words. That's what being in the moment is about.

So today, while I pray for James Gandolfini and his family, I will, from his premature passing, take that lesson and give personal meaning to a man I never met. I will appreciate the fragility of this gift of life, and in doing so resolve to live each moment of this day to it's fullest, filling it with light, beauty, love and grace.

May all the deaths of all our loved ones, our fellow man, not be in vein."

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Re: Remembering Y&R's Jeanne Cooper

Postby HOT PINK » Thu Jun 20, 2013 12:46 pm

Also, here's a little scenario Corbin posted about an hour ago. Hope you will all enjoy reading it.


There's a knock at the door. KATHERINE CHANCELLOR opens it, comes face to face with a TOUGH GUY who looks older and more worn than his years. They stare at each other for a long moment, sizing one another up before speaking. Finally…
KATHERINE: Can I help you?
MAN: Yeah, I’m not sure where I am. Can I come inside?
KATHERINE: I don’t know, can you?
The man looks at her quizzically, “what is that supposed to mean?” His eyes suddenly bear down on her, perhaps a little threatening.
MAN: Look, I don’t want any trouble, just move aside and let me in.
KATHERINE: Why don’t you just wait out here for a while and we’ll see.
MAN: What? You run this joint?
KATHERINE: It’s a bad habit.
MAN: You got a name?
KATHERINE: They call me Duchess.
MAN: Duchess? So, Duchess, is this is your "kingdom?"
KATHERINE: (laughing) Oh No. Not mine. What about you, you got a name?
MAN: Yeah, Tony. Tony Soprano.
KATHERINE: You a good man Tony Soprano?
He has to think about it, perhaps for the first time. Finally nods his head, ever so slightly.
TONY: Yeah, I think so.
Katherine smiles, a beam of light that feels so familiar – a recognition of truth.
KATHERINE: Yeah, I think so too. You and me, Mr. Soprano, we’re gonna get along just famously.
TONY: Good. So, you gonna let me in then? "Duchess?"
KATHERINE: No, not just yet. Why don’t you stand there for a moment and think about it.
TONY: It? What “it?”
KATHERINE: All of it. He’ll let you know.
TONY: Who--
She shuts the door on him, stands inside leaning against it, excitement clearly growing. Then slowly a smile creeps across her face… a player her equal has arrived! Game on!"

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Re: Remembering Y&R's Jeanne Cooper

Postby HOT PINK » Fri Jun 21, 2013 2:22 pm

Happy Friday, Everyone! It's officially SUMMER! Have a feeling it's going to be a HOT one! Here's Corbin's latest post:

"“Cut, take five everyone,” a powerful voice bellows from the bright lights above and beyond.

Katherine Chancellor quickly slips off her mask revealing the actress that breaths life into the character; Jeanne Cooper. A sense of delight and urgency play out in the twinkle of her eye, both at once. Somehow you know that the heart of each woman, character and actress are one in the same…A little “Duchess” in both realms.

Jeanne looks toward the door that only moments ago pretended to be part of a fortress against an intruder, an otherwise gentle guy playing tough, and knows there is a very real task at hand now. She cautiously steps around it, and there, just on the other side is James Gandolfini, not fully yet escaped from his Tony Soprano character or the uneasiness that comes with the journey he’s on. He looks lost… maybe even a bit sad. Jeanne studies him from a distance for a moment, smiles softly and then whispers over to her fellow actor, “Hey, you okay?” James looks up at her, the tough guy completely vanished, his eyes now filled with very human question, and a good dose of fear. He mumbles his answer, “I don’t know.” Jeanne smiles again, fully understanding his predicament, a familiar one, all too fresh in her own mind. “What can I call you? Jim, Jimmy.” He shrugs without looking up, “doesn’t really matter.”

Jeanne slowly walks toward him knowing that any sudden movement, any great gestures can only produce more panic at this moment. Then, only feet away she stops, looks at James once again, a new smile on her face suggesting nothing but compassion and empathy for the poor fellow. James looks up at her, worry and confusion clearly etched on his face. He tries to smile back but his lips fail him.

Waiting for an exact moment that only instinct can produce, Jeanne slowly opens her arms wide, inviting him into an embrace. He resists at first but knows he needs human contact… desperately. “What’s going on?” he’s able to utter, voice quivering a bit.

“Shhh,” Jeanne replies softly, arms still opened wide, “In due time.” Drawn to her like the secret and invisible forces of a magnet, James slowly drifts toward her, little or no resistance. There, he humbly settles into her open embrace. And only when she knows the time to be true and right, again pure instinct, she brings her arms in, enveloping him until he is fully within the cocoon of her comfort and love. His head slowly falls to her shoulders, his breath deepens; both fear and resolve working in unison. Then a gentle whisper works it’s way into his nearest ear, “It’ll be okay. You’re loved. By so many. And those you’ve left behind will be loved and taken care of… It will be okay.”

James’ breath finally finds it’s natural rhythm and he somehow knows that it will be okay.


There she is... still doing what she does best. I love you for that momma. Carry on..."

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Re: Remembering Y&R's Jeanne Cooper

Postby HOT PINK » Sun Jun 23, 2013 11:45 am

Hi, Everyone! Hope you are all having a lovely Sunday morning! Corbin posted this about an hour ago:

"Good Sunday to all.
I'm not a huge fan of being terribly obvious (though reading some of the more negative comments in recent days I imagine some would argue that - and it's welcomed with the rest) - but I found a great prayer my mother wrote in her notebook I'd like to share with you today - Sunday.

An interesting thing here however - which I'll try to convey in how I write this prayer down and remain truthful to her words as edited by her - in some instances she's replaced words at a later date. Critical ones! For instance, "Jesus Christ" simply became "Christ." And in some places she replaced "My Savior" with "A Savior." She must have done this some time later as it is with ink whereas the original writing - like most I found - were simply written in pencil. I'll give you the final version as best I can determine with parenthesis around the things she seemed to want to edit out. Regarding all that...

I think my mother constantly questioned her faith, Christ and even God. It's a fair process I'm all too familiar with. And I believe it's healthy. In the end, I know her faith, like mine, was sound, but like me, it was an ongoing exploration, a conversation taking nothing for granted but always, always knowing in the recesses of her mind and her honesty - her truth... that her relationship with God and Christ were sound - no matter what words she chose to convey them. Most importantly, and we've never discussed this much, I firmly believe she lived her life in a manner that Christ would have us do. I know her pain sometimes took her off the path, but again, it's only there, "off the path," "in that darkness" that we appreciate the light when our feet hit the road once again. In short, she was true. Always true, and NEVER took a single moment, thought, for granted - giving each their full due and consideration.

(This prayer is undated, but most likely early 1973 given where I found it in the notebook - perhaps even early January given the opening line.)


Almighty God, I ask of thee not a New Year but a new day, now. Grant to me thy will and sustain me to carry it out in my thoughts and labors. Strike my soul to the sensation of feeling joyous and good oh Heavenly Father. Demonstrate thy power of all things to me that I shall ever be aware "all is thy will" and nothing becomes mine. Grant to me the intellect to praise and thank you when I step forth and back to praise myself. Grant me the proper knowledge as to when I should give thanks to (my) A Savior, (Jesus) Christ in thy name for all the good I would do. (Oh Heavenly Father) Lift from me all things that dare to stand between me and your love. I love thee God; direct me and my actions to prove it. I ask it in the name of my (a) (Lord Jesus) Christ, a truth - a savior, and with whom I am a joint heir to thee. - Amen"

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Re: Remembering Y&R's Jeanne Cooper

Postby HOT PINK » Sun Jun 23, 2013 11:58 am

Hi, again. Posted Corbin's last two messages out of order. Sorry. He posted this on Saturday night:

"Spent the day digging deep into family history. We opened up a container with pieces of our life going back... well, a lifetime, and then some! Talk about a trip down memory lane! Of course there was plenty of junk, but from the darkness there is always light, and man, was there light! Incredible things that I'd long forgotten about...

The greatest treasure however was a notebook containing my mother's writings called "My Thoughts and Writings" - Jeanne Cooper Bernsen.

Let me set the stage for this... her "writings." My mom drank. She spent a good many years fighting her pain with the bottle. She's said it before so nothing new here. But during those days she still accomplished many remarkable things... She was, to my recollection, one of the original joggers. That's right. She would rise with the sun, put on her sweat suit - I think it was actually l an Adidas Track Suit - and then head for a pathway in a park that was very near our house. Every morning. And she would jog! I think it was the first time I heard the term "jog." "I'm going jogging!" Evidently it was all the rage. Anyway, when she got home from her "jog," she would have her tea and then hide away in our den and write. In the notebook I found today. Scribblings, stories, poems, index card thoughts, and the ole familiar rants - very stream of consciousness... sounding vaguely familiar?

Okay, let's get this out of the way, I NOW KNOW WHERE I GET IT FROM! Even the way she uses grammar - the "dash" like the one here - that was all her!

Suffice to say, the discovery of her writings was one thing today, to see her doing the very thing I do here, or rather me doing the same thing here that she did 45 years ago - pure delight!

So she rise early, she would jog, she would have her tea, and she would write. She would the go to work (sometimes) and then she drank! Always. This went on for a good 15 years I guess - some of it's blanked out - very conveniently.

I poured through much of what I found today and realized that her words were, to a large degree, I think, born of her pain. In the morning she wrote to get beyond it, in the evening she drank to forget it. That isn't to say they aren't exquisite words, but often they travel such distances between thoughts... I can only imagine her state of mind. All in all, they are gems, but for me, a subtle reminder of a war that constantly raged inside her. I don't believe she wrote much after the drinking stopped, which by the way, she did VERY MUCH on her own after some brief help. In the end, she won that battle and as far as I know, once she stopped, she never, drank again! Or wrote. All that remains are a few words scribbled that I found today.

(By the way, now the idea for a book is really coming - more on that in days ahead - but thinking now it might bounce back and forth between my discovery of her words today and some of the thoughts I've been posting from the day we set forth on this journey... )

Let's start of with one of her more "gentle ones..." I've copied her grammar exactly as written on the page - photo attached. This is pencil on notepaper.

PEACE - January 4, 1973

My name is peace
I'm a funny word.

I'm rarely noticed and
seldom heard.

I'm suited to begging,
and praying, I'm more

I'm dead to many
and to nations a bore

I'm hard to attain,
and more to increase

I'm often confused with my
cousin - piece

I'm a joy to labors
of those who try

I'm tear and trials
to the passers-by

I'm servant to purpose
place and things,

I'm gifts of little
ere not I be king.

My name is peace
I'm quite supreme,

I do exist, I'm not a dream.


Enough said... for tonight. Peace!"

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Re: Remembering Y&R's Jeanne Cooper

Postby HOT PINK » Wed Jun 26, 2013 4:04 pm

Hi, Everyone. Hope you are all have a nice afternoon. Corbin posed this about five hours ago:

"Sorry I've been out of touch for the last few days but I've been under a bit of a fog. I suppose digging through mom's things - littered with traces of our family history - and I do mean littered - "stuff" randomly tossed in boxes with the smallest little "this and that," mixed in like a leftover stew, but going through it all has opened doors of both joy and sorrow. I guess. I've been trying to heed my own words, her words; "experience it all, take it in, breath it and then from the darkness the light will be revealed." Sometimes easier said than done.

It's been "truth time" for me. I often sit here and write words of encouragement, lessons from my mom, faith and inspiration. Then when I least expect it, bam, time to live what you preach. And it's not easy. I feel as though perhaps I've "freight trained" my emotions and plowed right through this who period of grieving. I can feel something still bubbling away much deeper, now wanting it's due. To be honest, I haven't even had a good cry lately but feel all the ingredients needed so near the surface.

Many of you have warned me, advised me, through your own experiences of loosing a parent or a loved one, that the process is never really over and long at best. I know understand the shape of it, or rather the ever changing shape of it. I know it will also be a piece of me going forward; not a monkey on the back, but rather a newer branch of the tree that takes that grows outward on it's own accord but still firmly a part of the tree. In that sense, it is a continuation of life itself. Like it or not. It will always be present and feed along with the rest of the tree. And have it's own weight and balance.

Summer is coming and I do look forward to things brightening, but I know I can't force it. Honestly, I want for it to all "pass," but know that isn't something in my control. I can manufacture the semblance of good days, but the truth of those days will always be a part of the process - and for me at least - God's design of my journey - the mystery further revealed.

So, that's where I'm at. Slugging my through it, hands firmly on the wheel, foot on the pedal, wipers on, driving through the storm. Clearing ahead. I'm certain."

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