"I Lost The War"
by Devin Owens
Y&R's Sharon Case Talks Candidly About The Heartbreaking Decision To End Her Marriage
Just like the beleaguered heroine she plays in daytime, Sharon Case (Sharon, Y&R) happily entered her marriage with businessman Sandy Corzine in 2007 full of joy and promise. Almost three years later, the union is coming to a painful end, and here, the actress gives an exclusive interview to Digest about moving on.
Soap Opera Digest: Why did you decide to go public about such a sensitive subject? Sharon Case: I knew I had to make a comment at some point because people keep asking me questions, so it makes sense to just be honest. Otherwise, it leaves everything just hanging there. I am private about these things and that probably comes from being shy. Sandy and I split up a year ago, but I'm just now talking about it. One of the reasons is because it was very hard and emotional for me. Another reason [is that] all along, I didn't know what was going to end up happening. I really hoped that we would work things out. Digest: Why didn't you just issue a press statement when you first separated? Case: I felt that would've just invited more questions and speculation, and all those things are so hard. They make you break down when you're not ready to talk about it. It's too raw still. I just waited. I didn't rush myself by making a statement. I just thought, "I'll know when the time is right." I tried not to force anything on the topic for me or him. I wanted to give everything plenty of time and be patient to see what would happen. I was really holding out hope for a very long time, so I didn't want to say anything definitively. Digest: You're very much like your character, in that marriage is very important to you. Case: I guess I am like Sharon--I will hold on till there's nothing left to hold on to. I really work hard at things and give it my all. I definitely gave my marriage everything I had and then some. I'm so sad that it's over. I'm utterly devastated and have been all year, but I'm feeling stronger. I can talk about it without falling apart, so that's probably a pretty good sign that I'm ready to be open about it. Digest: You would've been married three years this April. How long did you know Sandy before you got married? Case: Two and a half years, so we didn't rush into anything. I was absolutely in love. I still love Sandy and I'll love him forever. I absolutely adore him. That's what makes this so hard and tragic. Digest: Are you still friends? Case: I don't know if we'll ever be pals. It's not that we don't get along, but we're just not friends. That's not a bad thing. It would just be too hard. Digest: Did you ever have any second thoughts before you said "I do"? Case: No, I was totally ready. I was thrilled about getting married. We had a long engagement, so it wasn't like it was rushed and I didn't have time to really think about it. That was never the problem. Digest: You got married in a small ceremony in Mexico. Can you describe what it was like? Case: It wasn't even a small ceremony; we eloped. Nobody else was there. We didn't have any family or friends with us. The hotel threw an absolutely beautiful wedding and I love Mexico. I never wanted to do it any other way. A lot of my friends talk about planning their big weddings and I think that's great if that's what you really want, but I always wanted to elope. Digest: Did you later have a reception with your friends and family back in the U.S.? Case: We thought about doing that, but when we got home, everything was so perfect that I didn't want to add anything more to it. Digest: Experts say the first year of marriage is the most challenging. How would you sum up your first year as husband and wife? Case: It was full of hope, but it was a struggle. I think it's true that what problems you have before you're married are amplified afterward. They don't go away. They're even more so, actually. Digest: You were really looking forward to becoming a mother right away. Did you both decide to wait or did that become an issue? Case: We were forced to wait because of issues that came up. That was disappointing. Some people think a baby is going to fix everything, but I would never try that. But motherhood was definitely weighing on me a lot because more and more time was going by. At one point, I was even thinking, "This may never happen." So when we split up, that was the really hard part about it. Not only was I losing my husband, who I had planned on being married to for the rest of my life, but now, I may never become a mother. We'll see, but you never know. I don't think it's absolutely over for me, but in our scenario, it was a letdown. Digest: When did you really feel in your heart that your marriage was in trouble? Case: Within the first few months, actually, but even then I had such high hopes. I came into this marriage with so much energy that I thought, "Whatever is the problem, we're going to fix it." I had a lot of enthusiasm, but I lost the war. I didn't think I would, but I did. Digest: Did you ever seek marriage counseling? Case: No. I know some people think it works, but I never had any luck in the past with couples counseling. Digest: Did you talk to any of your friends about what was going on? Case: Rarely. I'm not one to sit down with even my closest friends and blather on about my problems. I don't want to live my life where I'm constantly dwelling on problems. When I'm with my friends, I use that as a break from my problems and recharge, not spend the time rehashing things. My friends would have an idea that there were problems in my marriage, but I never went into horrible detail. It's hard for someone on the outside to really understand what's going on in a relationship. Also, out of respect for Sandy, I didn't want to carry on about what our problems were. Digest: Who did you lean on the most through this? Case: My sister and my best friend Elis. She and her boyfriend Ken took excellent care of me. They let me go out with them every Saturday night and be the third wheel. They were great friends and that's all I needed. We didn't even talk about Sandy because I wanted to come out to forget what I was going through. I wanted to give myself a break from thinking about it all the time. I find it more therapeutic to not talk about it. Digest: Did you have good cries in private? Case: Oh, I always do. My dog really helped me through it. His name is Marco, but another hard thing in all of this, was six months after Sandy and I separated, my dog Jack that I had for 16 years passed away. He was my little boy and died of old age. It was so sad and then I was really alone in the house. Now I have sweet little Marco. He's a Chihuahua. He was a rescue dog and he was calling my name from his cage at the animal shelter. He had his paws stretched out as far as he could to try and reach me as I walked by. I held him and he instantly snuggled up in my arms. So I said, "That's it. I have to have this dog." I had been looking around at all the shelters for a couple of months. It was so exciting to bring him home. It was like bringing home a new baby, which was great because I had been so sad. I fell apart after losing Jack. Digest: Are you still living in the same house that you shared with your husband? Case: Yes. Digest: Was that a rough adjustment? Case: It was in the beginning. Like everyone says, it just takes time, but sometimes, that's hard to hold on to when you're going through a rough patch. It's hard to tell yourself to look into the future and know you're going to be better because you just can't see that. This was very difficult for me emotionally, but hearing my friends tell me about the tough times they overcame really helped me. Digest: Have you been dating? Case: When you're getting divorced, the last thing you want to do is date. I definitely took a long break in that department. Like I said, I was still hoping my marriage would turn around even while we were separated, so it's not like I jumped back into the dating world. I'm taking my time. There's no need to rush into anything. My plan is not to force anything and just be open to whatever comes. When you get married, you map out your whole life. You can see your future, whereas before you couldn't. Then you get used to seeing that future, so when that goes away, it's destabilizing. It's a long and difficult transition. Digest: It sounds like the whole experience hasn't left you bitter about marriage. Case: Not at all. It's funny, but I was never the kind of person who wanted to get married. I never dreamed about marriage like other people do, but when I got married, I fell in love with it. Even though my marriage didn't work out, there's something about being married that I really loved. I was the happiest when I was married. I loved being a wife. So it was a big loss, but what I realized about myself is that I should have gotten married a long time ago [ laughs ]. I didn't know I was going to like it that much. Digest: Are you officially divorced? Case: Just about. Digest: Has working on Y&R been a helpful distraction? Case: Oh, yeah. This job keeps me busy because there's so much to think about. You're here for long hours and around a lot of people, so that was really helpful. That got me through each day. It was shampoo, rinse and repeat, and before I knew it, six months went by. Digest: Any regrets about getting married? Case: Absolutely not. It was the happiest day of my life.