Like the Corner of My Mind

Wednesday, November 29th, 2006

Olivia returns to San Cristobel to revisit her past. Jeffrey finds her there and they make some discoveries about the night that changed their lives.

Like the Corner of My Mind image

Olivia wants to put things behind her

Olivia is leaving messages for Buzz, wondering why he didn't propose to her. She gets anxious and goes looking for him, finally finding him walking out of the movies. She tells him that Coop told her about his plans. He's flustered and throws his popcorn down. He loves her, but he's realized that, since this thing with Jeffrey came out, they just don't 'fit together' when it counts. She's too angry; she hates Jeffrey more than she could ever love him. Olivia can't deny this; he may be right, but she wants to change and let her anger go. She hugs him and tells him not to get rid of the ring yet.

Olivia says goodbye to Emma before getting on a plane for San Cristobel. She goes to visit the house that she grew up in. It's been virtually abandoned for years and still has much of the furniture she had when she lived there. She sits down at the dressing table and remembers the night of the ball, how she made herself up and her mother tried to stop her from going, warning her of what was in store for her. She snuck out anyway and they let her into the ball without either an invitation or ID. When she entered, she found Jeffrey lurking in the corner with a glass in his hand. She begins to look through the dresser, finding the diary she hid in the false bottom of one of the drawers. She begins to read it aloud to herself and is appalled by how nave she was.

She goes to the Embassy ballroom and details of the night begin flooding back to her. Memories of the night begin to change. Now she can recall that the doorman refused to let her in without ID or an invitation. She tries to show a lot of skin and act seductive but she couldn't get in without someone vouching for her. She spots Jeffrey alone in the corner and asks him to be her date and vouch for her. He agrees and she drags him onto the dance floor. While Olivia remembers this, she can't believe herself at that age and begins telling herself how foolish she is; he doesn't realize that she's only flirting.

The memory breaks off as tears come from Olivia's eyes and she heads for the door only to find Jeffrey there. They're disturbed to see one another. She tries to leave but he tells her that that night destroyed his life too. He's returned there because he wants to know exactly what happened; memory has a habit of playing tricks on you. Olivia tells him that 'no matter what path you walk down memory lane, the view will still be ugly.' She leaves him alone. He can remember the night now: He watches himself with Olivia and is disgusted. He begs himself to stop. Ditkins stands by watching the whole event. He was only waiting for Jeffrey to make one more mistake so that he could own him for life. When Jeffrey tries to confront Ditkins, he tells him that he only has himself to blame for everything that happened; he got her drunk and took advantage of her. Jeffrey's younger self tells him that she never said 'no' and he couldn't stop himself; he's still the man he was then.

Olivia returns and Jeffrey tries to apologize; he was stupid and could only think of doing whatever he could get away with. Olivia says that she made mistakes too and she is sorry that she did. She realizes that she wanted it all; she wanted trouble and that's what Jeffrey was. She just wanted to escape from her mother and feel alive, 'to prove I was me and make things happen.' She starts crying and Jeffrey awkwardly embraces her as they collapse on the floor. He asks her if there's a limit to how much people can hurt each other. She hasn't found it and saying 'sorry' is just words; it doesn't change anything. 'That night killed someone: My mother.' She remembers how much she resented and fought with her mother until she finally had a stroke. After that, she just went through a series of failed marriages; she is 'too toxic' to make any relationship work.

Jeffrey follows Olivia back to her childhood home and tells her that she needs to stop punishing herself. He tried to change, he changed his name, his face and everything else, but in the end he could put no distance between himself and that night. She still blames herself for her mother's death but he insists that all the shame in the world doesn't cause strokes. She's no saint, but she's not a killer. He offers her his St. Jude's medal, saying that it reminds him that things can be turned around. She tells him that he might have made a good mayor because 'you make good speeches' and walks away.

He follows her all the way home; he wants to put the pasty behind them. Olivia believes that he only wants to do this for himself, to make himself feel better. If he really wants to do something for her, he will stay away from Ava. 'She's a terminal soft touch' and she'll want to get to know him, but he has no right to be involved in her life. Jeffrey says that, if that will help her move on, he will stay away from Ava. Olivia slightly nods and states finally: 'We're nothing to each other' before closing the door on him. He wanders outside and watches Coop and Ava from a distance while he remembers what Ditkins told him.

Olivia embraces Emma and puts her to bed. There's a knock on the door: It's Buzz. She pulls him into the room eagerly and begs him not to give up on her. He senses that something has happened. She says that she's had a revelation and realizes that she has to change; she only wants love in her life now.

Next on GL:Alan offers Jonathan a way to get back with Tammy. Harley continues to try and have a baby with Gus. Ashlee drags Dinah and Mallet back to the outside world.

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