Glee Recap: Previously Unaired Christmas.Thursday, December 05 2013
Kitty struggles with self-worth, Santana, Kurt, and Rachel play elves, and Sam and Tina reach out to Becky.
Jane Lynch announces that tonight’s "Glee" was previously deemed too raunchy to air.
In the choir room Will tells the kids that the theme for McKinley’s annual decorating contest is "Green is Good." Sam asks for everyone’s help to win, but Tina demands it. Blaine starts to sing but no one is in the mood. Later, Coach Bieste calls the Christmas club to order and after learning that Figgins’ nativity scene was defaced, he wants a living one instead. Jake is cast as Joseph. Marley wants to be Mary because she is a virgin, which doesn’t shock Kitty at all.
Santana and Kurt exchange gifts and drink egg nog in the New York loft. She encourages Kurt to live it up now that he is single. She can’t stand to be in Lima after what happened with Britney and is going to stay in New York for the holiday. Rachel arrives home, shocked to see Santana. She is very excited that she has gotten gigs for her and Kurt as elves at the Midtown Mall and asks Santana to join them.
Back at McKinley, Sam and Tina discuss decorations in the hall. Becky stops them, wearing a mistletoe hat, and demands tongue kisses from both of them. Tina thinks Sue lets Becky get away with everything. Sue arrives and sends Becky to the nurse’s office since she is wearing poison sumac, not mistletoe. Sue tells Tina and Sam she will adjust her behavior toward Becky so it is more like everyone else. Sue is also excited to judge the decorating contest so she can place them last.
At Midtown Mall the children are restless. Kurt is regretting his tights and Santana’s look is very naughty elf. Santa pulls up on a small train and is obviously drunk. He insults Kurt’s sexuality before leaving them alone with the kids. To stall, Rachel, Kurt, and Santana sing "Here Comes Santa Claus." After, the kids still revolt.
At McKinley, Marley suggests to Kitty that they both audition for the role of Mary, but Kitty tells her she doesn’t want it – although if she did, she would have it.
From the mall, Kurt and Rachel desperately call Santana to come back and play Mrs. Claus, but she has slipped off and is soaking in the tub. Reluctantly she joins them and they announce her to the screaming kids. Santana is incredibly inappropriate as Mrs. Claus.
At McKinley, New Directions and Will sing "Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree" while all of the different clubs decorate the school. Later, they hum "O Christmas Tree" as Sue looks over their tree. She has to admit for once they didn’t totally screw up. Later, Will and Bieste hold virgin auditions in the auditorium. Unique, Tina, and Marley sing "Mary’s Little Boy Child." Kitty walks out instead of auditioning.
Back at the mall, Sexy Claus Cody arrives to help Rachel, Kurt and Santana and invites himself over for dinner.
At McKinley, Sue announces the glee club as the contest winners and Becky gets so mad she breaks the trophy. Later, Marley is cast as Mary and Kitty gives her attitude about it. Marley thinks it seems like this is something Kitty really wants and suggests they work something out with Will. Kitty doesn’t think she deserves to play Mary.
Back in New York, Rachel, Santana and Kurt get the loft ready for Sexy Claus. He arrives shirtless and can’t believe how great their place is considering they are all struggling actors. When he learns they met in glee club, he blows up some helium balloons and they sing "The Chipmunk Song (Christmas Don’t Be Late)."
At McKinley, Becky gives Sam and Tina her baby teeth, a gift as pure as baby Jesus, and congratulates them on their win.
Back at the loft Rachel tries to convince Santana to move to New York, but here is no way she could leave her scholarship at the University of Louisville. They find Kurt making out with Sexy Claus, who lets the girls know he swings both ways and encourages them all to drink up. They toast to being naughty this Christmas. The next morning Santana and Rachel wake up covered in tinsel and totally hung over. Their place has been robbed and they find Kurt hog tied with garland, wearing antlers.
Marley and the glee kids concoct a plan to get Kitty to play Mary so she knows she is worthy. They make her think Unique is taking the role on and Unique, Tina, and Marley sing "Love Child" by The Supremes in full-on diva outfits and a baby Jesus in a sequin diaper. Kitty is horrified and refuses to let them destroy the most beautiful story ever told. She demands to play Mary. Later, Sam and Tina tell Becky there was a recount and she won the contest instead. They give her the angel and tell her there is a part for her in the nativity as well.
In the loft, Kurt is so ashamed. Rachel tells him and Santana that Cody ransacked the mall too and even took the Salvation Army money. They have all been fired. No worries - she has a new gig for them.
At the living nativity, Becky is baby Jesus, Kitty is Mary, and they all sing "Away in a Manger." In New York, Rachel, Kurt, and Santana sing that same song as store window dressing.
Here we are again, heading into another long hiatus. I honestly think it might have been less confusing if the show had just quietly jumped ahead to winter instead of concocting this lost episode stunt, but it was hilarious because they know just how ridiculous it was too, with Sue commenting about Will’s lost Washington career and non-existent annual decorating contest. Still, it was a little raunchy, but not anything beyond typical "Glee" standards and really, it's what gives the show a certain John Waters flair.
Glee returns February 25, 2014 in its new time slot of 8:00 PM on Tuesdays, and hopefully that will be the beginning of the track to the end. I want to see more New York, more Broadway, and more consistency in the characters and relationships. Will they move forward with Rachel and Sam? I think I might scream if his school nurse girlfriend reappears.
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- Hollie Deese