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    Magical Mystery Tours.

    Friday, October 05 2012
    Dante looks for Joe, Sonny wonders how to commit Kate, and Connie and Johnny spend their first night as man and wife.

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    Posted by Scrimmage at Friday, October 05 2012 09:23 PM

    All I know is, if it was up to m...

    Announcer: “May I have your attention please: We interrupt this post to bring you a special presentation. Live from the lounge at the fabulous MetroCourt Hotel in the heart of downtown Port Charles, please put your hands together for Scrimmage's alter, Borscht Belt Stand-up comedian, SHECKY!” tremendous applause from the audience

    Shecky: Thank you! Oh, thank you! You're beautiful! Thank you very much.

    Well, it's great to back here in beautiful Port Charles, but after that Toxic Water business, it's great to be anywhere! (ba-dump-bum)

    How about this hotel, the MetroCourt, huh? Just beautiful, and so exclusive! Room service has an unlisted number. (ba-dump-bum) Thank you, I'm here all week.

    What a place! There was a girl knocking on my hotel room door all night. Finally, I let her out. (ba-dump-bum) Thank you, thank you very much.

    And how 'bout that Connie, or Kate, or whatever she's calling herself? What a nightmare! It would be like going to bed with my first wife, and waking up with my second! (ba-dump-bum)

    They asked Connie “Why don't you want to marry Sonny?”
    Connie said, “Fear of commitment!”(ba-dump-bum) gales of laughter from the audience
    Thank you, thank you very much. Be sure to tip your waitresses.

    I heard the doctor called Kate saying, "Ms. Howard, your check came back."
    Kate answered, "So did my alter!"(ba-dump-bum) Thank you, thank you very much. You've got excellent taste.

    These psychiatrists! I don't trust any of them. They don't know what they’re talking about.

    I went to a psychiatrist once. I said "Nobody ever listens to me!" The doctor says, "Next!"(ba-dump-bum)
    Thank you. Don't forget Karaoke Night every Thursday here in the lounge.

    He took one look at me and says, "You're crazy" I said, "I want a second opinion!"
    "Okay, you're ugly too!" (ba-dump-bum)

    And what's with this Johnny guy? Have you ever SEEN a more incompetent mobster? He tried to blow up a car, but he burned his lips on the exhaust pipe! (ba-dump-bum)

    So now Connie and Johnny are married. Well, I wish them luck. I've been in love with the same woman for 49 years.applause from the audience Thank you.
    If my wife every finds out, she'll kill me! (ba-dump-bum)

    My wife and I always hold hands. If I let go, she shops. (ba-dump-bum)

    My wife will buy anything marked down. Last year she bought an escalator. (ba-dump-bum)

    She was at the beauty shop for two hours. That was only for the estimate. (ba-dump-bum)

    She got a mudpack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off. (ba-dump-bum)

    The other day she ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late for the garbage?" "No, jump in!" (ba-dump-bum) waves of laughter from the audience Oh thank you. You're too kind.

    I know I kid around, and I make fun of people, but I'm trying to be a better human being. Just last night, a man was drunk at the bar, so I picked him up off the floor, and offered to take him home. On the way to my car, he fell down three times. When I got to his house, I helped him out of the car, and on the way to the front door, he fell down four more times. I rang the bell and said, "Here's your husband!" The man's wife said, "Where's his wheelchair?" (ba-dump-bum) lots of laughter from the audience, and a standing ovation.

    Thank you! Goodnight! You’ve been a beautiful audience.

    Posted by Cynic at Friday, October 05 2012 09:44 PM

    I just watched the episode again, and it was the Police Station, not the hospital, where Trey was being attacked, and the cops stood around and let it happen. Poor Trey must feel like Kenny in South Park.

    I don't know why Scrimmage has taken such a dislike to Trey, I think he is adorable, and all along he has objected to his father's plans.

    Posted by Cynic at Friday, October 05 2012 09:55 PM

    Perhaps the Falconeris could put Connie in a nunnery.

    Posted by Cynic at Friday, October 05 2012 10:06 PM

    Scrimmage's fantasy scenario really made me laugh. Johnny and Connie will be their very own episode of "Mob Wives".

    Posted by Midas at Friday, October 05 2012 11:18 PM

    Scrimmage aka "Shecky", that was one of the best comedy routines I have heard or read.😆 I have to give you a thumbs up for that. 👍
    You are very talented. Is writing your calling, or is it your passion?
    I thoroughly enjoy your 'if I had written it' scenes. They are very entertaining. I'm still on the fence about the "Who's On First" s/l with Kate and Connie. You and others have given some well thought-out scenarios as to who is the original and who is the alter. But, it isn't that important for me to understand right now. I'm just enjoying Ms. Sullivan's acting.
    Keep up the good work! 👏

    Posted by Midas at Friday, October 05 2012 11:20 PM

    I don't think my last post was OT because your comedy routine involved GH characters and s/l's. and I did comment about a character from the show.

    Posted by Scrimmage at Friday, October 05 2012 11:46 PM

    Cynic wrote: “I don't know why Scrimmage has taken such a dislike to Trey, I think he is adorable”

    Yeah, I'm sure Tracy thought the same thing about his father. They're two of a kind. A couple of cheap hustlers who use their good looks to take advantage of damaged, depressed, lonely women with money. That's exactly what Trey was doing, long before Joe Jr. came into the picture, when he convinced Nuke into thinking that the whole “Mob Princess” thing was HER idea, when the truth is, this version of Kristina couldn't come up with an original idea like that if she was the only person on the planet!

    He was exploiting her for father's notoriety, purposefully fanning the flames of her resentment of her parents, and violating her family's privacy with his camera crew in tow, and a smirk on his smart-ass face, all the while hiding behind Nuke's skirts. He wanted to make a name for himself and a quick, easy buck which is something I would expect from some community college film school graduate, but not from someone with an Ivy League education, and a degree from Yale. He's squandering his life on this lowest common denominator reality show crap, instead of taking advantage of the incredible opportunities that are available to someone with his education. That is, if he actually WENT to Yale, of course.

    The point is, he's a dishonest, lazy, underachiever who doesn't respect women, yet he lets them fight his battles for him, and he's a guy who has an over inflated opinion of himself, and no sense of common decency.

    Sure, he's been taken down a peg or two by recent events, but he's still the same smarmy guy he was when he first showed up, just not as cocky. He's already demonstrated his complete lack of character, and there's no reason to believe that anything has changed about that just because his family tree has been shaken up all of a sudden. He was a douche when he first showed up as Trey Mitchell, and he's even a bigger douche now as Joseph Mitchell Scully III.

    But besides that, if you think he's adorable, I'll just have to take your word for it.

    Midas - Thanks. I'm just an amateur with higher aspirations, but I truly appreciate the encouragement.

    Posted by Scrimmage at Friday, October 05 2012 11:50 PM

    ***off topic***

    Midas - P.S. Who is this "Shecky" you refer to? Doesn't ring a bell with me.

    My goodness, it's late! Where did the time go?

    Posted by Cynic at Saturday, October 06 2012 03:28 AM

    Well Scrimmage, we agree to disagree on Trey. There is just one point you made that I saw differently, and that is that the TV show mob princess was Trey's idea long before Joe came into the picture. I'm sure he said that it was Joe who put him up to it and provided the money for the show. It was a long term plan to get back at Sonny. Yes he came across as sleazy and cocky, but that was how he was written. He met Kristina at Yale, where he may or may not have been a graduate student, and where Joe had probably tracked Kristina down, although it might just have been a chance meeting. Joe seems to have given him all the love he has ever known, while secretly poisoning his mind. I don't think we should be blaming Trey for the brainwashing he has received. Up to now his father has been his whole world, and his introduction to his mother ties in with what his father has been saying all along.

    Your stand up routine was pure Henny Youngman. I loved Billy Chrystal in 'Mr. Saturday Night', in which he played a Borscht belt comic, and play it whenever I need a good chuckle.

    Posted by akita at Saturday, October 06 2012 06:38 AM

    I just had to come back. Can we say ATTENTION- SEEKER / NARCISSIST?

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