GH 7/27: That first step is a doozy
Previously on General Hospital
Ethan came out of surgery alive. Useless Maya sat by his side. Ethan endearingly asked her to hold up fingers and ask him how many b/c he always wanted to be injured enough that someone had to do that. Ethan remembers the carnage, and he wants to celebrate his continue existence with her. She admits to almost letting him die.
Patrick and Shawn Douglas worked on Mac's innards in a most disturbing looking way. Sort of like they were kneading meatloaf with tongs instead of performing a number of precision operations on delicate internal organs. Robin and Maxie sat with their nasty tennis shoes up on a sofa and worried they would lose their father. Maxie bitched at Lisa and called her a manipulative home wrecker. Robin cluelessly doesn't get what this means. Mac, of course, survived, so Maxi made out with Shawn D in the sun-dappled supply closet.
Lucky helped Nik and Liz search for Aidan "as if he was his own son" wonk wonk.
Stephen told Olivia that Ethan lived, thanks to her. But mostly they flirted.
Sonny had Max buy a laptop for Walsh, which Diane thinks will be an aphrodisiac. Sonny summoned Alexis to tell her about the shooting. Alexis blamed herself in an aggravating way that I think was supposed to be comical. Meanwhile Max gave Diane a fabulous foot massage, and then they teased Walsh that Sonny seduces women the exact same way every time, and they end up losing their jobs, crazy, pregnant, or all of the above. They try to guess which Schtup Step she's up to. Walsh says this is ridiculous, but she later walked in on Sonny comforting Alexis and was clearly jealous. Which was gross.
Lisa taunted Patrick that she was in Forced Coupling with Robin, who is convinced Patrick would never cheat on her. Lisa finds that curious. I guess Lisa is this year's Heather Webber? Crazy and cheating and confused why people don't like that.
A drag queen recited the words to Mad World while Adam Lambert sang them, which is almost redundant.
Dante was pissed that Jason pushed Franco off a ledge b/c supposedly only he knows where Aidan is. Jason insisted Franco jumped,. which is what wesaw happen. Later Jason pulled a gun on Dante and threatened to murder him as payback for all that Michael suffered in prison. Dante said killing him would make Michael feel bad, and then Dante dared Jason to kill him.
On with the show:
Scenes from an Italian Restaurant: Alexis assures Walsh that nothing is going on between her and Sonny b/c she's already suffered the humiliation of a tryst. They fill Walsh in on K-Dad's shooting up the hospital. Walsh says it makes sense b/c Mr. B has been increasingly nutty. She muses to Alexis that it must be difficult to share a child with Sonny.
Liz squeaks to Nik about her missing baby. Stephen shows up to fill them in about the carnage and that Mac and Ethan were shot and Mac shot Mr. B and everyone is already better.
Sun Dappled Supply Closet: Maxie and Shawn D make out.
Barthelona: So yuck yuck yuck, Skye and Jax are in Barthelona and some set of hijinks ensue that involves some woman who I don't care about and a fake fight between Jax and Skye that I care less about.
Nurse's Station: Lisa gets all "I'm not gonna be ignored, Dan" about their affair. I hope Emma doesn't have a bunny! Robin shows up and says she can guess what this is about. I think she's going to say something clueless like Lisa pat are fighting about a patient. She says it's about Lisa sleeping with her husband. ruh roh. But after the credits, of course, she's still clueless and thinks Lisa is simply trying to get into her husband's draw string pants and not that she already has.