BELLA MAFIA BLOG
MAY 3 2012
While some may have had a tough time with Jason and Sam having yet one more argument, I was actually okay with it. First and foremost, they were finally in the same space together. Second, and most importantly, they actually did more than just argue. Jason and Sam, though tough for us to watch, finally got some of the tough stuff said. Jason had to stop hiding behind his jealousy and had to face the cold, hard truth out loud that (they think) Sam is carrying Franco’s baby. Sure, it’s hard for Jason to hear, but guess what, dammit? It’s even harder for Sam to say to herself every single day! I was so proud of Sam for not apologizing anymore, not even for John McBain! She told Jason he couldn’t blame her for any of that, because he just kept showing up – and she had no control over any of it! *applause*
FINALLY! Sam has nothing to apologize for, and furthermore, she pointed out to Jason just how hypocritical he was being in that he was angry at Sam for talking to someone she barely knows, but he was talking to someone he has a history with. The look on Jason’s face when he heard it for himself was pretty damned satisfying. But, you know what was even more satisfying? Watching Sam point it out, and then hearing her move on to the fact that neither Liz nor John are the problem for her and Jason! *Shouting hallelujah!* I hope the haters lined up to have their butts handed to them, because for all of their talk about how insecure Sam is, I didn’t hear a shred of insecurity in her statement! Sam used Liz to make a point about how clueless Jason was about the double standards he was placing on Sam. That’s it. Sam was all about her and Jason and the issue they are facing – which is whether or not Jason can love the baby, and obviously he is struggling with the thought of it right now.
I give Jason (a smidgen) of credit for telling Sam that it’s not her fault, because even though she knows it, she needed to hear it from her husband. However, I really think Jason needs an (over)dose of reality. And his reality, as we already know, is that Jason “knows what his life is like without Sam, and he wants her in it.” I think we saw that in the shock that caused him to let Sam’s hands drop when she said she was moving out. Those scenes reminded me so much of their painful conversation after their second kiss on December 9, 2004, where Sam was leaving because she felt she had no choice, and Jason just didn’t know how to ask her to stay. Back then, it was the unknown that made Jason feel he had no right to fight for Sam, and I felt that same uncertainty in him today. Jason would never want to purposely hurt Sam, and he sees that it hurts her when he can’t make her any promises about the baby, as hard as that is to believe. Just like back then, he thinks the least selfish thing to do is to not ask her to stay through the uncertainty, and while I HATE it, I have been a fan long enough to understand how he could slip back to being that kind of emotional chicken. There were other reminders of that first time Sam left as well. His not knowing what to do when she came down with her bag, his trying to come up with a different solution, it was all so familiar to me. When Sam walked over and picked up the dragon, and told him she still believed that they were stronger together, I felt a lump immediately form in my throat. When Jason asked, “Why leave?”, my lips trembled, because I know what it cost for him to ask that, when he thinks he is doing the right thing for Sam. But when Sam answered she was leaving because she needed him to believe that, the tears came. Believing is the key, and unless he can do that, she knows there’s no use in staying. (Just like in ’04 *tears*) I have to admit that the little things that went into this scene really did strike a tender chord with me: The fact that Sam took the dragon with her, and not the phoenix, was beautiful and meaningful. It shows that she still believes in Jason’s ability to be the protection she told Jason the baby needed. That says so much to us about her love and her faith in him, even when he has no faith in himself.
My JaSam-Loving heart heard all of the unspoken stuff loud and clear. Like when Sam walked past him to take her suitcase, and Jason put his hand on the handle, fighting the need to wrestle her for it. (Anyone remember Jason taking Sam’s hand off the elevator button?) Back in 2004, Jason let Sam go, even though it tore his heart out, and even though it made us want to throw him down the elevator shaft. Jason let her go today, too. The best parallel I see in all of this is that it didn’t take Jason long at all to realize the mistake he’d made. Not then; not today. Jason was left to suffer silently as he cried and held only the tiny phoenix in his hand, and reminisced about the sweet moments where they exchanged the perfect gifts. Those memories made Jason realize that Sam was, in fact, the one to “turn bad luck into good.” The pain in his eyes made me terribly sad as he stared at Sam’s (lovely) picture. But I had to admit that “It Couldn’t Happen To A Nicer Guy.” This hurt is exactly what Jason needs right now to help him see what was right in front of him all along: Together, he and Sam, the phoenix and the dragon, bring double happiness.
Hang in there, beloved!