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Move over Magic Mike! (ABC)

Did we just make a baby? (ABC)

The GH Rant from May 4 - 8:

The Nurses’ Ball, mob hits, and a secret that more people keep learning about yet aren’t exposing were just a few of the things going on in Port Charles this week. Let’s discuss on what went down on "General Hospital."

The Nurses’ Ball 2015.
I thought that this year’s ball was okay. Some viewers love the ball, while others hate it. I find it to be a fun break from the usual humdrum of the show, but half way through you just want it to wrap up and end. Patrick and Emma’s performance was absolutely adorable and the scene-stealer of the entire thing. Because "99 Luftballons" is one of my favorite songs from the eighties, I loved Obrecht’s over the top balloon popping performance as well. I actually wished she had crashed the opening number again, as that stale thing just needs to go! I felt that Magic Milo and the Haunted Starlets, were just ehh this year. The Starlets were the only ones to really perform anything contemporary. One of these years it would be great to see Lucy not end up in her underwear. Yes it’s a tradition, but maybe it’s time to end that one.

Don’t call me "townie."
It was only a matter of time before they used that mask of Spencer’s to pull off a Phantom joke. The way he crashed the ball was brilliant, but it would have been more enjoyable if it weren’t for the fact that it was yet again over Cam and Emma. Many viewers aren’t amused by the love lives of ten year olds and don’t understand why the writers aren’t getting this memo.

Alicia Leigh Willis returned as the ghost of Courtney Matthews because Spencer was down in the dumps over his face and loosing Emma. These scenes were touching, as all Spencer has ever wanted was a mom to love him. Not only did she get him to face his face, but she gave him a talking to for calling people like Cameron townies. She pointed out that she was a townie too. It’s about time someone disciplined Spencer, I just never expected it to be his mother’s ghost. Something tells me she’s going to need to come around a lot more, as Spencer likely won’t be learning any good moral lessons from Nikolas with the way he’s acting.

Spinelli and Maxie’s mistake.
Nathan and Ellie’s plan to attend the ball together to make Spinelli and Maxie jealous worked like a charm, and now everyone is with who they are supposed to be. This silly storyline lasted far longer than it needed to. Hopefully Maxie will not do anything to flub things with Nathan again, as Ellie and Nathan did make a cute couple.

The not so secret that is Jake/Jason.
In last week’s GH blog I suggested that it might be an interesting twist if Liz didn’t reveal the truth about Jake, and this week she did just that. I wasn’t surprised, as there were just too many secrets being revealed and something had to be kept. Her speech to Nicholas about how she was tired of being run over by life time and time again was actually great because it was finally nice to see her not being such a wimp. Now I’m not excusing Liz, and she’s going to pay for this when the truth comes out. However part of me would like to see Jake choose to remain with Liz, especially if he never remembers his former life. Oddly enough though, Liz and Nikolas are now more perfect for one another than ever since they’re both walking on the dark side. Oh and yeah, Liz is totally going to end up pregnant after her one night with Jake. We can all see that is coming! I bet they’ll even name the baby Jason. What do you think? Vote in Soaps.com's General Hospital Poll: Will Liz end up pregnant?

Not only does Liz know the truth, but Hayden does too. As I also theorized last week, she’s using it to blackmail Nikolas as it’s the only avenue she has left. This secret is going to likely become one that half of Port Charles knows and is keeping when all is said and done. I’m worried that Patrick may find out next, and like Liz he’ll keep it in order to hold onto Sam. He’s already lied to her about Jason once before after all. At this point I am going to put my money on Robin having to come back and expose the truth about Jake/Jason.

Julian, the test shows you are the father!
Julian finally learned the truth about Olivia’s baby after Sam felt pressured to tell him. With Ned (Wally Kurth) returning to “Days of our Lives” full time, we knew this one was coming. Olivia and Julian actually make a cute couple, and their electricity is off the charts. I normally don't feel sorry for Julian, but when Olivia kicked him out of her make-shift delivery room and he was forced into the imaginary waiting room, I did feel for him. Alexis telling him to think of it as a throwback to the old days when men weren't allowed in the delivery room was great. Alexis was trying to be supportive, but it seemed like there was some tension there over this news. It will be very interesting to see how Alexis deals with Julian and Olivia's baby, but first the baby has to make it out of danger.

Last tango.
Anna and Duke’s impromptu tango at the ball was a nice save by Lucy, but just seemed to be one huge omen. Their later decision to run away and leave Port Charles behind them seemed to be the nail in the casket for these two. Whenever soap characters decide to do that viewers know it isn’t going to lead to a happy ever after. Even Sloane knew this wasn't going to end well, and he begged her not to go. She wondered why he cared, as did the viewers. It's clear even after all he's done to Anna that he cares for her. I was actually waiting for him to spit out, "Because I love you woman!" Alas he did not. Later at the docks Duke stumbled into Anna's arms having been shot earlier by Carlos. It's really not looking good for Duke. Who knows though, maybe Anna can jet him out of town and hide him away like she attempted to do with Faison. After all, few ever remain really dead on a soap.

Hit me with your best shot.
Duke wasn’t the only target of a mob hit, as "can’t be bothered to check my messages" Bruce attempted to take out Jordan. Every once in a while Jordan shows what she can actually do, and this was one of those moments as she skillfully took out Bruce. Sadly though when she turned to Anna for help, Anna pretty much bailed on her and chose Duke's side. With the evidence against Duke that Sloane now has, does this mean Jordan can finally stop working undercover? Or will he take over for Anna and continue to force her to remain an operative. And how in the heck is she going to explain this to Shawn? We'll have to tune in and watch next week!

As always these are just my opinions on the show. Agree or disagree, leave your own in the comments. Also be sure to read Soaps.com's interview where Michelle Stafford teases Franco and Nina's future..

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Screen shots courtesy of ABC.

- Dustin Cushman